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I have a co-worker who is having his first baby in a few months, and he's terrified about the prospect of the lack of sleep. Our job requires meticulous attention to detail, so it's a very real possibility that if he doesn't get a full night's sleep he could screw something up very badly and lose his job (has happened before when a co-worker wasn't getting sleep due to an infant not letting him sleep).
He's stressing out because he thinks he's going to ruin his entire career due to the lack of sleep. He has no family nearby who can help.
Surely there is another way? Could he get a nanny for 10 pm to 6 am five nights a week just so he can get some decent sleep? How often do people do this? Anyone know what the cost of something like that would be for an infant under the age of six months?
Is he a single parent? If not, he can do what some husbands & fathers have been doing for hundreds of years-----he can let his wife, the baby's mother, handle all the night time child care.
Where my son lives a typical nanny costs at least $15 an hour during the day. Frankly, I suspect that hiring someone for the night shift would be much more expensive, as most women, who work as a nanny, want to be home with their own children at night or want to go out or socialize at night if they are childless.
Perhaps, if it is a real problem he can sleep in a motel a couple of nights a week.
Frankly, if he can afford it he could do a variety of different things (hire someone to work for them, sleep in a motel, or buy a bigger house so he won't hear any crying from his bedroom).
What does his wife do for a living? Is it OK if she doesn't get any sleep? What does she think about hiring an overnight nanny?
BTW, excluding very, very, very wealthy people I doubt if hardly anyone hires a "night nurse" or night time nanny. But, if you can afford to do it, why not?
Last edited by germaine2626; 04-19-2016 at 06:02 PM..
Well, presumably he has a spouse to help. Some fathers take some time off as paternity leave to help with the adjustment. But to be perfectly honest, he won't get through 18 years of parenthood without losing some sleep.
Last edited by maciesmom; 04-19-2016 at 06:15 PM..
Is he a single parent? If not, he can do what some husbands & fathers have been doing for hundreds of years-----he can let his wife, the baby's mother, handle all the night time child care.
Where my son lives a typical nanny costs at least $15 an hour during the day. Frankly, I suspect that hiring someone for the night shift would be much more expensive, as most women, who work as a nanny, want to be home with their own children at night or want to go out or socialize at night if they are childless.
Perhaps, if it is a real problem he can sleep in a motel a couple of nights a week.
Frankly, if he can afford it he could do a variety of different things (hire someone to work for them, sleep in a motel, or buy a bigger house so he won't hear any crying from his bedroom).
What does his wife do for a living? Is it OK if she doesn't get any sleep? What does she think about hiring an overnight nanny?
BTW, excluding very, very, very wealthy people I doubt if hardly anyone hires a "night nurse" or night time nanny. But, if you can afford to do it, why not?
He has a wife, but she is going to be a stay at home mom for a few years until the child is school aged. He is upper middle class, so he certainly could afford $15/hour 40 hours a week.
I know when my kids were younger, my wife was able to let me get sleep so I could function at my job, but it seems like there's more pressure on husbands these days to be an active participant in the parenting process, even when the children are infants. Most new parents I know seem to just be exhausted all the time, even the men. I was never that exhausted, because my wife let me sleep.
Exactly. Fathers have been dealing with a lack of sleep for eons, just as new mothers have. He'll survive.
That's debatable. More than one person has lost their job where I work due to mistakes made due to lack of sleep, often caused by young children. It's a big problem in tech actually, and I suspect is a reason why many companies don't like to hire people with children - people without young children are able to focus better. Few people could survive in my department on less than 5 hours of sleep, consistently. For me, I need a good 7 at least.
He has a wife, but she is going to be a stay at home mom for a few years until the child is school aged. He is upper middle class, so he certainly could afford $15/hour 40 hours a week.
I know when my kids were younger, my wife was able to let me get sleep so I could function at my job, but it seems like there's more pressure on husbands these days to be an active participant in the parenting process, even when the children are infants. Most new parents I know seem to just be exhausted all the time, even the men. I was never that exhausted, because my wife let me sleep.
Does he have a paternity leave? One of my male relatives just went back to work half time, for a month, after a four week full time paid paternity leave. At my former job, men could use their accumulated sick days for up to six weeks of paternity leave. While very few men did that it was something that was in the contract. Since the first weeks are usually the hardest maybe that is something for your co-worker to consider.
If he can afford it, yes he should hire someone to help. Keep in mind that it would be virtually impossible (I believe) to hire a "wet nurse" so his wife will still need to get up during the night to breastfeeding their baby.
My next door neighbors friend had twins last summer. Her friends went in and got her a night nanny. I think they paid for 3 months. I'll ask how much they paid the nanny. Just as an FYI to some of the responses some women can't or choose not to breastfeed for whatever reason.
Does he have a paternity leave? One of my male relatives just went back to work half time, for a month, after a four week full time paid paternity leave. At my former job, men could use their accumulated sick days for up to six weeks of paternity leave. While very few men did that it was something that was in the contract. Since the first weeks are usually the hardest maybe that is something for your co-worker to consider.
If he can afford it, yes he should hire someone to help. Keep in mind that it would be virtually impossible (I believe) to hire a "wet nurse" so his wife will still need to get up during the night to breastfeeding their baby.
No paternity leave, unfortunately. My kids took almost a full year before they started sleeping through the night consistently, however, so I'm not sure how much good four weeks of paternity leave would do. The first few weeks certainly are the hardest, however. Even teenagers are easier than that!
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