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As for the wardrobe... We only buy her new clothes when she outgrows the old ones, and since she's slowed down on the growing that's happening less often. Anything she buys in between our purchases has to come out of her allowance or b-day/Christmas money. So she's stuck with a mostly black wardrobe for awhile! :-)
As for the wardrobe... We only buy her new clothes when she outgrows the old ones, and since she's slowed down on the growing that's happening less often. Anything she buys in between our purchases has to come out of her allowance or b-day/Christmas money. So she's stuck with a mostly black wardrobe for awhile! :-)
Thanks for responding. From the way that you wrote the thread I was concerned that she did not have any consequences for changing her mind about her wardrobe.
Thank you all for your input. My husband did suggest as an alternative just keeping it, and my initial thought was "What a waste of money." However, looking at it through the lens you have all presented, that does make the most sense. I've learned my lesson as well, and gifts will be smaller scale, and either from a written request or just money.
Yes, the gift is given, and you gave her what you honestly thought she wanted, with confirmation. Don't feel bad. Next time, she will learn to be more clear about what she asks for. When this happened in my youth, my dad would "remind" me for the next 20 years how "Well, remember that time you wanted ____ and then when you got it?" Maybe you could annoy her in that way--bet it would stop her asking for whimsical interests
This could be my daughter! OP I hear what you are saying. It's more how to teach your daughter to be more thoughtful and not flakey on her decisions. You took time to get her exactly what she wanted, and she turns it around to blame you.
So familiar! I am trying to figure out what to do for that as well.
She's definitely an entitled child. I certainly wouldn't give her any money for the camera. But, rather than argue with hubby, let it gather dust.
But, really, quit second guessing gifts with her. It's time to set some type of boundary. Even if it's just, "You need to let us know by X date what you want within this budget." Then give her that and don't let her change her mind.
But, really, she's spoiled. The biggest challenge for you, though, is dealing with hubby.
No real problem here. She's 14. Pretty much sums it up. Mood swings and wild changes of direction are par for the course. Even for the poster who already has her a college drop out, how many kids know at 14 what they plan to do with their lives? Every kid is different. I have one who's stayed on target since kindergarten and one who changes his mind on a weekly basis.
I agree. Let the camera gather dust. Love it or hate it, it is hers.
Your daughter actually had a hand in choosing her gift. I've been given things before that I did not request and did not really want. I politely let it sit and didn't comment. I cannot tell you how offensive it was for the giver to come back and start using or take back what I had been given. I found it really controlling.
But, really, she's spoiled. The biggest challenge for you, though, is dealing with hubby.
I so don't envy your position.
It is a challenge! He came from an abusive home and his parents spent more money on booze than on anything else. By the grace of God, he has pulled himself up by his bootstraps, and went from a HS drop out to having a Master's degree. He's always wanted his kids to have a better life than he did. So sometimes he has blinders on to what they are given. When they were smaller, it wasn't such a big deal because it was just little things. Now that they are older, and the stuff they want is more expensive, I find us disagreeing on this stuff more often! It's a work in progress!
No real problem here. She's 14. Pretty much sums it up. Mood swings and wild changes of direction are par for the course. Even for the poster who already has her a college drop out, how many kids know at 14 what they plan to do with their lives? Every kid is different. I have one who's stayed on target since kindergarten and one who changes his mind on a weekly basis.
Mood swings!!!! She's always been my mellow/balanced child. A little emotional with her feelings getting hurt, but otherwise even keel. Then 13 hit, and wow! The hormonal changes have rocked her. I naively thought she was going to be my easy teenager! Somedays it's like living with Jekyll and Hyde.
How great that she is trying on a lot of different hats. This is the time when she is experimenting with being different kinds of "people". This is common and very healthy.
While you don't want to encourage her every whim, as long as there are boundaries, limits, and consequences what is happening with her is a good thing. It's great that she has passion and is exploring her world.
As far as the camera, it's hers. You gave it to her as a gift. It is for her to do with what she pleases. Maybe she wants to keep it. Maybe she wants to sell it. Nothing wrong with having a conversation with her about what she wants to do with it and maybe mentioning that she should pay more attention in telling you what she would like for gifts.
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She's always been my mellow/balanced child. A little emotional with her feelings getting hurt, but otherwise even keel. Then 13 hit, and wow! The hormonal changes have rocked her. I naively thought she was going to be my easy teenager! Somedays it's like living with Jekyll and Hyde.
