Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Note that for tattling - you can use a stuffed animal and call it the *tattling animal.* Whenever the child wants to tell you a tale that will get his or her sibling in trouble, unless there is blood or a child is hurt, they have to tell it to the animal, not to you.
As girls get older, their friends will ostracize other girls for not showing up to social gatherings.
You might want to punish her for misbehaving and she will come home from school crying cause her friends told her not to talk to them anymore.
That isn't really worth the cost.
Yes it is. That's how you learn to be an adult instead of a child. Children care about friends not talking to them. Adults care about their responsibilities, and know that true friends never ostracize their friends for not showing up to social gatherings if they have a good reason.
I'm sorry I got off track with others responses. I am allowing her to go. She needs to do more things like that with friends or w/e. I just wish they would get along. I am not and did not punish her. I did just want to know about build a bear
I read the book "Siblings Without Rivalry" and it had very helpful tips on how to try to encourage your children to get along.
Oh I see nana already suggested it! Well, I second the recommendation.
Because, if that's the real question, you can't. You can enforce consequences for excessive squabbling or hitting, but the more you try to direct their interactions, the less natural they will be, and therefore, they won't behave as well if you aren't watching.
As much as possible, let them work it out. And definitely encourage individual friendships for each of them.
This. I am from a family of 7 kids - 6 girls and 1 boys. We argued all the time. When our parents interfered, it only made things worse. My 3 kids, ages 4-8 years old fight. I tell them to leave me out of it unless certain thing happens. Their arguments are always resolved on their own. It drives my husband, an only child, crazy when they fight and it is so hard for him to not interfere. He is getting better. But when he does, it always makes things worse because they want dad to choose a side, etc.
nana I really liked your last post. I will use that method. I am specific when I tell them what I want them to do or how I want them to behave. I don't just say behave and expect her to know what that means. I let her go b/c #1 She did apologize for how she acted. #2 She didn't actually hit him, just played like she was going to #3 I had her help me wash my walls with me doing it too so that she did have a consequence for the bickering. Plus she usually is really well behaved and does well at school. This was her first outing with a friend, just last week was her first going to a friends bday party. I think it's important to allow her to do more with friends when invited. Plus I literally never have a break from my kids, yes I still have my son today. But it was nice having a small break and just hanging out with my son.
Make behavioral expectations very clear - at a level of a child's understanding, and make equally clear the concrete consequences of violating those expectations. Behaviors (positive and negative and choices have consequences - that is a link that can not be made too clearly. When possible, those consequences should be natural, approximate natural, or at least proportional to the action or decision. Remember that the way you model your own adult behavior gets noticed; you don't want to show your child the correct way to behave by behaving like a correct child. Allow the child to have your image and personal standards be confirmation of protection, reliability and traits to aspire towards.
Yes it is. That's how you learn to be an adult instead of a child. Children care about friends not talking to them. Adults care about their responsibilities, and know that true friends never ostracize their friends for not showing up to social gatherings if they have a good reason.
Saying "My mom punished me" isn't a good reason.
It sounds like a cover for a better reason. So the girl gets branded a liar.
How would that make the girl branded a liar. If a child does something wrong and gets punished. So she tells the friend she can't go with them b/c she is being punished for w/e she did that is a good reason .Her friends wouldn't think she is a liar. We are talking about 8 year olds not high school kids.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
