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This may be an unpopular opinion here, but you should respect his privacy.
Nobody I knew when I was 13 (8 years ago) used the internet to meet up with strangers, we would only use the internet for video games, porn, and other harmless things. I'm sure things are the same way now.
When parent can deal with their kids sexuality in a calm way, it is better for the child to feel love and accepted as a human being. This hiding is the worse thing they can do. I had open door policy and even my grand calls me at 3 am to tell me or ask me stuff because I won't go bananas. It's calming to the child! I cried later . But they could tell me. Anything ! My answer was to then deal with what ever it was. Open the door to the boy and let them know you are there for him. It is better to talk to an adult that truly loves you than strange folks that may have other intentions.
What in heaven's name is a 13 year old doing with an iphone in his possession without a parent right there? An iphone is a sex toy. I got an I phone for one reason: to hook up with horny available (often married) chicks that I could meet up with on my way home from work. I have absolutely no other use for the thing. And yes...it works!
I'm sure NAMBLA has already contacted him. They love 13 year old boys.
Too much money, too much fertility, and not enough common sense is the real issue here - and that part has nothing to do with the kid. Sheesh.
This also isn't true. You can google the Ron White video "everyone is a little bit gay." Or you can take the scholarly route and learn about the Kinsey scale.
I'm of the opinion that nobody is 100% heterosexual or 100% homosexual. Not me. Not you. Not anyone. 95% gay or straight? Sure. 98% gay or straight. OK, I'm still on board. But 100%? That's laughably illogical.
But so as to quit preaching and try to help OP:
1) Attraction IS orientation. By the age of 13, he knows what turns him on. And what turns him on isn't women -- don't try to force the issue. Don't assume that it's a phase that he'll grow out of. Don't make a big deal out of it at all. In fact, don't even hold out hope that he'll "snap out of it." (He may, since sexuality is fluid. But hoping for an outcome isn't going to help.)The majority of humans aren't totally heterosexual -- 60% of us have some kind of same-sex attraction, whether acted on or not, vs. 40% with no compelling same-sex attraction.
2) STDs. Have that talk ASAP. You personally may want to learn more about STDs in the gay community. It's not just HIV. No matter how he turns out in regard to orientation, he's obviously keenly interested in sex. The porn is just a symptom of that -- not the cause.
And I disagree with the anti-porn brigade on this thread. Ban it from his phone and he'll just get it on a thumb drive thanks to friends with more permissive parents. There's no way a sexually-active teen boy can't get his hands on pornography if that's what he wants. You may as well try to sweep a rising tide away with a broom.
Instead, I would have a talk about how porn isn't a realistic depiction of a relationship and leave it at that.
I am a loving and concerned mom, I recently got my 13 yr old a newer updated phone. I maybe go through his phone once a week, just to make sure he is not doing anything he is not supposed too! & my son is ok with me doing this. One day last week, I happened to go through his internet history, I never done this before until now!!! & I see three sites that he went too. Gay porn (man on man) and amine gay porn (man on man) and cartoon gay porn (man on man) I freaked out, I did not know what to say or think, I did not want to mention this to his dad, because he would have not liked seeing this what so ever. So, I waited all day until I picked him up from school to ask him about the sites that I saw on his phone. He started to cry & I told him, I love you & I want yo to be happy, love has no color or no gender, I asked him if he liked girls or boys and he said that he did not know! He was like I am curious! I asked do you like both?? He said he did not know. I told him in confidence that I will love him no matter what & I will always be his mom, I have not told his dad, because I am not sure how his dad will react! I need some advice please! Is my son gay or bi or just curious?? Should I tell his dad or wait to even say anything to his dad until my son is honest with him self and me
So what exactly do you need help with? Is the problem porn in general or gay porn? Either way, teens are curious creatures. Today with the internet, they can view anything very easily. If he's gay, he's gay. Nothing you can do about it. Accept him for who he is. You're seriously over thinking this. He's 13 not 31!
As a man I would want to know if it were my kid. In fact if my wife hid a major problem like this from me I would be upset. While all boys look at some dirty pictures, this sounds more serious. That is not the kind of stuff I looked at when I was a youngin. If it were my kid I would want him to talk to a Pastor about it. Modern technology is partly to blame here, too much weird stuff is available to anyone nowadays. When I was 13 it was a stack of playboys, now its clearly anything.
WTF is a pastor going to do about it except make him feel more guilty than he already does?
]What in heaven's name is a 13 year old doing with an iphone in his possession without a parent right there? [/b]An iphone is a sex toy. I got an I phone for one reason: to hook up with horny available (often married) chicks that I could meet up with on my way home from work. I have absolutely no other use for the thing. And yes...it works!
I'm sure NAMBLA has already contacted him. They love 13 year old boys.
Too much money, too much fertility, and not enough common sense is the real issue here - and that part has nothing to do with the kid. Sheesh.
What is the point in your kid having a phone if you are going to be looking over his shoulder the whole time he has it? My kid has a phone so I can call him. It is a smart phone because it was cheaper. I do allow him out of the house with it. Otherwise it would be pointless.
Lol someone actually said something about privacy? It's a child, when it comes to phone and Internet there is no such thing as privacy, if you're a good parent you monitor what they do and you have every right to go thru their stuff!!
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