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Well yes but nobody there calls her Eleanore everyone calls her Ellie. That was the whole point of giving her the nickname. I called her that because of her grandmother. That name holds sentimental value.
What you are saying is that 'sentiment' is more important to you than the life of your daughter.
I wouldn't be surprised to read of your murder by your own daughter's hand in the news someday.
I doubt it. The popularity of Eleanor has been rising steadily since the 1980s. It's now the 60th most popular name for baby girls. Teens sense these trends more readily than us older people--Eleanor may sound "old lady" to you, but not to them, I assure you. I personally think Hazel and Sadie sound pretty ancient, but they're as popular as Eleanor.
Whatever is going on here, I don't think it's being teased for having an old lady name.
You are probably right. I just remember my grandmother's friend Eleanor with the bright red lipstick on her wrinkly mouth and her sagging jowls that swung back and forth when when she walked. But it is tempered by my love of history and the only woman to be both queen of France and queen of England!
Now that you've said it, I do remember reading that Hazel was making a comeback. For those of us over 50, we associate that name with that godawful annoying maid on television played by Shirley Booth.
It's pretty amazing that former old-lady names like Emma, Emily, and Sophia have returned, too.
This right here. I would tell her the exact same thing. I would consider it IF she were willing to go to counseling. That might get her there with a minimum of angst.
Yes. I went to counseling through my EAP when my son was getting bullied in third grade. For some reason, it just had me completely UNDONE and unable to deal with it effectively and possibly making things worse.
The counselor told me that she was going to help my son by helping me - and she was right. I also got some great practical advice from her as an objective observer and the problem was quickly solved.
I highly recommend it.
This is why I would suggest that the OP gets the ball rolling by going in herself. Through fostering kids and adoption, I have found that much of the work is done with the therapist and parent and then that helps the child. Its so much better then dragging a resistant teenager and throwing her on the sacrificial alter and say "fix my kid". My son is struggling with some issues and he will go in and work with the therapist because he knows it isn't just to "fix him", its to help me help him (because he knows I go alone sometimes). It doesn't feel like we are all saying he is broken. That is what dragging a resistant teen into therapy says: "you are broken". This is why I think the OP could benefit from starting herself and getting some help to calm the situation before attempting to get her daughter in. In reality, I think the OP is a huge part of the problems they are facing. And if she alters her parenting some, she is going to see positive changes in her daughter. Then maybe her daughter will be willing to meet her half way.
Tell her that this manipulative behaviour is completely unacceptable, and you'll change her name to whatever she wants if she commits to six months of therapy and fully cooperates throughout.
And tell her that if she ever pulls this stunt again, she'll be immediately booked into a mental hospital and you'll change her name to Gertrude while she's in there.
I doubt it. The popularity of Eleanor has been rising steadily since the 1980s. It's now the 60th most popular name for baby girls. Teens sense these trends more readily than us older people--Eleanor may sound "old lady" to you, but not to them, I assure you. I personally think Hazel and Sadie sound pretty ancient, but they're as popular as Eleanor.
Whatever is going on here, I don't think it's being teased for having an old lady name.
You don't seem to be taking this seriously. Make an appointment with a therapist. If she refuses to go, you attend by yourself and discuss the situation with the therapist and include ALL information (the name change, the knife and threatening to slit her wrists, etc). Then follow his advice. IMO, he will probably recommend that if she grabs the knife again that you call the police and have her brought to the hospital on a psychiatric hold. She'll get therapy then. This is more than a dislike of her name.
I'm hoping this is everybody low-key agreeing with me that Eleanore is a great name. But again, nobody ever calls her that. It's always Ellie.
I love the name Eleanor, and I think Ellie is cute (maybe too cute from some teenagers). I met an Eleanor the other day who is 8. Its definitely coming back into style.
However, it seems to upset your daughter a lot. Did she have a good relationship with her grandmother? Could there be some ill feelings? Perhaps just that her name is a dead person's name bothers her? I feel like there is something she is trying to tell you in her demanding to change her name. I also don't feel like the suicidal gesture was manipulation in the calculated sense. I think she is crying out for you to hear her. Please consider going into therapy yourself to get the ball rolling.
P.S. Some people are being very, very rude in their posting to you. You aren't terrible, just a mom who needs a hand. We all do in some respects.
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But it is tempered by my love of history and the only woman to be both queen of France and queen of England!
