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no paternity leave, unfortunately. my kids took almost a full year before they started sleeping through the night consistently, however, so i'm not sure how much good four weeks of paternity leave would do. The first few weeks certainly are the hardest, however. Even teenagers are easier than that!
Hopefully your coworker will have a good baby. My first didn't sleep through the night till he was 10 years old (not kidding), however my second was sleeping 11 hours straight from the time he was 6 weeks old.
The wife is going to stay at home so that probably knocks out FMLA for him since I would imagine they would need a paycheck.
You indicated he is upper middle class and his job could be on the line. He has no PTO to use and cannot afford to take a couple of weeks off with no pay? His wife will be at home and it sounds like there are no other children at home that need tending to. Many many families do this. I'm not getting the huge deal.
You indicated he is upper middle class and his job could be on the line. He has no PTO to use and cannot afford to take a couple of weeks off with no pay? His wife will be at home and it sounds like there are no other children at home that need tending to. Many many families do this. I'm not getting the huge deal.
I'm not the OP. I would just imagine that the guy would need a paycheck.
He cant just get some ear plugs. Price a night nanny and see of his spouse is willing to do the night time feedings until child is able to sleep through the night. Even with a nanny he will hear the baby cry.
I would bet that the man has at least some vacation time on his job, possibly even several weeks a year and maybe even some sick leave.
Or is he planning on taking all of vacation time by himself while his wife stays at home with their newborn baby? (of course, I am joking, most loving husbands & fathers do not do that).
I have known a number of men whose jobs did not offer paternity leave who planned their paid vacation time to coordinate with the birth of their child. Of course, it wouldn't be a lot of time but it is better than nothing.
Plus, the OP said that they could afford a night time nanny so that he won't have to get up with the baby.
Heck, if he is that worried about his job, he can buy a bigger house so he can sleep in a bedroom far from the baby, use multiple white noise machines between the baby's room & where he is sleeping, wear ear plugs.
It seems like he may be worrying too much. BTW, some babies cry very, very little at night.
He has a wife, but she is going to be a stay at home mom for a few years until the child is school aged. He is upper middle class, so he certainly could afford $15/hour 40 hours a week.
I know when my kids were younger, my wife was able to let me get sleep so I could function at my job, but it seems like there's more pressure on husbands these days to be an active participant in the parenting process, even when the children are infants. Most new parents I know seem to just be exhausted all the time, even the men. I was never that exhausted, because my wife let me sleep.
Since his wife is a stay at home mom and he is at risk of losing his high paying job if he screws up due to lack of sleep then the burden of waking up in the middle of the night will have to fall to the wife. He can be active in the parenting when he's home from work, just not in the middle of the night. I say this as stay at home mom. It just makes sense for her to handle the nighttime parenting due to their situation.
Since his wife is a stay at home mom and he is at risk of losing his high paying job if he screws up due to lack of sleep then the burden of waking up in the middle of the night will have to fall to the wife. He can be active in the parenting when he's home from work, just not in the middle of the night. I say this as stay at home mom. It just makes sense for her to handle the nighttime parenting due to their situation.
I second this^^
We have 4 kids and my husband is a loving, involved father. But I have enough common sense to know our family needs him coherent at work. As the stay at home parent, I did the night time stuff with the newborns. Since I was breastfeeding, it made even more sense. He did more on the weekends (letting me sleep in, etc) and more as they got older (bad dreams, sick kid, etc)
My sis-in-law, however, hired a night nanny and raved about how awesome that was. It truly sounded luxurious. However, they are seriously loaded and flew this woman across the country because she came so highly recommended. I am positive she was much more than $15 an hour. That's regular babysitter rates!!
Regardless, for the most, new parents simply adjust to functioning on less than ideal sleep.
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