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Wy are you so worried about your friend's job? Seems weird. He will figure it out the way he wants to, or he wont. It is 100% up to him. It has NOTHING to do with you.
Yes, there are night nannies. Care.com and nanny agencies are good places to find them.
I wouldn't have wanted a night nanny in a million years. I was a full time mom and I wanted to be there with them when they woke up at night. And one of my kids did until they were 6 years old!
My husband got up with the babies like 3 times ever. Which is crappy and totally self centered if you ask me. But he managed to keep a job where he was responsible for people's lives and didn't kill anyone.
My plan is for my husband to be a SAHD (which he really wants anyway, he's much more maternal than I am), he'll deal with nights on my work nights, and I'll bring home the bacon.
I also don't plan to breastfeed. I'd go for a wet nurse, but my husband finds that idea too creepy.
Wy are you so worried about your friend's job? Seems weird. He will figure it out the way he wants to, or he wont. It is 100% up to him. It has NOTHING to do with you.
Yes, there are night nannies. Care.com and nanny agencies are good places to find them.
I wouldn't have wanted a night nanny in a million years. I was a full time mom and I wanted to be there with them when they woke up at night. And one of my kids did until they were 6 years old!
My husband got up with the babies like 3 times ever. Which is crappy and totally self centered if you ask me. But he managed to keep a job where he was responsible for people's lives and didn't kill anyone.
So...I think your "friend" will be ok
I was thinking the same thing. I also think it's weird that an upper-middle class tech professional doesn't have any leave saved up. Furthermore, what the heck has he been doing for the past six or so months? Arranging for leave, in whatever form that may take, is pretty basic stuff.
I would bet that the man has at least some vacation time on his job, possibly even several weeks a year and maybe even some sick leave.
Or is he planning on taking all of vacation time by himself while his wife stays at home with their newborn baby? (of course, I am joking, most loving husbands & fathers do not do that).
I have known a number of men whose jobs did not offer paternity leave who planned their paid vacation time to coordinate with the birth of their child. Of course, it wouldn't be a lot of time but it is better than nothing.
Plus, the OP said that they could afford a night time nanny so that he won't have to get up with the baby.
Heck, if he is that worried about his job, he can buy a bigger house so he can sleep in a bedroom far from the baby, use multiple white noise machines between the baby's room & where he is sleeping, wear ear plugs.
It seems like he may be worrying too much. BTW, some babies cry very, very little at night.
I think you and many other posters here are right in that he is worrying too much. I'll relay him the advice in this thread, as there's some good pieces of it. Thanks!
Sleep deprivation sucks, but it is a fact of life with babies. He's just going to have to deal with being tired at work and hopefully he can nap after work or after supper if he's that tired.
I think it's only fair for both parents to be care-givers at night. It is a long, lonely night when you are up with a fussy baby. Spelling each other off at night makes a WORLD of difference for functioning during the day.
I breast fed both our boys. The first for 9 months, the second for 4 months.
So, if I was to give ONE word of advice to parents: if the mother decides to breast feed, let the baby get used to the taste of formula and drinking from a bottle RIGHT FROM THE START and keep it up every couple of days or they will reject it. Just a couple of ounces is enough
Doctors and nursing clinics discourage this idea, but I say this for a few reasons:
1) so the dad can get up for a night feeding every other night or so
2) in case you have a big eater and she/he wants to eat every hour or two. That little bit of formul helps a LOT to satisfy!
3) if you pump so you can go out, and have a babysitter, the baby needs to be able to accept a bottle because:
What happens when the baby drinks all that you've pumped and is still hungry? a shrieking, hungry child
What happens if the babysitter drops and breaks the bottle of breast milk, etc. It happens...
4) in the rare instance the mother suddenly can't breastfeed due to illness or an accident. Try introducing a 3 month old baby to formula and a bottle if they've never done it! You are in for a battle and a shrieking baby for hours. Believe me.
Well, presumably he has a spouse to help. Some fathers take some time off as paternity leave to help with the adjustment. But to be perfectly honest, he won't get through 18 years of parenthood without losing some sleep.
He can get a nanny or mother's helper for the daytime hours so his wife can get some sleep, and she can get up at night with the baby. Some friends of mine had the mom sleep in the room with the baby, and the husband slept in the guest room. Worked fine.
Well, presumably he has a spouse to help. Some fathers take some time off as paternity leave to help with the adjustment. But to be perfectly honest, he won't get through 18 years of parenthood without losing some sleep.
Truer words were never spoken And if the co-worker is trying to bail out of parenting responsibilities before the kid is even born, I'm wondering how devoted he will be as a parent.
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by the way OP why you worry this much??
