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Just an aside but I have a question for those of you who think it's great that she punched this idiot in the face, twice. If the situation were reversed and a girl in school grabbed a football players butt and then he punched her twice in the face giving her at least a bloody nose would you think it was great of him too?
Because as women, unless we have identical responsibilities in all situations we will not really be equal with men.
Well, how far does one want it to go. I don't mean at school but in life?
For me, hand to hand is my history, it is part of my professional skills, and like a gun, it is not something to be used unless I am prepared to kill someone.....so it better be a pretty serious reason to resort to it.
It did take me a while to learn that. At 18, I was arguing with another midshipman and decided to prove to him that it was useless to fight me. We were caught, faced charges for fighting which could have gotten us tossed out, but the Company Commander just charged us 10 demerits (the max we could have for a month before restriction) for "carelessness", a charge we could not appeal (if we were smart).
We are in a state of mind right now as a country where we are not accepting that "boys will be boys". Well, if we are not accepting that, then should we really accept that "children will be children"?
He probably deserved it but hitting back is probably not the answer when there are other methods to handle it.
That is one of the liabilities one needs to be aware of.
I'm a very well trained judoka, I was the state champion of Texas when I was in my teens. I have been trained in hand to hand by the Army, the Marines, the FBI, and the USMS (at least) and I have trained anti terrorism police troops.
I don't think my hands are deadly weapons but I am quite aware that if I am ever on trial, the opposing lawyer will use my impressive history against me.
As far as whether I am actually deadly in fight, if it comes down to it, the mindset is to put the other person in the hospital....and it is up to the Fates whether it is the ER or the morgue.
One other thing. I don't recall what we were talking about that would bring such a statement out of my father but around 16, he told me that if I seriously misbehaved, he would have to come after me with a baseball bat because my skills were so excellent. By then, I had been doing judo for 6 years at least.
When one is so trained, it is no longer a "simple punch in the nose".
Dude, you are by far the toughest guy on the internet. I'm super impressed.
Just an aside but I have a question for those of you who think it's great that she punched this idiot in the face, twice. If the situation were reversed and a girl in school grabbed a football players butt and then he punched her twice in the face giving her at least a bloody nose would you think it was great of him too?
Because as women, unless we have identical responsibilities in all situations we will not really be equal with men.
This is just my humble opinion. First I don't think it is "great" that she did this. I just think that she had the right to defend herself in this particular situation. If she had never hit him at that moment but rather a day later gathered some of her male friends to beat him up, I would not condone that at all.
I think it's important to take into consideration the entire context before we start changing parts. The fact is women are not equal to men physically. Men have the privilege because of their size to not care about certain things related to their safety because of this. For example, males don't look for other male friends to escort them to their car in a parking lot at night because they worked late, etc.
So, in this particular instance, IMO, there was a threat of further potential imminent harm. There is also an element of instinctual self preservation that has to be considered. I have been grabbed at by men before and I instinctively reacted a certain way similarly to the girl. I was not composed. It is really hard to tell someone to stay composed when something like this happens for obvious reasons.
Now, in your conditional, where is the imminent harm for the male? Now, if your conditional adds that the woman was 6'2" and the guy was 5'2", then yes, I would have no problems with the male defending himself.
I love the looks on the faces of those boys my daughter blows away on the track or in the gym.
And, for the most part, these boys handle it like the awsome kids they are; a little red-faced with a "dang, girl!" & a high-five.
I am afraid, however, that she will make the same mistake I did:
Thinking that athletic prowess ensured me a fighting chance in a 1:1 sustained fight for my life against a grown man for whom my humiliation & possible death was not only his desired outcome but his motive as well.
Have you ever fought a grown man? Not on a mat & not in a ring, but trapped inside a house in which the power & landline had been intentionally disabled?
After the "Hi-yah-karate-chop!" attempt left me laying on the floor holding my injured skull, I made a decision to change my tactic & that is what saved my life.
I smiled at him, at his awful face, I smiled at him & I said "I do believe your right.." (or something like that, what is on the police report is that or something similar).
I'm not afraid (well, maybe just a little) to say that yes, I was "violated" (HIS shame, NOT mine).
But I'm ALIVE. So are the two children who were asleep upstairs when this happened (in 1998).
What I WAS trying to say is that the OP's daughter didn't really "win" a fight, to reinforce this pseudo-invunerability (not sure this is a word) with a "You go; girl!" response IS dangerous.
The boy (that's what he was, you know, a BOY) didn't hit her back! And if he would have, they were in a populated, controlled location, it's doubtful that she was in for the fight of her life.
My 14 yr old healthy, strong & athletically superior daughter is in danger because she still debates me on this. My child thinks she will win every fight, but I know she can't (no, she doesn't know my story, yet).
Oh, & those movies where Eva Mendez's character is busting the bad guys in her crop-tops & booty shorts? NOT HELPING! Thats not how it's going to go down..I wish it was but it's just not.
OP, forgive me, I forgot to mention that your daughter does deserve for you to be proud of her because she did demonstrate a survivor's instinct. Of course you don't want to worry that your child will just fold & roll over any time conflict arises!
I got a little emotionally involved with my opinion of these types of matters because it does hit close to home. I could very well be the next mom who starts a thread about MY daughter finding herself in a similar situation.
(Actually, this happened: This boy at school was pestering her & crossed the line by slapping her on her rear. She didn't even tell me or the principal, her twin sister ended up going to the principal to report it! When the boy & his father were summoned to the school office the kid acted surprised that it was being taken seriously. He actually said "I thought we were were closer than this!". The principal flatly replied "Well, your not."!)
I'm sorry, I won't be checking back on this thread for a few..I need to practice some deep-breathing exercises or at least find some chocolate or something & then I'll be back.
Wait, what? Women shouldn't defend themselves against sexual assault or do better at sports than men?
Not quite that but rather, one does what it is necessary to get out of the situation. I'll jump to the pass before the points.
I was told the story once of a woman who was doing pretty well against a guy with her hand to hand.....until one of his friends shot her.
A: Her better at sports comment may have been right or may have been wrong. One of the things of my life in this area is my appearance which seems to keep people at bay (may complicate my getting dates but that is something else). Appearances from an apparent degree of physical prowess even when relaxed to a style of dressing and stance where I believe a lot of people upon encounter actually believe me to be a cop or a ranger. Part of that stance probably derives from being a trained athlete in my younger years.
B: Okay, that can probably be listed under passive countermeasures. Active countermeasures are all those things that the mind says to avoid an engagement, such as ducking into a gay bar to shake someone following me. Ie, changing the environment to up my advantage. Long story short, with active countermeasures, have the audacity to do anything.
C: Then we come to fighting. When I use to walk to work at midnight, in the 90s, one of the "what if"'s I visualized was a group trying to get me. The answer was to split second pick someone, charge and punch through their line, and keep on going with an occasional course shift if anyone was lining me up to put a round in my back.
The thing about this is that while it is using some things I've been trained to do, it's basically an automated machine where it is doing things without me thinking about it. I'm not thinking how I'm going to punch out my target; the system is picking those moves. The only thought in my mind is that I am going through him. There is no doubt, that is the absolute belief, that I am going through him and away.
How one might get to that point varies. When I've been walking on the street and a group of people approach me, I may mentally go through "strike order" and "strike points". Who would I hit first and then, where would I hit. It's an exercise to train the mind to automatically think that way in case "I ask it" those questions....or the above paragraph comes up. The blitzkrieg mostly likely comes out of my teen competition years where our coach taught us to be charging across the mat on the first syllable of "ha ji me", to have our opponent defeated by the last (only would work on the first match for us). etc etc etc
As things go about walking to work at midnight, one night, when I was lost in my thoughts, there was a sudden thumping of feet close to me, the mind flashed TARGET, and I spun 345 (because of how my feet were positioned in that instant), coming up ready to strike to.....
........a jogger who leapt back with, "WHOA! TAKE IT EASY!".
A professional response but I had gotten careless. He should have never gotten that close. After that night, I don't get lost in my thoughts when I walk, I hold my head up high, and every so often in my travels........
............I do something of a walking pirouette to check my surroundings in 360.
Ma'am your daughter is a savage. And I mean that in a good way. Your daughter should not be getting in trouble for sticking up for herself. If I were you ma'am I'd fight it in court or with the school board. School administration these days can be quite the frustration. I feel your pain. Best Regards...a savage Asian lad.
She could have pushed him away. She could have walked away. She could have immediately notified an administrator. Also she is a trained martial artist who likely knows other, less damaging ways to stop someone from touching her.
A case can be made fairly easily that she not only defended herself she was punitive in her assault of the student. That is the part that could get her in trouble.
When you are being assaulted, it's not your responsibility to take care of your attacker. You can take any action to make it stop, including breaking his nose. It's called self defense. Attackers are animals, and need to be put down.
Just an aside but I have a question for those of you who think it's great that she punched this idiot in the face, twice. If the situation were reversed and a girl in school grabbed a football players butt and then he punched her twice in the face giving her at least a bloody nose would you think it was great of him too?
Because as women, unless we have identical responsibilities in all situations we will not really be equal with men.
Why wouldn't that be fine?
Btw, if we can have zero tolerance in school for hitting, we can also and should also have it for sexual/unwanted touching.
She should have went straight to the principal, obviously the principal took action, but by taking matters into her own hands now she is the one in trouble. Assault / battery charges could still be filed against her.
In crowded hallways there are always witnesses to assault. Sexual assault of a 16 year old girl is much more serious on the cry baby football player's record.
Jocks think who the hell they are. They are usually the ones broke and fat at 40.
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