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So...you would rather many children be left in abusive homes then to have to potentially deal with CPS? Wow...not that I am surprised. But wow.
I am saying "there's a balance, figure it out." I have the RIGHT, yes the RIGHT, to not be inconvenienced by CPS drama, have to explain how I parent MY children to people I've never met and have no use for, and have something like this hanging over my head as "history" should someone else decide they hate how I parent MY children. Am I saying that it's just as important for all decent parents to have this autonomy as it is for a child to not be abused? Yes I am, you better believe it.
There is a way to prosecute those who deserve it without trampling all over everyone else in the process. Figure it out.
What? Am I misreading? If you are claiming you sent a 12 year old on a flight out of the country with no adults period I call BS. When my mother took my brother and I to vacation in Mexico back in the 80s soon after my father had died she had to provide a death certificate because my brother was under 18.
Editing to ask, you mean he flew with no adults? I sent my kid on a flight without an adult. Confused by the post.
My sister and I flew from Ohio to California by ourselves when were about 12 and 13.
I hope when my kids are in jr high/high school we'll be able to send them to foreign countries in exchange programs or other fun shenanigans. Obviously there would be adults involved in that scenario. I've found summer volunteer camps for teens in remote areas of the US and some foreign countries. Sounds great.
I am saying "there's a balance, figure it out." I have the RIGHT, yes the RIGHT, to not be inconvenienced by CPS drama, have to explain how I parent MY children to people I've never met and have no use for, and have something like this hanging over my head as "history" should someone else decide they hate how I parent MY children. Am I saying that it's just as important for all decent parents to have this autonomy as it is for a child to not be abused? Yes I am, you better believe it.
There is a way to prosecute those who deserve it without trampling all over everyone else in the process. Figure it out.
With our mobile society if you have not given your neighbor your number, there is almost no way for them to call you. It's not like you can look them up in the phone book, (Even if you knew there last name). Most people have gone Cell only now and are not listed.
Also LandLine phone companies to save money don't even make the "WhitePages" anymore.
Not true. I can easily call on a neighbor or even mom in the Kroger parking lot. "Flyonpa lives on Elm Street i think and i saw her children out with guns" They can cross check with other systems. ( child support, medicaid, employment history, etc)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
How about knocking on the door or talking over the fence?
Yeah right. Thats too easy and would mean a possible confrontation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eok
Is it really true that having this on their record makes them more vulnerable to future complaints? I would think it would be the opposite. A future complaint investigator might notice that the only complaint on their record was unsubstantiated, and decide to have a long phone call with the complainer about the details, instead of investigating in person.
Yes its really true. A future investigator does not care if past was unfounded, just that there is a history.
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CPS think they are above the law. The woman this story is about should have told the investigator to get a warrant and come back. Even with a "concern" they cant just show up and enter your home any more than police. So many people think " I have nothing to hide, so ill cooperate". NO, NO NO. Dont let them walk over you. Make THEM investigate and get evidence and do the legwork- dont feed them info they dont need or have!
What? Am I misreading? If you are claiming you sent a 12 year old on a flight out of the country with no adults period I call BS. When my mother took my brother and I to vacation in Mexico back in the 80s soon after my father had died she had to provide a death certificate because my brother was under 18.
Editing to ask, you mean he flew with no adults? I sent my kid on a flight without an adult. Confused by the post.
You can easily fly out of the country as a child without an adult. You just need an affidavit from the parents, not a big deal at all. I flew to Europe at 16 with a friend and my 12yr old is meeting my parents in Asia this summer and flying alone. Your mom needed a death certificate because you're not allowed to travel internationally with children without both parents permission.
My sister and I flew from Ohio to California by ourselves when were about 12 and 13.
I hope when my kids are in jr high/high school we'll be able to send them to foreign countries in exchange programs or other fun shenanigans. Obviously there would be adults involved in that scenario. I've found summer volunteer camps for teens in remote areas of the US and some foreign countries. Sounds great.
I did get a dm from that poster, apologizing for the tone of her response. I just want to put that out there.
But yes, I let my 12 yr old fly from FL to British Columbia, via Seattle, without any adults. And he spent a week skiing the glaciers with some college guys who advertised in a ski magazine he subscribed to. He wanted to go, his friend wanted to go, and the four parents involved couldn't think of a good reason to say no. He had a great time, as did my other sons when they also went off to foreign lands on their own.
I think it's much harder on the adults waving goodbye, than on the kids who get a chance to test their mettle.
But, that isn't the gist of this thread, so I apologize for letting it get off-track.
I am saying "there's a balance, figure it out." I have the RIGHT, yes the RIGHT, to not be inconvenienced by CPS drama, have to explain how I parent MY children to people I've never met and have no use for, and have something like this hanging over my head as "history" should someone else decide they hate how I parent MY children. Am I saying that it's just as important for all decent parents to have this autonomy as it is for a child to not be abused? Yes I am, you better believe it.
There is a way to prosecute those who deserve it without trampling all over everyone else in the process. Figure it out.
So where would you find the balance? I'm interested in your response, as I have never given CPS a thought.
I have seen on here people who are both critical of helicopter parents but then demand that parents be helicopters...many times. Many people. I have been criticized in person for not being helicopter enough (OMG! I let my son use a public bathroom by himself, what have I done). And I feel pressure to helicopter more then I want to.
Calling CPS because children are playing in a fenced in back yard?!
Any thoughts?
This happened in Canada. They may have different laws than the US. The 2 older children I don't see as a problem playing by themselves outside. However, I do see an issue with a 2 year old being outside without adult supervision. I know my nephew did some amazing climbing when he was 2-3 years old. Got hurt frequently, too.
In today's day and age, I'm not sure it's really safe to let kids outside unless there's a 6 foot fence and it has a lock that some perv can't open from the outside. There's so many creepy freaks out there nowadays and they seem proud of it.
I have seen on here people who are both critical of helicopter parents but then demand that parents be helicopters...many times. Many people. I have been criticized in person for not being helicopter enough (OMG! I let my son use a public bathroom by himself, what have I done). And I feel pressure to helicopter more then I want to.
Calling CPS because children are playing in a fenced in back yard?!
Any thoughts?
We have no idea what triggered that call, literally nothing at all. If the two year old or five year old told a teacher they play outside alone afterschool, that can trigger a call from a court mandated reporter. And then exactly what should happen, did happen. The experts spoke to the parents, and the case was closed.
But all we have is mom's side, no more no less. All the mom's (and blog writer's) histrionics do nothing beyond fan the flames of a debate that should just be a conversation. It is easier to relate to people without the soap box.
I also wondered if there was more to it. But the next step would be contacting the parents, not CPS.
Depends on who it was. In the US many people are court mandated reporters. Usually people who have the most contact with children. Why? So that those with expert training are making the decisions about what is or is not going on.
As a private citizen, if you want to contact the parents, go ahead. But no one is obligated to talk to the parents directly AND they need have nothing more than a concern to contact CPS. That is literally what they are for.
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