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I don't know how long she has been smoking or how much she smokes, but it reduces her stamina. One needs oxygen to lift heavy objects. If I had not had stamina as a non-smoker I would not have been able to lift 70-lb bags of mail during Christmas season years ago all night of an 8-hour shift as a distribution clerk. (I did that work to save my house, to pay my mortgage, just for ten months until I got a significantly better job.)
It would be good for her to get off cigarettes while she is still so young and it won't be very difficult.
Let your daughter complain about her job. She's venting and that's what kids do. You've made it clear that she has to work or go to college. That's great. I wonder if your daughter might be interested in some kind of vocational school or training program which can also lead to a better job. I think you should require your daughter to make some kind of contribution to your household. Having all of her earnings to spend on smokes, entertainment, and clothes is not realistic. However, I think you may have to start small with this. Perhaps a contribution towards the groceries, for now.
One lesson you may want to share with her is what things cost and how you manage. I wish my parents had done this for me. Many parents keep finances and budgeting secret from their kids so the kids grow up with many unrealistic ideas. I know I did. If she knew what you paid for housing, utilities, taxes, food, clothing, transportation, etc., it might give her something to think about.
I never learned to drive, but I live in an urban area so I could always rely on public transport to get to work. I do have a driving phobia and a terrible sense of direction. Perhaps you could ask her daughter why she is nervous about driving.
A graveyard shift sounds pretty rough. Is that all she could get? And here's another concern: is she the only woman on that job, during that shift? If I were a mom, I wouldn't want my daughter working a night shift around a crew of guys.Moderator cut: delete
Last edited by Miss Blue; 04-04-2016 at 05:33 AM..
Reason: racial comment
LOL, I hated when I started at UPS years ago. So many heavy parcels and that had me loading the trailer (so i had to lift those heavy parcels, make sure the parcel was going to this destination (they will try to trick you, to keep you on your toes), scan, etc. I HATED it! But I hadn't had a job or much money prior. That money made me stay...for about two and half years. After that first week though I was so sore.
She needs to learn disciple and dignity. I worked since I was 14ish, and the worse job ever was decades later... working at Apple Inc for a year (yes, the iThis and iThat people). Jobs for the young are supposed to build skills and character.
My 19 year old daughter got a job as an over night stocker at a wal mart neighborhood market. She works from 10 PM to 7 AM. She doesn't have a car or her license mainly because she has said she is too nervous to drive. Fortunately her job is only about a 10 minute walk and I know she does a lot more walking at the mall.
Anyway after her first night she came home crying complaining that she hates the walk and that she was working in dairy where she had to lift boxes she said were about 20-30 lbs. She went and took a shower and posted on her Facebook (I know it may seem weird for a parent to check their kids fb and I usually don't much but do believe it can be insightful) and she posted "gonna go sit in the shower and die". Then replied to some friends about how difficult the job is and how tired she is and she hates it.
To those probably wondering this isn't her first job but it is the first real job with a paycheck. Anyway I realize young people being lazy isn't really new but should I try to talk to her and tell her the usual "you're an adult and need to work and pay your own way just stick it out" or remain silent and just wait and see if she gets used to it.
In my 50's I got a job at a big home improvement store unloading skids, stocking shelves, and lifting boxes into the overhead storage areas using a 7 step graduated ladder.
The work was excruciating at first and my feet hurt so bad (steel toed boots) but in a couple weeks I got stronger and my feet stopped aching. It felt great that I was getting into good shape.The benefits are strong muscles all over the body in less time that going to the gym and you work more muscles at this type of job without realizing it.
Don't wear street shoes. If steel-toed shoes are not required find a work-shoe that supports your foot and add a cushioned insole. Thick socks also add cushioning.
It sounds as if the OP's daughter is learning what jobs are available to those who haven't prepared to participate in the workforce. Let her complain; she will become accustomed to the job or find another one. The only thing I'd worry about is the 10 pm walk.
Have you discussed with her through the years what her plan is for life? She presumably understands that money must be earned to pay bills, right?
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