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Visits were about once a year, maybe more often with his parents, but it wasn't this wonderful world that you've imagined it would be "if only" you/your kids had grandparents or all their grandparents, in the case of your kids.
You are putting words in my mouth ("imagining a wonderful world"??). I don't know anything about you, but just based on this response, you sound like a bitter, unhappy person.
I grew up without grandparents, and I knew my children would not know my parents. In my case (and in many similar cases) that was because my parents were older when they had me, and in fact, their parents were older (mid-30s) when they had them. Did any of that that stop me from having children? Not at all. Do I dwell on it? Not at all. That doesn't make it ideal. All other things being equal, and as a generality, I think it's better to have grandparents than not have them.
We adopted our great nephew as an infant when we were in our 40's. Had birth children in our 20's. I will say that you do get tired quicker than you would at a younger age. The big thing for us has been lack of healthy grandparents for him. My grown children had the opportunity to have the grandparent experience. Although my parents are still alive, they now have dementia. My husband's mom recently passed away. His Dad is still alive but lives out of state and is not very healthy.
I would also like to mention that it has been a little harder to fit in with other parents of younger children as they are mostly in their 20's and early 30's.
With this being said, we have truly enjoyed this experience and would do it all over again. Good Luck.
You are putting words in my mouth ("imagining a wonderful world"??). I don't know anything about you, but just based on this response, you sound like a bitter, unhappy person.
I grew up without grandparents, and I knew my children would not know my parents. In my case (and in many similar cases) that was because my parents were older when they had me, and in fact, their parents were older (mid-30s) when they had them. Did any of that that stop me from having children? Not at all. Do I dwell on it? Not at all. That doesn't make it ideal. All other things being equal, and as a generality, I think it's better to have grandparents than not have them.
Oh, for Pity's Sake! You're the one whining about "I feel that I missed out on having grandparents, and my children missed out on having my parents as their grandparents." and you tell me I'm bitter? It's life! Deal! It's certainly no reason to have kids earlier rather than later.
" Not ideal"? What's ideal? The world of Dick, Jane and Sally in the old readers, where everyone is in a two parent family where mom stays home; has kids of both sexes; a cat; a dog, and presumably four grandparents who live within walking distance? Who lives like that? Know anyone? I don't, and I didn't when I was a kid, either.
My mom pulled my husband and I aside after brunch a few weeks ago and sincerely thanked us for "allowing us to be young grandparents"
No, there's no guarentee. But obviously grandparents are a very important part of many families. My grandparents even play a delightful role in my children's lives. My oldest 2 kids even remember their great-great-grandmother!
I also want to point out that stability and responsibility don't necessarily have an age cutoff. I guarentee my husband and I were more responsible as parents, and financially, in our 20's than the majority of parents of any age. Not "all." But "most."
But when you are ready to be a responsible parent, there in no age that makes you suddenly "irresponsible" Good parents come in all shapes, sizes, ages,!and income brackets!
Schizophrenia has higher occurrences with older fathers. It's still quite rare, but the chances do go up.
One day when we were in a prenatal exam, the doctor left us in the room and my wife saw the outside of her file. Next to her name it said "elderly". She was 36 at the time.
Congratulations to the OP. I'd like to offer a different perspective. My parents were 39 and 40 when I was born. There are days when I wish they had never had me so late. I never got to meet my grandfathers and I feel cheated at times. My father and his siblings, my aunts and uncles, are long gone. My cousins were all much older. I have one cousin left, one aunt, one uncle from my mother's side of the family. That's it and they are over 1100 miles away. It's not something I dwell on every day but there are times when it really bothers me. I turned 50 a couple of weeks ago and it was the worst birthday I've ever experienced. It was a milestone birthday and I missed my family very much. It's not pleasant feeling so alone. My poor husband tried to cheer me up. Thank goodness for him.
My thoughts on the OP having another baby after this one, I would encourage you to go ahead. I have always wished that my parents had another child after me so we would have had each other. I know that is not a guarantee that the siblings get along but I would take that chance. I also have 4 half siblings, we share the same father, but they cut off contact with me after our father died 23 years ago.
This post is so sad.
Happy belated birthday, by the way!
I don't think that your situation has anything to do with your parents age. There are many people in that situation who had young parents.
-You have four siblings. Try to get in touch with them or with their adult children. Brace yourself for rejection but you may find one person who has been thinking about you.
-It is 2016. Distance doesn't matter. Why aren't you close to your aunt, uncle and cousin? Make an effort. Skype is free. You can see them and talk to them as often as you want to. You can text and email them or chat on facebook.
-Didn't your older cousins have children? Did you stay in touch with them. They must be close to your age. Contact them and see if anyone has anything in common with you.
-I also encourage you to get out and make friends. Join a gym or go to meetups or take up a hobby. You can have a close circle of friends that feel like family. There is no way to replace blood relatives but it makes it easier when you are surrounded by people that you love.
-Try to be close to your in-laws. Does your husband have aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, etc. They are also your family. Find a few that you like well enough and cultivate relationships with them.
Again, many here have posted that their grandparents weren't alive, even when they were born to young mothers. In point of fact, one of my grandfathers died before I was born, and my mom was 27 when she had me. I'm the oldest; my brother (obviously) didn't know our gf either.
Then again, grandparents don't always live nearby, to even have a relationship with the kids. My maternal grandparents, who were both alive until I was about 12, lived 900 miles away. They were poor, and couldn't travel often to see us. We didn't even get out there once a year. People traveled less back in the 50s/60s. We live 500 miles from DH's parents, and 1500 from mine. Visits were about once a year, maybe more often with his parents, but it wasn't this wonderful world that you've imagined it would be "if only" you/your kids had grandparents or all their grandparents, in the case of your kids.
I think the grandparent thing is the least important of the concerns about having children at any particular age.
Parents were early 20s when I was born.
One grandparent died when my mom was a child (her dad).
No guarantees.
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I was 35 when I started my family, my first born turns 17 today! I have two more, one 14 and another will be 10 in July. I'm thankful for starting later since I am much more financially secure than I was in my 20's to mid 30's.
But as a few have posted, I have some regrets such as both my parents are now gone, plus my wife's dad...so the kids only have one grandmother left. I feel grandparents are important to a young child's upbringing.
Which leads me to me being a grandparent. At best I'll be in my late 50's if my first born holds off until after college to marry and have a family - before I become a grandfather. I'll have 10-15 more years at least until my youngest has a child, which puts me into my mid-60's. Not that old by today's standards, but my best friend from high school already has several grandkids and really gets to enjoy them. I don't want to be too old to enjoy the grandkids.
I was 35 when I started my family, my first born turns 17 today! I have two more, one 14 and another will be 10 in July. I'm thankful for starting later since I am much more financially secure than I was in my 20's to mid 30's.
But as a few have posted, I have some regrets such as both my parents are now gone, plus my wife's dad...so the kids only have one grandmother left. I feel grandparents are important to a young child's upbringing.
Which leads me to me being a grandparent. At best I'll be in my late 50's if my first born holds off until after college to marry and have a family - before I become a grandfather. I'll have 10-15 more years at least until my youngest has a child, which puts me into my mid-60's. Not that old by today's standards, but my best friend from high school already has several grandkids and really gets to enjoy them. I don't want to be too old to enjoy the grandkids.
Happy Birthday to your child!
The average age for a woman to have her first child these days is 26.3 years. My stats don't show the father's age, but they are usually within a few years of the mom. So, if your child is "average" (and no one's is, of course!) you'll be in your 60s for your first grandchild, and 70s, or maybe even older, when the youngest has his/her last. http://www.npr.org/sections/health-s...ing-in-the-u-s
Like having kids, the best time to become a grandparent, I think, is when you do.
Neither irresponsible, nor selfish. And it's not precarious, unless your finances are screwed.
I'm sure that that kid will receive lots of love from parents and sister.
Just make sure to contact a good obgyn and follow his/her advice. Late age pregnancies need more check ups..
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