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The nest is now officially empty, i just took my youngest daughter to the airport where she will fly to the other side of the country for an indefinite period of time.
I've been an emotional wreck since i returned home from the airport,the feeling of loss is overwhelming, Not only do i lose my daughter but also the family lifestyle,to make matters worse i now have to deal with a house full of memories, does this feeling of grief ever go away?
You did not 'lose' your daughter... she is still very much alive!
You lifestyle is changed, yes. But now you have time to do things on YOUR time schedule, not the kids'.
Get out into the world! You can go to the gym, volunteer (maybe drive for Meals on Wheels!), attend local college events, any number of things.
You honestly sound depressed. You have too much of your identity tied to your children. I believe talking to a health professional may help.
The nest is now officially empty, i just took my youngest daughter to the airport where she will fly to the other side of the country for an indefinite period of time.
I've been an emotional wreck since i returned home from the airport,the feeling of loss is overwhelming, Not only do i lose my daughter but also the family lifestyle,to make matters worse i now have to deal with a house full of memories, does this feeling of grief ever go away?
Snap out of it! You've done your job, and obviously you've done it well. Your children have done exactly what they should, and struck out on their own as independent adults. Surely you wouldn't want to switch places with the countless parents on C-D who post laments about adult kids who refuse to leave the nest?
When my last son graduated college, I began volunteer work. That led to a paying part time position. We are currently having fun checking out properties online that fit our down-sized life. And, we are enjoying being just a married couple again, with no one to please except ourselves. We can have fish for dinner any night we want!
Jambo it will get better. That feeling of aloneness feels good sometimes! Right now you miss her with all your heart, but honestly--she's not gone, she's just a few hours away. She's just a phone call or a text away.
Hang in there, find something to do tonight to get your mind off of it.
Just think about when the grandkids all start pouring in , no time for feeling lonely then... My oldest son who s 49 gets married for the first time in two days in Greece... He has two lovely grown up sons from a previous relationship and his new bride has been married before and has a wee boy ... Lets hope hes found happiness at last and makes his young new family happy.. Hopefully Ill have wedding photos flooding through soon... Hes been out of the house since his twenties but as I had four my house has never been empty... its now full of their kids... never a dull moment here... All the very best Jim and Kerie. on the 23rd June..
Jambo it will get better. That feeling of aloneness feels good sometimes! Right now you miss her with all your heart, but honestly--she's not gone, she's just a few hours away. She's just a phone call or a text away.
Hang in there, find something to do tonight to get your mind off of it.
It does get easier.
Yes, it sure does get easier.
I remember the summer before I took my only son/child to college six hours away. The entire summer, I was near tears. I cried during a workout; when I woke up in the morning, and if I heard a sad song. One time I drove him to a swim meet and dropped him off and pretended I was leaving him at college ~ just to see what it felt like ~ and cried the entire 2 hours home.
When I took him to college, I was glad to see that he already had some friends from being on the swim team; it made it a little easier to leave him there.
Fast forward three years ~ this is the first summer he won't be back home for the entire summer. But, I go up there all the time to visit (it's a great place to visit); he texts me all the time and we talk on the phone.
I do enjoy my time alone; I still work like a dog to pay for school and it's nice to be able to do what I want to do after work (as opposed to preparing a meal, etc). Do I really miss spending an entire week-end sitting on the bleachers of some pool? Not really. At first I did but, no longer. Now I can go to happy hour; spend time with friends; go shopping, hiking, biking.
We still have a great relationship; it's just different.
But you couldn't have convinced me of this three years ago.
Yeah, I hear you. I grew up in a one parent household (my father was only there physically). But my mother, what an awesome woman. I love her dearly. I have been out of her house and on my own for a very long time and have kids of my own. I try to talk to her during the week on the phone because I have more time on my hands. But for years when I was working demanding jobs weeks would go by and I wouldn't even call her. I just didn't have the time. I often think about how lonely she must have been all these years. When you are in your early 20's you don't even think about your parents. I know that my daughters will one day establish their own lives just like I did. I know they won't be thinking of me either when they are out and about. It is sad, but hey that's life.
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