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He also have motor delays so sports aren't for him. I know its what boys do. He has the gross motor abilities of a 4 year old . I am happy to report that he plays soccer with many boys nearly every recess. But anything competitive, even if they say they aren't competitive, have been a bust. Usually leaving him in tears of embarrassment and frustration and refusing to go back. He avoids PE some, but his PE teacher emails me every week to tell me how things are going so we are on the same page and can keep him going and active. So he is participating quite a bit more.
Soon I plan to start him in martial arts and swim lessons and suggest by his physical therapist. Any day now. LOL I have no idea why its taking me so long to get around to it. I guess we just had such bad experiences with after school activities because of his delays, I am just weary about starting something else he is going to refuse after a few classes.
What about something like a chess club or something like a Magic game? We have some comic book shops in my area and they have gaming areas. Every Saturday they have a couple different games going on. They have different times for different ages. There are Lego clubs and robotics clubs as well. I've seen some amazing things built by children with those K'nex things. He sounds like a very smart boy and might enjoy using his brain to make something or build something. He may also find other children more like him. If nothing else, he'll learn something!
This whole thread reminds me of our first visit to Disneyworld, DS was 5. Our first morning we had breakfast with Mickey at the Contemporary. DS was so excited to meet Mickey! When the Mickey character visited at another table, DS ran and belly-flopped right on their table! He upset the table, everyone's dishes flew every which-way (hey, there went about $200 of food), stared up at Mickey and said HI! Then, the little girl at the table said to my DS "will you marry me"?
Oh, the whole place was hysterical, except for us, we were mortified! The Disney staff handled it well. They first asked if anyone was hurt, then re-seated the "injured party" and restocked their table (it was a buffet), didn't charge us for damages, and even gave DS a free stuffed Disney plush toy and ears!
OP, just have to learn---parenting can be embarrassing! Then, it turns into fond memories
For me it does not matter that much some times we experienced that too when we were on vacation some other kid come and sit with us. But if I am having my coffee in the restaurant next door after a tough day at work then I prefer to be alone. Well it is hard to say some kids are quiet some are not.
He sounds like a lovely boy and I'd be delighted if he sat at my table for a chat! I love it when kids are confident and out-going as I was such a shy kid and felt so sad that I didn't have the courage to talk to people. My kid varies between shy and out-going, sometimes she will just go up to strangers on the train and start singing to them, although she always starts first with just quick looks and smiles to see if she gets a positive reaction before she goes closer, she's very good at testing the waters so to speak.
I think as long as you continue reinforcing boundaries and not talking too loudly indoors then you are doing a great job.
I haven't read anything other than the OP, but just from that I can tell you, HFB, that I think I would be utterly charmed by your son. I love it when a kid is so comfortable with other people, especially people of various ages.
Your description sounds like a kid in our church, who is also about the same age. I think he is absolutely precious.
As for his "loud" voice - he may be one of those people who has a voice that just naturally "carries." Unfortunately for me (in some scenarios), I have a voice like that myself. It's a matter of a sort of depth to the voice, not simply being "loud." I swear, I could be whispering in a crowded room and even the whisper would carry. It's very difficult to control, and takes a lot of self discipline. The upside is that I do very well with public speaking, "crowd control," that sort of thing. Coupled with an extroverted personality, your son may be a natural born leader and/or a great speaker one day.
Also - an aside note: Have his hearing checked if you haven't already. That can be one cause of speaking loudly.
I haven't read anything other than the OP, but just from that I can tell you, HFB, that I think I would be utterly charmed by your son. I love it when a kid is so comfortable with other people, especially people of various ages.
Your description sounds like a kid in our church, who is also about the same age. I think he is absolutely precious.
As for his "loud" voice - he may be one of those people who has a voice that just naturally "carries." Unfortunately for me (in some scenarios), I have a voice like that myself. It's a matter of a sort of depth to the voice, not simply being "loud." I swear, I could be whispering in a crowded room and even the whisper would carry. It's very difficult to control, and takes a lot of self discipline. The upside is that I do very well with public speaking, "crowd control," that sort of thing. Coupled with an extroverted personality, your son may be a natural born leader and/or a great speaker one day.
Also - an aside note: Have his hearing checked if you haven't already. That can be one cause of speaking loudly.
He does have a voice that carries, he is barrel chested and even talking quietly, his voice is loudish. But he does bring up the volume quite a bit when he gets excited and especially if there is a lot of noise and energy going on around him. I try to remember that when asking him to quiet down. All I say is "volume" and he brings it in a few notches.
This whole thread reminds me of our first visit to Disneyworld, DS was 5. Our first morning we had breakfast with Mickey at the Contemporary. DS was so excited to meet Mickey! When the Mickey character visited at another table, DS ran and belly-flopped right on their table! He upset the table, everyone's dishes flew every which-way (hey, there went about $200 of food), stared up at Mickey and said HI! Then, the little girl at the table said to my DS "will you marry me"?
Oh, the whole place was hysterical, except for us, we were mortified! The Disney staff handled it well. They first asked if anyone was hurt, then re-seated the "injured party" and restocked their table (it was a buffet), didn't charge us for damages, and even gave DS a free stuffed Disney plush toy and ears!
OP, just have to learn---parenting can be embarrassing! Then, it turns into fond memories
HAHAHA yep we were at disney...we even went to chef mickey. I made sure to let him know not to interrupt other people's time with the characters. Your story is so funny. I am glad it was handled well! Im sure it wasn't the only time.
What about something like a chess club or something like a Magic game? We have some comic book shops in my area and they have gaming areas. Every Saturday they have a couple different games going on. They have different times for different ages. There are Lego clubs and robotics clubs as well. I've seen some amazing things built by children with those K'nex things. He sounds like a very smart boy and might enjoy using his brain to make something or build something. He may also find other children more like him. If nothing else, he'll learn something!
OP, I agree with the others that you are a great parent who is doing everything right.
But, since you asked (because you're an good parent who is sensitive and aware)...I'm sorry to say, yes, I think it would annoy me to have some random kid plop down and start up or join in a conversation. But it depends on the circumstances. The scene you described reminds me of a trip our family went on a few months ago so as I read your post I pictured the Disney resort lounge on this recent vacation (did you happen to be in DisneyWorld??) I feel like my time with my kids is limited enough, that, especially on vacation, I don't want my kids to have to share my attention with another child. BUT I love kids, and find them very charming, so I would be as polite as possible to a friendly stranger, but I would desperately wish his parents would call him back, and I would politely try to end the conversation. I would be especially sensitive to this dynamic on a family vacation (meaning my husband would also be present.) He has very little undivided time to spend with his kids, and he's great about treasuring every minute. He would definitely be annoyed, and politely, but firmly try to send the child on his way.
On the other hand, at almost all of my kids' sports practice I am like the pied piper of children, as they all follow me around and tell me their life story and get happy excited smiles on their faces when they see me walking up, because they know I will be nice to them, play games with them, look them in the eye and listen to them. And I usually have extra toys and snacks In those situations, for the most part, I'm happy to give the parents a break and entertain their kid--I'm already entertaining my own, why not a few more?? But occasionally i struggle with knowing how to kindly hold them off when my own kids are in need of some extra attention.
Then again, I had a neighbor who used to just smile away while her kids told me these lengthy stories that I only half understood, and, since this was not a rare event, I used feel like I was being held hostage by politeness and why-the-heck-doesn't-she-cut-the-kid-off-and-get-to-the-damn-point?!?!
So: circumstances
Yep, club level at WDW. Good guess.
He wouldn't be offended if someone told him to go away, he would just go away. If I noticed anyone seemed to mind, I would have jumped in right away. I didn't see it. In fact, being on vacation, I think people were a bit more laid back (except for when it came to gathering breakfast when people were trying to make rope drop, then they were totally elbowing in). But that "desperately wish" thing is what bothers me...because when I do go up and try to recall him, the adults undercut me and tell me "no he is fine" or "oh we love talking to him" or "what a smart guy, he is fine where he is". And then if I push it with him, he will be mad at me for making him leave and not letting him be social. Then I have a fight on my hands...because he is also very stubborn with me (especially now that he is a tween!). If they flat out ask him to give them space, that works. Or if I recall him and they either say nothing or back me up (even if they said "well it was nice chatting with you, have a good breakfast") then I can work with that. Its the "no no, he is fine..." even if they don't mean it. But sometimes they do mean it. I wouldn't mind kids sitting with us for breakfast on a vacation.
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. I am happy to report that he plays soccer with many boys nearly every recess. But anything competitive, even if they say they aren't competitive, have been a bust. Usually leaving him in tears of embarrassment and frustration and refusing to go back. He avoids PE some, but his PE teacher emails me every week to tell me how things are going so we are on the same page and can keep him going and active. So he is participating quite a bit more.
I guess we just had such bad experiences with after school activities because of his delays, I am just weary about starting something else he is going to refuse after a few classes.
