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OP, I think you're being kind-hearted, but why don't you just let the man and his wife figure it out?
To answer the question, sure, they could get a nanny, assuming they want one and can pay for it. But the bottom line is they'll figure it out like millions of parents before them have figured it out.
You don't think there is a difference in a decent nights sleep and a full on 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep? The OP's friend sounds like a big wimp. There, I said it. To think that his wife should make sure he gets 8 hours of sleep every freaking work day for the next 18-20 years (depending on how many kids they want) just because he is high maintenance is ridiculous. Unless this guy is an air traffic controller, I don't know what kind of tech job requires such a person to be so meticulous that he would get fired.
It's a little unfair to call someone a wimp for needing 8 hours of sleep. I work with some people who can't function properly unless they get 9 hours of sleep a night. Jobs that are mentally strenuous do require more sleep than physically strenuous jobs. Software engineering can be extremely mentally strenuous, and most of my coworkers sleep a good 8 hours every night. But everyone is different. Personally, I need at least 7 to be fully functional, although I can deal with isolated nights of 4-5 hours. My wife helped me get the sleep I needed during the early childhood years, but I've seen couples where that was not the case, and the quality of work suffered so much that a termination happened. I'd say I lost some sleep from my children, but honestly have lost way more sleep due to my job - I've lost track of the times I've had to pull all nighters or 100 hour weeks.
OP, I think you're being kind-hearted, but why don't you just let the man and his wife figure it out?
To answer the question, sure, they could get a nanny, assuming they want one and can pay for it. But the bottom line is they'll figure it out like millions of parents before them have figured it out.
I am, I made this topic more out of a curiosity of how other people would approach this situation. It's not something I really ever had to deal with too much when my kids were young, and it seems like parents these days just don't handle young children as well.
You don't think there is a difference in a decent nights sleep and a full on 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep? The OP's friend sounds like a big wimp. There, I said it. To think that his wife should make sure he gets 8 hours of sleep every freaking work day for the next 18-20 years (depending on how many kids they want) just because he is high maintenance is ridiculous. Unless this guy is an air traffic controller, I don't know what kind of tech job requires such a person to be so meticulous that he would get fired.
Babies don't keep you up for the first 18-20 years...mine both slept through the night by the time they were three or four months old.
When we had our first baby, my husband and I were both working so we alternated waking up with her. We were both tired all the time and never felt like we got anything done. When we had our second baby, I stopped working and we were both less exhausted, with me always getting up for the baby and him working. If I was tired, I was able to squeeze in a nap during the day, when both of my kids were napping.
I am a mom with a full time job as a software engineer. I got up with my babies. I worked sleep deprived and did fine. (I may have drank a bit of coffee lol.) My husband tried to get up in the night at first to take the pressure off me, but I was breastfeeding, and baby was getting bottles of pumped milk during the day at daycare, so I needed nighttime on the breast to keep up milk production. So I told my husband to just go back to bed. Eventually we worked out putting the crib in the master bedroom so that feeding was fast and easy and I didn't have to traipse around the house, and my husband slept in the guest room with the baby monitor so if I needed him in the middle of the night I could just call out to him. He got sleep and I got up every feeding. You're a parent now, you just suck it up and do it.
To compensate, on the weekends my husband would get up in the morning with the baby and let me sleep as long as I needed, and used the bottles of pumped milk, just like daycare. So I caught up on sleep on Saturday and Sunday.
But yeah, you're a parent now. Work out how best to do it, and then just suck it up and do it. Your friend is a wimp if he needs 8 hours of sleep to code. Drink some Jolt.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BongoBungo
Jobs that are mentally strenuous do require more sleep than physically strenuous jobs. Software engineering can be extremely mentally strenuous.
Again, as a Software Engineer myself, this makes me laugh. Software Engineering is one of the least stressful professions there is. That's one of the reasons it's so desirable and everyone's trying to learn how to code. Because if you can code well, (or do any of the other myriad things that come with software engineering well), then you have it made. Your profession is in high demand, is not very stressful, and pays well. Jackpot.
It's a little unfair to call someone a wimp for needing 8 hours of sleep. I work with some people who can't function properly unless they get 9 hours of sleep a night. Jobs that are mentally strenuous do require more sleep than physically strenuous jobs. Software engineering can be extremely mentally strenuous, and most of my coworkers sleep a good 8 hours every night. But everyone is different.
I think you underestimate the human body. Our military members have learned how to function on less sleep, same with Dr's who work insanely long shifts.
It can be done.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BongoBungo
Personally, I need at least 7 to be fully functional, although I can deal with isolated nights of 4-5 hours. My wife helped me get the sleep I needed during the early childhood years, but I've seen couples where that was not the case, and the quality of work suffered so much that a termination happened. I'd say I lost some sleep from my children, but honestly have lost way more sleep due to my job - I've lost track of the times I've had to pull all nighters or 100 hour weeks.
See, it can be done. You've been able to, when needed function on less sleep. Is it the best thing for you, no. But it can still be done.
Our military members have learned how to function on less sleep, same with Dr's who work insanely long shifts.
This exactly. Military? That's a stressful job. Doctor/Nurse? That's a stressful job. Daycare worker? That's a stressful job. Cops, social workers, I could go on and on.
It's a little unfair to call someone a wimp for needing 8 hours of sleep. I work with some people who can't function properly unless they get 9 hours of sleep a night. Jobs that are mentally strenuous do require more sleep than physically strenuous jobs. Software engineering can be extremely mentally strenuous, and most of my coworkers sleep a good 8 hours every night. But everyone is different. Personally, I need at least 7 to be fully functional, although I can deal with isolated nights of 4-5 hours. My wife helped me get the sleep I needed during the early childhood years, but I've seen couples where that was not the case, and the quality of work suffered so much that a termination happened. I'd say I lost some sleep from my children, but honestly have lost way more sleep due to my job - I've lost track of the times I've had to pull all nighters or 100 hour weeks.
How do I you suppose the rest of the parents around the world have done it? Do you think all parents went into it thinking "it's OK because a function on 5 hours of sleep?"
He has a wife, but she is going to be a stay at home mom for a few years until the child is school aged. He is upper middle class, so he certainly could afford $15/hour 40 hours a week.
I know when my kids were younger, my wife was able to let me get sleep so I could function at my job, but it seems like there's more pressure on husbands these days to be an active participant in the parenting process, even when the children are infants. Most new parents I know seem to just be exhausted all the time, even the men. I was never that exhausted, because my wife let me sleep.
Of course fathers should actively participate in the parenting process. Why not? My husband wouldn't have it any other way. We tag teamed night duty based on each other's sleep needs. As with everything, parenting (and marriage) is a TEAM EFFORT. No roles. When I was on maternity leave, dealing with an infant all of the day was more exhausting than my job. I was a walking food factory who struggled to catch an hour of sleep at a time. My husband relieved me when he came home from work. Each of us took one night feed. I, the wife, returned to work after 12 weeks, so I was in the same boat as my husband.
Two kids later and we've since moved on to the next parenting phase.
I am a mom with a full time job as a software engineer. I got up with my babies. I worked sleep deprived and did fine. (I may have drank a bit of coffee lol.) My husband tried to get up in the night at first to take the pressure off me, but I was breastfeeding, and baby was getting bottles of pumped milk during the day at daycare, so I needed nighttime on the breast to keep up milk production. So I told my husband to just go back to bed. Eventually we worked out putting the crib in the master bedroom so that feeding was fast and easy and I didn't have to traipse around the house, and my husband slept in the guest room with the baby monitor so if I needed him in the middle of the night I could just call out to him. He got sleep and I got up every feeding. You're a parent now, you just suck it up and do it.
To compensate, on the weekends my husband would get up in the morning with the baby and let me sleep as long as I needed, and used the bottles of pumped milk, just like daycare. So I caught up on sleep on Saturday and Sunday.
But yeah, you're a parent now. Work out how best to do it, and then just suck it up and do it. Your friend is a wimp if he needs 8 hours of sleep to code. Drink some Jolt.
Again, as a Software Engineer myself, this makes me laugh. Software Engineering is one of the least stressful professions there is. That's one of the reasons it's so desirable and everyone's trying to learn how to code. Because if you can code well, (or do any of the other myriad things that come with software engineering well), then you have it made. Your profession is in high demand, is not very stressful, and pays well. Jackpot.
Are you a millennial or something?
Wha---software engineer? I thought we were talking about a doctor, or an airplane mechanic or something. Heck, I work in the legal industry, specifically litigation. Talk about "attention to detail"...something going awry or one missed deadline ......
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