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Here is an update on Facebook from the parent: I will post part of the info....and not a link to her page. Her name if interested can be found in the story.
Now, thanks to "Concerned Citizen", I have had an intake worker come to my house, have an "interview" with me. Asking me how we discipline our children, if we drink or do drugs, if we have support if we have enough money! Then she had to check to see where my kids sleep, and to make sure we had enough food in the house! How embarrassing, and degrading for me. I am a good parent. My kids are well taken care of. The worker is also going to go talk to my kids at their school. So now the school will know that we are dealing with CFS. All because I let my kids play outside!
Now, do I blame the intake worker? No, she is just doing her job. But I do blame how they go about taking concerns. Seems to me that anybody can make any complaint for any reason and they will open a file on that family! So a neighbor doesn't like you, make a complaint. If someone doesn't like how you raise your children, they can make a complaint. Now I am all for people watching out for abuse and neglect, but I really want to know how my kids playing outside warrants a checkup? Did you even see if my kids are ok? Did you even check if I was home. No you just assumed and now my family is paying for it!
Now my family will have a CFS file for the rest of our lives. Even though this one will be closed, it will always be there. According to the intake worker, any child under 12 shouldn't be unsupervised. So I guess all you parents that let your kids walk to school, you might get a visit from cfs. Also if you let your kids go to the park, or walk to their friends house. All of that is supposedly wrong, (even though it is NOT against the law)
I know some people will agree that you shouldn't let your kids play outside without you, and that is you're own decision. Why is all of our parenting decisions being taken away from us? I teach my kids stranger danger. I teach them what to do if anyone comes up to them. I don't let my 5 year old go anywhere by herself, but she is more than welcome to play in our fenced backyard if she wants, even without me! Now my 10 year old can go to the park with his friends, he can walk to his friends house, and I let him and his 5 year old sister walk to school by themselves. I feel comfortable letting them do this. I trust my kids, and I know you can't trust everybody, but I feel pretty secure in my neighbourhood. They are my children, and I will raise them as I see fit. I do not want my kids to be terrified to go outside with out me. I'm teaching them to be independent, and to have at least some of the freedom that I had as a kid.
So next time you want to be a "Concerned Citizen", can you please make sure you have your facts straight before turning someone's life upside down? And, CFS, I think you need to handle complaints a little differently. I know you need to check up on concerns, but really? Kids playing outside in a fenced yard should not be a concern.
So all my friends out there with school aged kids, I really hope this never happens to you. I'm terrified to let my kids do anything now, but I will keep doing what we always do cause we did nothing wrong. I just want you all to be aware how easily this could happen to anyone.
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To "Concerned Citizen",Sometime in the past few weeks you either walked by my house, drove by my house or maybe you're a neighbor and you noticed my children playing in my FENCED backyard. I don't know if you watched for bit, or you just noticed for a minute, but you realized that you didn't see me or my husband around. Now I have no idea what went on inside your head when you saw some kids playing in a yard. Me, personally, I would've thought, how nice that kids are actually outside playing and enjoying the weather after a long winter. But you, you decided that because you couldn't see me (I have a huge yard and windows looking over my backyard) you assumed that my children were neglected. You called CFS and made a complaint about my children's well being. Why? Because they were enjoying the outdoors? They weren't in any distress. They were playing nicely with each other. Oh an by the way, did you know that they are 10 years old and 5 years old. That they know not to talk to strangers, and that they should and do feel safe in their own backyard? If you can't see me, maybe I ran inside for a bit. Maybe I'm sitting on my deck where you can't see from the front. Or maybe I'm inside making dinner or taking care of my 18 month old. I trust my kids in their own yard. If they don't feel safe, they can come in at any time. I'm also constantly checking up on them.
I have seen on here people who are both critical of helicopter parents but then demand that parents be helicopters...many times. Many people. I have been criticized in person for not being helicopter enough (OMG! I let my son use a public bathroom by himself, what have I done). And I feel pressure to helicopter more then I want to.
Calling CPS because children are playing in a fenced in back yard?!
Any thoughts?
It was in Canada. And we really don't know the details. But even here, it's perfectly possible for someone to make a false or silly report to CPS or whatever organization is in charge and then they have to go out and investigate, even if there is nothing amiss. It happens often during custody disputes and even more often when the ex doesn't like the new bf or gf. That's not new - I remember it happening plenty over 20 years ago.
I'm closer to the free range end of the spectrum. I consider most of my friends helicopter parents. My 5 and 6 year olds play in our unfenced yard (front, back and sides) by themselves all the time. They have for a few years. We live in the country on a few acres. They love exploring in the woods finding frogs, snakes and bugs. They use public restrooms by themselves both in town and in places we're not familiar with. They know to look for cars. I don't need to hold their hands all the time. I let them explore different aisles in the store. I'll send them back to get a different bag of grapes or whatever while waiting in line for the cashier.
I find the American public to be quite paranoid and it annoys me. I choose not to live in a state of fear but there is tremendous pressure to hover at all times.
Looks like yet another case of a busybody trying to be a "hero"!!! The world is full of such "heroes" who oddly, enough, go after the softest targets possible. I assure you if the mother lived in your typical American hell-hole urban warzone, I highly doubt that this "hero" would've had the grapes to go after her!!
I consider us middle of the spectrum.. Not truly helicopter but not free range either. For instance, looked for a house with a fenced in back yard and my kids play 6 and under kids play outside on their own with us inside the house but i can see them from the window. They have been taught not to ever open the gate that goes outside to the front. We walk to school with them but they ride ahead on scooters or bikes and wait for us at the end of the road and not cross. They know never to leave to their 4 year old sibling alone and ride off. Depending on where, like a restaurant where the restroom is inside vs a gas station, they can go alone and know to wipe the seats and put the paper cover where available.
My 6 year olds make their beds every day and pick up their laundry. On laundry day, they know how to load the washer. They can pack / make their school lunch for the next day and will rinse out their used dishes. They go grocery shopping and know to go to other aisles to get items on the list or run back to get an item that i forgot when I'm at the cashier line. They know to scream at the top of their voices if a stranger is trying to drag them off anywhere. They also know to stand where they are if a stranger stops their car and ask them to come closer.
On the other end, I would never let my kids play outside in the backyard if our yard wasnt fenced and I certainly wont let my kids at this age walk to school without an adult even though they pretend we are not together when we walk to school :-)
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