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Well, how far does one want it to go. I don't mean at school but in life?
For me, hand to hand is my history, it is part of my professional skills, and like a gun, it is not something to be used unless I am prepared to kill someone.....so it better be a pretty serious reason to resort to it.
It did take me a while to learn that. At 18, I was arguing with another midshipman and decided to prove to him that it was useless to fight me. We were caught, faced charges for fighting which could have gotten us tossed out, but the Company Commander just charged us 10 demerits (the max we could have for a month before restriction) for "carelessness", a charge we could not appeal (if we were smart).
We are in a state of mind right now as a country where we are not accepting that "boys will be boys". Well, if we are not accepting that, then should we really accept that "children will be children"?
He probably deserved it but hitting back is probably not the answer when there are other methods to handle it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Finger Laker
Goodness.
With her martial arts training does she have to register her hands as a deadly weapon and provide proper notice wherever she goes?
That is one of the liabilities one needs to be aware of.
I'm a very well trained judoka, I was the state champion of Texas when I was in my teens. I have been trained in hand to hand by the Army, the Marines, the FBI, and the USMS (at least) and I have trained anti terrorism police troops.
I don't think my hands are deadly weapons but I am quite aware that if I am ever on trial, the opposing lawyer will use my impressive history against me.
As far as whether I am actually deadly in fight, if it comes down to it, the mindset is to put the other person in the hospital....and it is up to the Fates whether it is the ER or the morgue.
One other thing. I don't recall what we were talking about that would bring such a statement out of my father but around 16, he told me that if I seriously misbehaved, he would have to come after me with a baseball bat because my skills were so excellent. By then, I had been doing judo for 6 years at least.
When one is so trained, it is no longer a "simple punch in the nose".
Last edited by TamaraSavannah; 06-10-2016 at 07:02 AM..
I disagree. There's a discipline problem because, when two kids get into a fight, a large group of adults - the school bureaucracy, the police, lawyers, and so on - stands to profit from escalating it into two criminal cases and potentially ruining both kids lives well into their 20s. What the boy did was stupid and he deserved to be slugged. Good for her. Now drop it.
Sounds like talk radio conspiracy paranoia from someone who hasn't even been inside a school in decades.
I haven't read all the posts but hopefully the cad was suspended too and I bet next time he'll keep his grubby hands to himself.
Oh, and btw, if he were my son and I was in the principal's office, I would have him apologize to the girl for what he did and when we got home, punish his arse.
So I have given this some thought. If I were this OP, I would do the following. I would go through this thread and list down the things that I thought were good considerations. Not necessarily RIGHT but good conversation points. Things like police vs no police. (That ship may have sailed, but from a learning opportunity standpoint...) Things like appropriate level of reaction vs too violent of a reaction. Did any of you see Ender's Game where Ender said he wanted to end not just the current fight but all future fights? She might be thinking that. In which case the teacher who pointed out escalation might be a point to consider. Anyway I would lay out my thoughts based on the feedback given here and
when they were 10 years old, my son was punched by another kid in his class, who was a known behavioral problem, but it was a private school and his dad was a coach and his family were donors. He hit him hard enough that he bounced off a brick wall. It was the latest in a series of harrassments -- each year, the boy chose a scapegoat, and that year, it was my son. I discovered that he had been tripping him, hitting him in the back of the head to make him lose his glasses, shoving him in line, etc. My son has always been big for his age -- tallest kid, etc. -- and it had been drummed into him that if he got into a fight, it was almost always going to be thought that it was his fault, because of his size.
The teacher called me that night to ask me if my son was ok, which was good, because my son hadn't mentioned it to me, just that he had "a headache" and wanted to "take a nap." (concussion, anyone?!) i asked what kind of punishment the other kid was getting, and she said she was "thinking" about giving him a demerit, but had decided against it, because there was "no blood, just a bruise." (wtf, lady, do you think a bruise is?!) a doctor neighbor took a look at him and decided that he was ok.
The next morning, i was in the dean's office, inquiring as to what was going to be done to get this bully under control. The dean gave me a little smirk and said, "well, if (your son) were to hit him back, we'd look the other way . . . " wtf! I felt like alice falling down the rabbit hole! I stared at him, and then picked up my cell phone, hit 9-1 and then said, "give me a good reason why i shouldn't hit "1" and have that little cretin arrested for assault and battery right this second?" he paled, and said, "oh, you don't have to go that far!" "apparently i do -- this kid pulls this same s**t every year, to the point that you have run out of classes to put him in, because other parents have demanded that he be kept away from their kids. He hits my son hard enough for a concussion, and yeah, buddy, either you do something about it, or the police can. Your choice." the kid ended up with a two week suspension, and the parents got so mad that they took him out of school and sent him to a special school for emotionally disabled kids -- which was good, because the kid needed help.
So, good on your daughter for standing up for herself. Stand right by her. And insist -- loudly -- that the guy who grabbed her butt serve the same suspension. After all, if he had kept his hands to himself in the first place, none of this would have happened. (doesn't anyone read the news anymore?!) the school is teaching all the girls that if they defend themselves, they are to blame. That is total b.s.
I am SO angry! It's really great I found a parenting forum because I need it. Why is it kids that defend themselves no matter how justifiable get in trouble?? My daughter who is 16 was walking to one of her classes when a boy started heckling her, when she told him to scram (what she said was worse, my daughter isn't afraid to stand up for herself) he grabbed her rear!
Now lots of other girls would be in shock or so surprised they just take it and tell a teacher but not my daughter. She immediately turned around, punched him in the face two times. Now my daughter is 5'10, takes martial arts and even lifts weights as well as other physically demanding things so she can hit pretty hard!
Well before even my daughter could tell what happened the boy (who is part of the football team no less) went straight to the principal so I get a call at work and immediately go up there. And my daughter is there and so is the boy with his mother and he is CRYING and bleeding from his nose! She got him good but was acting like the victim. The principal told me my daughter was suspended for five days and the whole "violence is never acceptable" speech despite HIM grabbing my daughter!
Even the boys mother was giving me real dirty looks. My daughter explained her case and it was obviously self-defense but that didn't seem to matter. Not that I want my daughter to use violence but in that case it was certainly justified.
I took my daughter home and said she was in the right and she wouldn't be in trouble at home.
But again, while I don't advocate violence I am proud of her, proud of her for not just taking it and turning this football player into a cry baby
I still find it absurd my daughter was suspended. I hate this zero tolerance or zero brain approach schools have.
As usual, the flurry of comments saying tha girl is wrong. How different are we than the Arabs or those who oppress women?
And I didn't read any comments the girl was wrong but plenty that said next time consider this or that. (a bit of chest beating and bravado but this is the internet) Most have been proud of her or sympathetic.
She is just a kid and hasn't learned yet. Now she knows.
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