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No, I don't know. I've seen a good number of folks either disagree with you or be outright offended by your statements. And not just on this thread. Anyone who dares have a dissenting opinion is now a "mean girl"? I find that mildly amusing since you are the one calling everyone else a "lesser" parent and not the other way around. Exactly what is "mean" about anyone else's comments that justify you concocting some sort of "mean girl's club"?
Oh maybe you weren't invited in it? Maybe. But I am pretty sure you are on the members list.
While I appreciate your post, I don't think it relates to my post.
My post is coming from someone who is fed up with the guilt tripping from some women and the castigation by some men because a women chooses to work outside the home. There are many women who work outside of the home not because they want to live like royalty but because they have to. Or there are some women who work because they don't want their skills to diminish. There are others who work because they want the flexibility that a dual earning household provides. Some are all of the above. This is probably like the tenth topic I've seen on C-D about the age old "working parent v. stay at home parent". In real life, I don't really care about a woman's choice that she makes for her family. I feel the same way about that online. But I don't want to hear any lectures about being such a bad parent because my children attended daycare for ten hours. My husband shouldn't feel bad because he's not singly making the same amount of income as a dual earner household like that poster. In fact, no one should feel anything about other people if the kids aren't being abused and they're happy.
The primal need for my need to work IS to take care of my kids' needs.
I agree with everything you said. As a SAHM, I think you are right on. Just because I feel (personally, in my personal opinion, for my family) that the best option is being a SAHM, doesn't mean I think any of those reasons for working are not valid. Nor do I think badly about a father who needs his partner to also work.
Just like you have opinions based on your experience, I have ones based on mine. It isn't black and white. I have meant to explain that all along.
You seem to be "misunderstood" (according to you) frequently lately, and by numerous people. I was taught that if that happened, the thing was to see what the constant was in the equation. Perhaps it's time to consider a good hard look in the mirror.
I'd say that misunderstanding others, based on preconceived notions and personalities, is well entrenched in this thread and others on C-D. This is not in any way, shape or form limited to HFB or any other one person on this thread.
And you're right - it says a lot about a person when they continually misread and misrepresent the intentions of others.
While I appreciate your post, I don't think it relates to my post.
My post is coming from someone who is fed up with the guilt tripping from some women and the castigation by some men because a women chooses to work outside the home. There are many women who work outside of the home not because they want to live like royalty but because they have to. Or there are some women who work because they don't want their skills to diminish. There are others who work because they want the flexibility that a dual earning household provides. Some are all of the above. This is probably like the tenth topic I've seen on C-D about the age old "working parent v. stay at home parent". In real life, I don't really care about a woman's choice that she makes for her family. I feel the same way about that online. But I don't want to hear any lectures about being such a bad parent because my children attended daycare for ten hours. My husband shouldn't feel bad because he's not singly making the same amount of income as a dual earner household like that poster. In fact, no one should feel anything about other people if the kids aren't being abused and they're happy.
The primal need for my need to work IS to take care of my kids' needs.
I hope you didn't think I was lecturing you. I totally agree with your statements above. I WAS one of those moms who had to work in order to provide for my kids. And I got a lot of satisfaction out of my career and don't feel guilty about that at all.
Careful. You're wandering into "mean girl" territory with that kind of talk!
I'm pretty sure that riaelise isn't a member of the Mean Girl Club. She seems like a very level headed, forthright, intelligent poster. I'm very familiar with her posting style and I usually either agree with her or her arguments are at the very least thought provoking and worth reading.
I'd say that misunderstanding others, based on preconceived notions and personalities, is well entrenched in this thread and others on C-D. This is not in any way, shape or form limited to HFB or any other one person on this thread.
And you're right - it says a lot about a person when they continually misread the intentions of others.
Well, folks can't always infer "intentions" so all they can go by is what is actually said. And when posters deny what's been quoted and call it "twisting", or outright change their story, (or completely delete less than flattering posts) but then dig themselves deeper, it seems pretty clear.
Well, folks can't always infer "intentions" so all they can go by is what is actually said. And when posters deny what's been quoted and call it "twisting", or outright change their story, (or completely delete less than flattering posts) but then dig themselves deeper, it seems pretty clear.
Funny.
I say "I love a blue sky"
And you say "I cant believe you said a purple sky is ugly"
I say "no I didn't say that, I just said I love a blue sky"
And you say "I just quoted you! Stop lying. People think you are a liar now. All of us do. Look in the mirror, liar. You hate purple skies"
I say "no purple skies are fine, I just love blue ones"
And on and on and on....
PS I havent edited a post besides to fix an error and haven't deleted anything. If something was deleted, it wasn't me
Well, folks can't always infer "intentions" so all they can go by is what is actually said. And when posters deny what's been quoted and call it "twisting", or outright change their story, (or completely delete less than flattering posts) but then dig themselves deeper, it seems pretty clear.
Things are clear, alright - we can agree on that.
This thread hasn't been hard to follow or understand at all to me. The intentions and opinions of every poster I can think of have been easy to understand and clearly stated. I have my own opinions about what is generally best for kids, but even so, I haven't been offended by any of what seem to me to be very genuinely felt and expressed opinions even when they differ from mine. This is always a loaded topic but in my opinion, that's OK, because it should do us good to read the opinions of others who are or have been "in the trenches" as moms.
I'm all about empowering women. It's demeaning to women, in my opinion, to argue in a catty manner about such a serious topic as how we are going to raise the most precious gifts we will ever receive.
And it's pointless. I would much rather take a deep breath and really LISTEN to what other women are saying.
But hey, that's just me.
I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!
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