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I guess my opinion is that I didn't want anything bad to happen to the little girl, so I spoke up and said something. If speaking up to protect a 7 year old makes me a bad person, so be it. I think I'd be a far worse person if I said nothing, and something bad did happen.
This response has nothing to do with my post.
If you think someone is in danger, yes, you speak up. But I urge you to think about your judgement of the young man, who you do not even know. You've decided he's some sort of potentially dangerous weirdo simply because he does things, like stand with his hands behind his back, that you don't like.
For all you know the parents in the neighborhood have interacted with him, or his parents, and know more about him. Thus the mother's response at the door. She may know he's just a kid with something like autism and not a threat. Autistic people, people with developmental delays aren't weirdos. They're people who have a condition that makes them different from the norm. Different does not mean bad.
Last edited by DewDropInn; 06-30-2016 at 09:19 AM..
Is there any possibility that the boy's family is friends with the little girl's family? Perhaps there was some mutual child minding going on. Boy's family had errands, so he was with Little Girl's family, and somebody said, "Boy, Little Girl wants to play outside. Can you keep an eye on her?" Thus, he was. Keeping an eye on her. I mean, if he was standing watching her, and she wasn't feeling uncomfortable, then isn't it just as likely there is an more innocent explanation?
OP, I think you did the right thing. The boy's behavior made you worry about the little girl and you attempted to tell her parents. I'm not sure what else you could do since you didn't actually get to say anything to them. In the future, continue to keep an eye on what's going on outside and if you feel like someone is in danger, try to speak up again.
I guess my opinion is that I didn't want anything bad to happen to the little girl, so I spoke up and said something. If speaking up to protect a 7 year old makes me a bad person, so be it. I think I'd be a far worse person if I said nothing, and something bad did happen.
I don't think Dew was saying that. I think she was saying that you had an instinctive concern, and that you had additional options. Not that you are a bad person.
I agree with her...information is power and speaking directly to the young man would have been helpful all the way around. If you spoke to him and still felt he was dangerous, you could have politely said "This girl's parents don't want strangers watching her play. You need to go home."
I have to say, understanding that a child has some sort of developmental disability and calling him weird and odd is pretty offensive. I certainly hope you don't have children of your own that are learning this kind of ignorance.
No wonder the other mother didn't want to talk to you.
So should we tiptoe around the fact that his behavior WAS odd and weird just because there is some disability there? Disability or not, his behavior was questionable to me, not okay IMO, and at the least I would maybe talk to HIS mom if I were the OP. Sometimes parents of mentally disabled children are unaware of what their kids are doing and would appreciate being alerted to have the potential to correct the behavior (I speak from experience with people I know). Even if he meant no harm and wasn't trying to look suspicious or odd, he did. It unnerved the OP enough to intervene with the girl's mom, and maybe his mom needs to be alerted as well. It may be a harsh conversation (I would approach very cautiously with his mother) but it's definitely strange behavior for a teenage boy to approach a 7 year old girl playing alone outside and just watch her with his hands behind his back.
Edit: Read the whole thread and saw OP doesn't know who his parents are or where the teenage boy lives. In that case, I agree with Marlow and think you did the right thing. I also think it's nice that you're looking out for kids in the neighborhood and are concerned. Whenever my neighbors and I see strange or unusual things going on or people or unfamiliar cars circling around, we often call or text each other and sometimes even alert the police. I'm not saying you should contact the police or trying to connect our situations like they're similar, I'm simply saying that I can see why you like to keep an eye out on the neighborhood and your street and I think it's a nice thing.
Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps the boy was Non-verbal..?
I work with Autistic kids, Have you ever just took the time to think.. Maybe this kid is just afraid or unable to speak..
You are right to be concerned, but you yourself have passed some sort of awful judgement on a person that you deem socially not acceptable..
That is pretty much what Adolph Hitler did..
Last edited by Caligula1; 06-30-2016 at 02:07 PM..
Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps the boy was Non-verbal..?
I work with Autistic kids, Have you ever just took the time to think.. Maybe this kid is just afraid or unable to speak..
You are right to be concerned, but you yourself have passed some sort of awful judgement on a person that you deem socially not acceptable..
That is pretty much what Adolph Hitler did..
Even if the boy is autistic and non-verbal, it does not necessarily mean that he is harmless to other children around him. He may not understand personal boundaries or right from wrong.
All the OP did was try to alert the parent of a young girl to a potential harm. He DID NOT pass awful judgment on a person he deemed not socially acceptable. And even if he did, it's a little early in the discussion to invoke Adolph Hitler, doncha think? Godwin's law doesn't usually kick in for many pages.
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