Problem with my 16yo daughter, turning 17 in 2 wks.

[MainStreet]

Thank you both for your kind words and encouragement. It's nice to hear regarese's perspective from the other side of a divorce.

[Sampaguita]

Just read about your conversation with the SM. That is terrific that you & she are on the same page about your daughter. Hopefully, you're united front will put your daughter back on track. Best of luck!

[MainStreet]

A revelation....my daughter's blood work came back today and she is hypothyroid. This explains a lot, the moods, the no energy, the sleeping, her weight, everything.

The irony of this is I was diagnosed with Grave's Disease (hyperthyroidism) and had my thyroid radiated (destroyed) in 2002 and am now, technically hypothyroid.

Her stepmother was diagnosed with Grave's Disease shortly after I was (our neighbor had it too and we all agree it has to be the water) and had her thyroid removed and is now hypothyroid.

Both her mom's are experts on this. She starts her synthetic thyroid meds tomorrow morning and I know, someone as young as she is will have wonderful results and I believe with the right nutrition and activity, there is still hope her thyroid will recover.

We had always suspected something like this because she has not changed physically in two years; she still looks like she is 14yo, very baby faced and baby bodied.

So I'm taking this as very good news, that there is an explanation and she is about to feel soooo much better.

Thanks again for everyone's support and advise.

[regarese]

It sounds odd to say, but I guess that's good news, right? LOL. Now you have something to explain the odd behavior.

On a funny note-your poor kid can't catch a "break" can she. LOL. Her mom and step-mom work together to raise her as a well adjusted kid, and now she's diagnosed with something that both of you are very familiar with so she won't be able to get over on either one of you. No disrespect intended, it just makes me chuckle a little. Good luck with her treatment!!!

[nic529]

Wow - see - you do know her as well as you thought. Follow your instincts MainStreet......they're really good for parenting teenage girls.

Good luck. Thanks for letting us know.

[Marlow]

Sorry about the diagnosis but at least it goes a long way to explaining what she's been going through. Good luck to all of you with the treatment!

[kidyankee784]

Originally Posted by vvincelli

I feel the need to politely interject here.

This could very well be a simple case of teenage rebeiliousness. It may have nothing at all to do with drugs.

However, I must politely disagree with some of the opinions posted that testing your children for drugs is not worth the loss of trust it engenders.

Simply put, kids LIE about drug use. It is a proven fact that kids are EXTREMELY GOOD at hiding drug use from their parents up until the formation of an active addiction (addiction is what causes the warning signs most parents are told to look for...).

Sitting your kids down to talk about drug use is a very good thing. However, don't ever make the mistake of assuming that your child is going to tell you they are using drugs. I don't care how much you love your kids or how much they love you, history proves that the odds of them coming clean to you about drug use are slim to none. Why? Because the vast majority of children (even those who become rebellious) do not want to dissappoint their parents. History also proves that the parents of teens who develop an active addiction had no forewarning and no knowledge of drug use until the child was an addict.

Folks, I know what I'm talking about here. PLEASE believe that. Don't fool yourself and get caught up in the nightmare of having a child become an addict. Carol O'Connor (best known as Archie Bunker) put it best - "get between your kids and drugs ANY WAY YOU CAN".
Moderator cut: advertising not allowed

Please DO NOT think for an instant that I am using this thread solely to promote my company. My main reason for replying to this thread was the whole "don't test your child because you lose their trust" issue. And I can't state it strongly enough; if you are a parent and you believe in this statement you HAVE NEVER dealt with the absolute nightmare of a child becoming an addict. I am NOT saying you are a bad parent or a bad person, only that this one viewpoint is WRONG. Please, if you disregard everything else I've said here, please, I BEG YOU consider this viewpoint very carefully. The stakes are simply too high.

MainStreet - I don't know if drugs have anything to do with your child's current situation. I honestly don't. I would, however, caution you to be very wary about fooling yourself into believing your child can't possibly be using drugs. The problem is that teens who don't fit into the social group they want to fit into often turn to drugs, either as a way to fit in, or as a way to cope. Moderator cut: advertising

Vito

This is an excellent post. I couldn't agree more because sadly, my family has experienced my teenage (at the time) sister battle a horrible addiction. As you said, Vito, nobody knew until she was already an addict. She went from a straight A cheerleader to a D student (who quit the squad) in just a few months. It does happen in good families with responsible and loving parents.

Don't ever assume that your kid is doing drugs, but never rule it out.

[vvincelli]

Mainstreet - Glad to hear that you have more information, and a plan. I think the relationship you've built with the SM is going to be the most important aspect of this. THAT IS WONDERFUL! We should always keep in mind that in this type of situation it is important to partner-up with the SM and act as a team. That is really great to hear.

Kidyankee784 - thanks for the backing. This is an issue I take VERY seriously. I've not only founded a company to battle it (I won't mention anything further about the company as it got cut due to 'advertising' when I made a free offer to try to help - what is the world coming to?) but every employee has had the unfortunate distinction of being in this situation.

I did see somone post recommending not to test or check for drugs as it destroys parent / child trust.

This worries me. We are losing the war on drugs, and our kids are the most frequent casualties. My city is littered with addicts. They live in bedrooms that are called apartments. The other 'apartments' are filled with other addicts.

Folks, this is not make believe. These people were not cloned. They came from families. The VAST majority of them were addicts by age 18.

PLEASE, don't bury your head in the sand. PLEASE do something, anything to keep your kid from ending up like this. Trust? It might hurt the parent / child relationship? PLEASE don't let this false assumption fool you.

Your job as a parent is NOT to be their best-friend. It is to protect them from bad decisions for as long as you possibly can. Folks, we're fighting for time. Time. THAT is our goal. We're fighting to keep them from messing up their lives until they've matured enough to stand on their own feet. THAT is it. THAT is our job. If you are more concerned about having your kid trust you then I politely, and humbly ask you to re-explore your decisions. They will love you later on in life. When they're 25 and have built their own life, they WILL look back and say "You know? My parents did a good job getting me to this point". Before they get there, our job is to STAND BETWEEN THEM AND DANGER - not make sure they know we love them. Our kids knowledge that we love and trust them doesn't do much good when they're in jail, in a grave, or (more likely) living in a bedroom which is called an apartment.

Please, I BEG you, don't let this happen to you. Do ANYTHING you can to prevent it. It will not only destroy your child's life, it WILL destroy your entire family. Let them trust and love you AFTER you've gotten them on their feet.

Vito J. Vincelli

[CFCBLUE77]

Wow