Disabled friend needs help with troubled teen (out of control, parents, wife)

[kitfox]

I'm in Los Angeles and I'm trying to help a good friend.

My friend is struggling after a heart attack and is basically unable to take care of himself, his wife is doing a tremendous job. The problem is that their 13 yr. old son, according to my friend, has begun hitting his mother and lashing out. He says it is a "critical situation" but he absolutely does not want me to involve social services.

I myself have never had children so am unsure what to do and could really use some suggestions.

Thank You.

[Hedgehog_Mom]

The parents need to talk to their child's doctor and get an appropriate referral. They could also call 211 to find out about resources in their community...sounds like their son needs some counseling at the very least.

[citylove101]

Yes, HHMom's advice is spot on. The kid obviously needs some sort of counseling (maybe the whole family does)and if it can be arranged privately, that's all to the good.

But also tell the friend to call the cops the next time this boy hits or assaults his mother. A parent should NEVER have to live in fear of an assault from a child. Repeat that: NEVER. That is not allowable under ANY circumstances whatsoever.

They may want to avoid being involved with social services or the juvenile justice system. It is no fun for anyone, to say the least. But it is far better to do that now than it is to let the child get away with parental assault and watch his anger management (or whatever the problem is) spiral out of control -- which could lead to very serious consequence inside and outside the family.

Hitting your parent is crossing a huge red line, and the friend's family must acknowledge that for everyone's good.

[purehuman]

Originally Posted by kitfox

I'm in Los Angeles and I'm trying to help a good friend.

My friend is struggling after a heart attack and is basically unable to take care of himself, his wife is doing a tremendous job. The problem is that their 13 yr. old son, according to my friend, has begun hitting his mother and lashing out. He says it is a "critical situation" but he absolutely does not want me to involve social services.

I myself have never had children so am unsure what to do and could really use some suggestions.

Thank You.

Any chance you could spend a few days in the home with them?
Then you'd get some idea of why or what's causing the child to lash out.
I can completely understand why he doesn't want any social services or cops involved.
Above all else...respect your friends wishes.