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Old 06-02-2016, 05:44 AM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,136,811 times
Reputation: 17797

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Quote:
Originally Posted by emeraldmist View Post
Honestly, it's shocking to see how little compassion some people have. Girl puts herself out there and some people say to give the child up for adoption, others reinforce how much in the minority she is. Color me surprised.
I am not understanding what is so horrible about suggesting adoption. People here are giving great advice for her to keep her baby. But it is not outside the bound of reason to think about what is in the best interest of the child. Just assuming that is the best idea is probably the most offensive thing about these posters. But measuring the pros and cons of both, for the baby, does not seem like an off the charts idea to me.
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Old 06-02-2016, 03:42 PM
 
Location: usa
1,001 posts, read 1,091,182 times
Reputation: 815
I don't have much advice to offer other than find a women's shelter and apply for WIC, housing, etc etc. I hope things turn around for you.
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Old 06-03-2016, 12:43 PM
 
Location: Wethersfield, CT
1,273 posts, read 4,149,378 times
Reputation: 907
I had my oldest when I was 19. I got pregnant right after graduating high school. I was also kicked out by my father. I ended up living in transitional housing for single mothers for a little over a year. They helped me go to college and even helped me get my first apartment. I'm 43 now. My oldest is 24. Some days were harder than others, but I survived. I managed to finish my degree (although it took longer) while working full time.

See if there are any local support groups for single mothers and take advantage of any and everything available to you.
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Old 06-03-2016, 03:37 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,687 posts, read 19,833,013 times
Reputation: 42955
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBeam33 View Post
I was you 20+ years ago. Ignore anyone telling you to give that baby up for adoption - he is yours and you have already shown your dedication to him.

He is yours? This baby is not an object and sometimes, dedication isn't enough.


A baby is not supposed to live in a car.


Adoption sounds like the best option FOR THE BABY.


Keeping it sounds like the best option FOR THE mother.


I am not cruel, just realistic. This baby could have a loving family who provides food and shelter and care. Not the constant worry where to stay overnight, breast milk from its mom who probably eats cheap food, and what about illnesses? Babies need more than a young mother with no money and no support system, hardly even able to feed herself.
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Old 06-03-2016, 05:44 PM
 
13,976 posts, read 25,847,663 times
Reputation: 39857
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
He is yours? This baby is not an object and sometimes, dedication isn't enough.


A baby is not supposed to live in a car.


Adoption sounds like the best option FOR THE BABY.


Keeping it sounds like the best option FOR THE mother.


I am not cruel, just realistic. This baby could have a loving family who provides food and shelter and care. Not the constant worry where to stay overnight, breast milk from its mom who probably eats cheap food, and what about illnesses? Babies need more than a young mother with no money and no support system, hardly even able to feed herself.
The OP didn't ask for opinions on whether or not she should keep the baby she loves. I'm sure she's well aware that adoption is a possibility should she opt to go that route, but she hasn't. There is help out there, so there is no reason to badger her. Babies need food, shelter, love, and medical care. None of that is impossible for the OP.
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Old 06-04-2016, 01:25 AM
 
Location: Anchorage
836 posts, read 1,772,540 times
Reputation: 887
Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
I am not cruel, just realistic. This baby could have a loving family who provides food and shelter and care.
Are you 100% sure it would get adopted?
But, even more, can you be sure that this new family would be loving and providing and wonderful in every way? What if the NEW father dies and the new mother ends up alone with 3 kids?
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Old 06-04-2016, 08:58 AM
 
772 posts, read 908,690 times
Reputation: 1500
Quote:
Originally Posted by Young mom View Post
Okay this will be long sorry in advance. I am 18 and a new mother to a beautiful baby boy. Unfortunately I don't have much of a support system and have been struggling to survive. When I got pregnant at 17 my mother viewed it as a source of shame. She is one of those that likes to show the appearance of everything being okay. When I told her I was pregnant she yelled at me saying "do you know how this makes me look?" and told me never to tell friends or family.

When I started to show she made me wear baggy clothes and other things to cover it up. I should probably also mention she is an alcoholic. I had to find out everything about pregnancy and having a baby online she never wanted to talk about it. While this was going on my child's father committed suicide leaving me with no chance at getting child support. I do have my drivers license and a beat up car fortunately, but she told me after I graduate HS and had my son she wanted me out.

True to her word after graduation and a little over a month of having my son she kicked me out with just what I could put in a suitcase. I had to live out of my car for 3 days and during this whole time I was applying for jobs. I finally found a friend that let me stay in exchange for helping which I don't mind but I still haven't found a job even at McDonald's. My friend has helped with my cell phone bill so that I can still call and apply for jobs I also recently applied for assistance with the government but you know how long that can take.

Fortunately I can breast feed and love doing it and knowing I can take care of my son. I go without a lot and that is fine. But I often feel very depressed and I have called my mother several times but she won't help but I also don't want my son being around her being drunk so often she can get abusive and has hit me on occasion. I know it's not a good environment for me or my son.

Has anyone here experienced being a very young single mom? What did you do to make ends meet?

This is a troll thread ... story is made up.. OP has 2 posts ..

Show me the obituary of the deceased father, as well as his name matching on the birth certificate, as well as explain how you paid for diapers the first 3 days you were living in your car, and I will send you $1,000 to help you with your situation..
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Old 06-08-2016, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Denver CO
24,204 posts, read 19,061,221 times
Reputation: 38266
OP hasn't logged back in since shortly after her second post - probably hasn't even seen the responses here, both helpful and otherwise.
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Old 06-13-2016, 12:37 AM
 
7 posts, read 4,938 times
Reputation: 10
You should ask for financial support from the father. You're young as well so you badly needed a support group. It is just so sad that even your mother cannot give her 100% support to you. By the way guys, I am not up for adoption because she loves her kid wholeheartedly and you will definitely do everything for your kid even if it's hard. Do you have very closest friends or relatives to help you?
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