Neighbor posted 10 second video of my child on Facebook (teenager, pregnant, girl)
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It doesn't sound like he meant any harm. Just ask him to take it down if it bothers you. I have quite a few friends who refuse to post their kid's photos to Facebook.
See, here's the thing. When someone is paranoid enough to think posting their kid's photos to Facebook is going to cause them to be abducted to the planet Mercury for alien experiments or whatever they're worried about, or think that their child is entitled to absolute privacy everywhere they go as if they "own their likeness" or something, well that's one thing in and of itself. But when it starts polluting something so innocent and harmless as this, and causes the assertion to be made that you have to ask permission to photograph anyone but your own kids ever no matter the context, now it's getting out of hand.
For crying out loud, I can't imagine being the grandmother in a situation like this and having my paranoid grown children freak out because I had the audacity to photograph my own grandchild and, oh no, actually show this to people as a proud grandmother or grandfather is very naturally going to want to do. For me, that's one of the few times I deviate from my usual "grandparents are to respect the wishes of the parents no matter what" stance and I feel like the parents ought to lighten up a little bit.
For me, photos are about artistic expression if I'm "on" (and I'm not always "on"), they're also about recording the journey of life and the beautiful moments of it so I can look back on them later. That's it. It's harmless. I am a camera bug, taking photos is practically part of my very molecular structure, and I know that if my child had a friend and they were playing here together or in a park etc as part of my daily life, I'm photographing it, and if the parents want to make an issue out of something as silly as that, they can find somewhere else to hang out. I mean it. Sometimes people need to be told that they're being ridiculous, in the nicest way possible mind you, versus one always accommodating every single thing that someone considers "uncomfortable."
Now, if a compromise is offered where we are still able to take photos but don't post to Facebook and especially don't "tag" them, I could probably meet them halfway on that settlement. That's probably fine. Such would mean I have those photos as memory snaps to look back on later, but it's kept off Facebook. But to be this heavy-handed about it like we're the Amish or involved in a witness protection program--no, thank you.
... As for pedophiles simply seeing photos of your children and presumably pleasuring themselves to it, as sick and such as that is, dare I say it--so what? Why does that even matter at all? As sick as that is, and it certainly is sick, it's not actually harming anybody. If such meant that your child could be kidnapped, then that would be one thing, and in the few cases where that may be a real risk (custody disagreements that have gone down an awful path) that is one thing, but overall day-to-day, I think the risk is WAY overblown and not reason enough for it to be considered that one should never take photos of people without their permission. Where would the photos seen in those Henri Cartier-Bresson museums be if he had asked permission every time he practiced his "street photography?"...
Wow. In my opinion you are in the extreme when it comes to lack-of-boundaries.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne
Do you have stats on that, or are you just presuming that many pedophiles do this? I would not have guessed that Facebook would be the primary place most creeps would go for that. Unfortunately, there are plenty of child porn sites, kiddie beauty pageant websites and videos, etc.
And I would guess that if some pedophile wanted to find a child to actually target, he'd just look in real life (neighborhood, playground, etc), not find some random child on Facebook, then go abduct that child.
But those are all my assumptions, and I could be completely wrong. That's why I asked if you have stats about pedophiles and Facebook.
I don't think the FBI is posting detailed information of pedophiles they investigate and where they get their rocks off. But a simple Google search will certainly give you enough information to tell you that your kids are being enjoyed by pedophiles the world over. I suppose the possibility of a photo on Facebook leading to an actual kidnapping of a child is unlikely, so if you, like shyguy above, have no problem of a pedophile "enjoying" photos of your kids from afar, then post away.
If you aren't comfortable with it just ask your neighbor to take it down. In this day and age it is very common for people to take videos/pictures and post them on social media without asking.
I'm not on Facebook so I have no way of knowing when people post pictures of me. But my stalker is and that's where he's gotten some of his information about where I am and what I'm doing.
Wow. In my opinion you are in the extreme when it comes to lack-of-boundaries.
I don't think the FBI is posting detailed information of pedophiles they investigate and where they get their rocks off. But a simple Google search will certainly give you enough information to tell you that your kids are being enjoyed by pedophiles the world over. I suppose the possibility of a photo on Facebook leading to an actual kidnapping of a child is unlikely, so if you, like shyguy above, have no problem of a pedophile "enjoying" photos of your kids from afar, then post away.
I'm not on Facebook so I have no way of knowing when people post pictures of me. But my stalker is and that's where he's gotten some of his information about where I am and what I'm doing.
These are actually two very different issues. And you seem to be suggesting that posting a picture of a child will make them a victim or a pedophile.
The issues with pictures and pedophiles is very different than stalking. The vast majority of child molesters target someone known to them and not children online. Suppose the child wins the local science fair. Would you push parents to not allow their children be in the local paper as well? Far more identifying info available there than in a video as described by the OP.
There was a story circulating on Facebook a while back about a peodophile kidnapping a child he found through Facebook. It turned out to be a hoax. I don't believe there has ever been a case of that happening in real life. What's much more common is peodophiles posing as children on social media and befriending unsuspecting kids, then luring those kids to meet up with them somewhere.
Even when pedophiles troll for pictures to steal for their own personal use... I mean wouldn't certain types of pictures be more likely to steal? Like bathtub or bathing suit pictures, or kids all dolled up John Benet Ramsey style.... Or maybe that's just an assumption on my part. I don't really know.
In any case a 10 second video of a kid in a team cap seems extremely low risk to me.
Do you have stats on that, or are you just presuming that many pedophiles do this? I would not have guessed that Facebook would be the primary place most creeps would go for that. Unfortunately, there are plenty of child porn sites, kiddie beauty pageant websites and videos, etc.
And I would guess that if some pedophile wanted to find a child to actually target, he'd just look in real life (neighborhood, playground, etc), not find some random child on Facebook, then go abduct that child.
But those are all my assumptions, and I could be completely wrong. That's why I asked if you have stats about pedophiles and Facebook.
In the early days of Facebook, I had 2 "friend requests" from young men I went to high school with who subsequently were convicted of child molestation. Sure, it was unlikely either of these guys would have targeted my family, but I was still glad I didn't accept every request that came through. Privacy still matters to some of us.
When people are out in the public, their images are public, I believe. Notwithstanding, I can't believe it even crossed anyone's mind to be concerned about a pic like the one described. Complete harmless and funny.
But if you're paranoid about it, admit to the neighbor that you are maybe a little overly concerned about such things, and ask him not to do that again. So all concerned understand that you have an issue, and the neighbor did nothing wrong. That way, it doesn't offend him that you think he did something really wrong. Preserves the neighborly relationship.
But really, it's no different than little Jimmy having a birthday party, and the parents post some birthday party pics. In that case, they wouldn't be able to do that, if all the parents were paranoid about having their kids pictures posted.
It doesn't matter what the OP is worried about or why. At the end of the day, none of us have the right to post things without passing it by the person being posted about. Has society lost all sense of tact and decorum? What happened to a little something called manners?
These are actually two very different issues. And you seem to be suggesting that posting a picture of a child will make them a victim or a pedophile.
The issues with pictures and pedophiles is very different than stalking. The vast majority of child molesters target someone known to them and not children online. Suppose the child wins the local science fair. Would you push parents to not allow their children be in the local paper as well? Far more identifying info available there than in a video as described by the OP.
Of course they are different issues. Stalkers and pedophilia are very different crimes. But both issues can be exacerbated by posting pictures on Facebook without regard to what the person whose photo it is may want. And just for the record, minors can't give their consent, only their parents can.
I certainly never said that posting of picture of a child could make them a pedophile. Is that a typo and you're saying make them a victim OF a pedophile? It is unusual, but not unheard of, for a pedophile to contact a child victim he's seen photos of online (different story when it's teens,then it's common). But as far as I'm concerned I'm just as creeped out by a sick person who is masturbating to a photo of a child. And that can and does happen a lot. You obviously didn't read the links I provided.
Just four months ago, a new report was issued by the Australian government’s Children eSafety Commissioner. Commissioner Alastair MacGibbon said up to half of the images of children shared on pedophile sites his organization investigated originally came from social media.
He told the Sydney Morning Herald that while they obviously weren’t sexual in nature to begin with, the pictures shared on these can be sexualized with the addition of captions, comments or photo editing. He said, "Many users clearly identify that they have obtained the content through trawling social media accounts. The images are almost always accompanied by highly explicit and very disturbing user comments. Often, users exchange email addresses with invitations to connect outside the site to trade content."
The Herald told its readers most of the images were "uploaded innocently enough by parents or family friends, without the faintest inkling they would become fodder for such grossness; the numbers of stolen photos uncovered run into the tens of millions, with most coming from sites and apps including Facebook, Kik, and Instagram. One site contain[ed] 45 million stolen photos ..."
As I said before, if you're OK with playing the odds with your kids, fine. But don't come around crying if you find out a photo of your kid is on a sex pervert's webpage in another country or even being used without permission or payment by anyone selling a product of any kind. That happens a lot, too.
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