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My 19 month old niece is terribly shy. My brother says she's loud and runs around the house when she's at home and she'll play with other kids. But when she's around other adults, she gets painfully shy. We had breakfast with her the other day and she wouldn't even look at us (everyone but my brother). I sat with her in the backseat to play with her but she just looked bored and grumpy the entire time. My mom sees her about every two weeks and she's still closed off to my family. When we're around she'll cling onto my brother and he can't even put her down. I hung out with them the whole day and I didn't see her smile or make a peep the entire time unless I wasn't around to see or hear it while my brother played with her. I asked what would happen if my brother put her down and let her cry. I don't know if that might be a bad thing since you don't want your kid to not trust you to be there for them at a young age. From what I hear she's very stubborn and has a bad temper.
My mom thinks my brother and his gf doesn't take my niece out enough and doesn't interact or read to her. I hear my niece's mom puts Sesame Street on the entire day and leaves her alone with the TV. She doesn't read to her, sing to her, play with her, take her to story time or the park.
I'm not the parent so there isn't much I can do. I'm wondering if my niece will grow out of this extreme shyness? I'm a bit worried about her if she doesn't grow out of it. Maybe she'll grow out of it when she's in school (dear God I hope the mom doesn't decide to home school her) and interact with teachers. The only thing I can do is try and understand her situation. Any insight is welcomed.
I don't know why but I just don't care for the word "shy". I would refer to my son as "reserved". Not every kid/person is an extrovert--some are introverts and that is okay. People would always make a huge deal about my son being quiet. I was very much like my son growing up. I absolutely disliked it when people brought it up. I would smile and say he will be okay. What I really wanted to say is myob.
fyi--my son is 30 now and he is just fine.
Yes, I think she will grow out of it. Don't force her out of her shell, it will just make things worse.
Okay, it's not a bad thing to be shy. I can be pretty shy. What is concerning is how she seemed grumpy the entire time. I couldn't tell if it was because she is shy or if she doesn't like us. My mom is convinced she doesn't like her and is worried that she's not laughing and smiling like most toddlers. I think my mom is just concerned my niece will grow up to be rude and closed off. Every time I see my niece she seems unhappy but maybe she's just shy. I can't tell ya know?
Last edited by Gabriella Geramia; 06-03-2016 at 02:31 AM..
My 19 month old niece is terribly shy. My brother says she's loud and runs around the house when she's at home and she'll play with other kids. But when she's around other adults, she gets painfully shy. We had breakfast with her the other day and she wouldn't even look at us (everyone but my brother). I sat with her in the backseat to play with her but she just looked bored and grumpy the entire time. My mom sees her about every two weeks and she's still closed off to my family. When we're around she'll cling onto my brother and he can't even put her down. I hung out with them the whole day and I didn't see her smile or make a peep the entire time unless I wasn't around to see or hear it while my brother played with her. I asked what would happen if my brother put her down and let her cry. I don't know if that might be a bad thing since you don't want your kid to not trust you to be there for them at a young age. From what I hear she's very stubborn and has a bad temper.
My mom thinks my brother and his gf doesn't take my niece out enough and doesn't interact or read to her. I hear my niece's mom puts Sesame Street on the entire day and leaves her alone with the TV. She doesn't read to her, sing to her, play with her, take her to story time or the park.
I'm not the parent so there isn't much I can do. I'm wondering if my niece will grow out of this extreme shyness? I'm a bit worried about her if she doesn't grow out of it. Maybe she'll grow out of it when she's in school (dear God I hope the mom doesn't decide to home school her) and interact with teachers. The only thing I can do is try and understand her situation. Any insight is welcomed.
There is nothing special for you to understand she is 19 months old kid as all other kids. The best thing you can do stop assuming things and judge and spray the negativity. There is no IF this or IF that. You live your life and let them to live theirs.
19 month olds very commonly have high amounts of separation anxiety and stranger anxiety. Clingy toddlers are normal. A shy 19 month old who is grumpy with strangers is not something that sends up my "worry" flag. Especially if they are active and playful at home and with other kids.
At this age, things that send up worry flags are things like not talking at all or very few words, trouble with motor skills, or trouble with making eye contact or relating to caregivers (such as mom or dad). If you see any of those sorts of things, it might be worth bringing it up to mom and seeing what she says. They screen for those at well visits with the pediatrician too. But shyness and grumpiness? Nah, that's fine.
I think this is the best description: "Unlike introverts, who feel energized by time alone, shy people often desperately want to connect with others, but don't know how or can't tolerate the anxiety that comes with human interaction." - https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/shyness
I think this is the best description: "Unlike introverts, who feel energized by time alone, shy people often desperately want to connect with others, but don't know how or can't tolerate the anxiety that comes with human interaction." - https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/shyness
Sounds like social anxiety.
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