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I had one else of each. One child who was compliant and one who had to be moving all the time.
I did occasionally use a harness type device when he was at a particularly difficult age. He outgrew that phase fairly quickly.
A note : he's a grown man now - no ill-effects from the harness; and he still moves constantly. It's just his nature.
I agree with this.
I have four kids, all now grown. Out of the four, one was an "escape artist" None of the others would EVER wander off, and I raised them all the same way, so go figure.
The one who was my "escape artist" is now a grown man filled with a sense of adventure. In fact, one of his hobbies is underwater cave exploration, so yeah - he always had that urge in him to go where no man has gone before.
My oldest daughter also has four kids. One of her four is prone to wandering off randomly, and then suddenly looking around and realizing she is lost - about the same time her mom starts looking around frantically thinking the same thing! She did this once at Virginia Beach, on a crowded summer day. You can just imagine how frantic all of us were till we found her 45 minutes later! We were there with a group of cousins - 7 of them all total, between the ages of 2 and 8 - and she was the only one who wandered off (almost immediately by the way!) - and she's ALWAYS the one you have to watch like a hawk.
Long story short, I used a harness with my son the escape artist, after he wandered off DOWN THE STREET in Germany and we couldn't find him. A police officer saw him trying to cross the street at an intersection - he was 3. FREAK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!
He wasn't rebellious or otherwise a discipline problem. In fact, he was and still is a very affectionate, respectful person. He is ADHD though and was always just very easily distracted by anything happening around him, and he'd instinctively follow anything that interested him. It seems to me that I only used that harness for about a year tops, probably between the ages of 3 and 4. I probably should have started it when he was 2 though. It took me awhile to figure out, "Hey, I think I need to strap him to me."
I am scared to death he's going to get lost in an underwater cave one day but what's a mom to do? He's too old for a harness now!
My son is 12 so this is still going back a little bit but I thought the harness was great. My son had a lot more freedom to move around than in the stroller so he was happier, but he was a runner and I couldn't keep up with him. In a mall play area, he literally scaled the wall and escaped. A harness kept him safe.
I got a few dirty looks but most people smiled and quite a few said they had used one too.
I bought a harness with my kids when they were little to use in the airport. I traveled a lot with them and they were a year apart so I had my hands full. My son quickly made a game where he would run, full force, until he ran out of rope and fall backwards on his hiney. He thought it was sooooooooooooo funny. But it really looked like I was yanking on him. So he didn't get to use it much.
My daughter was very shy and easily scared (still is) and has a HUGE fear of being lost from me. She loved it and wanted to use it a lot for a long time. She loved the monkey backpack part of it and knowing she was able to walk and explore but still be connected to mommy made her happy.
I think it is way more healthy for a child to use a harness and learn to stay near by, explore their world and develop independence then be strapped in a stroller.
A harness, you mean a leash? My opinion is I would never use one as I have control of my children.
Harness, leash, whatever you want to call it (actually it's both).
I would have said the same thing you're saying before I had my third child, who was my escape artist. Thankfully, life's experiences have worked some of the judgmentalism out of me.
By the way, my escape artist child was otherwise quite well behaved and not a discipline issue at all, just for the record - in spite of his ADHD. He was never rebellious or moody or manipulative or ornery, and he had (and still has) the most cheerful and loving disposition! But he was very easily distracted and would wander off quickly without thinking at all of the consequences.
I absolutely do not understand why it is socially acceptable to strap a child down in a stroller so that he can't move, but unacceptable to strap him to your wrist so that he can walk, but not run away.
To people who say, "It looks like you're walking your dog," I say, I see plenty of little dogs these days riding around in strollers.
For what it's worth, I have three kids and never used a harness, but I have zero issues with them and would have used one if it had ever seemed indicated.
I'd be like yea, just like you use a leash to keep a dog safe same idea applies to kids. Not all kids need a leash, but some kids do and it's bs to judge some parent you don't know for using one.
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Originally Posted by GoodSchoolols
A harness, you mean a leash? My opinion is I would never use one as I have control of my children.
Hope they never get out of control.
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Originally Posted by maciesmom
The good news is that it took almost 5 hours to get this kind of response. A big improvement over earlier threads. Progress is a good thing.
It's ridiculous, you get criticized for using a leash, but then something happens like the Gorilla story and everyone rushes to say how irresponsible these parents were, they should of watched their kids better. Heck people downright say it's their vault why didn't they use a harness/leash.
It's ridiculous, you get criticized for using a leash, but then something happens like the Gorilla story and everyone rushes to say how irresponsible these parents were, they should of watched their kids better. Heck people downright say it's their vault why didn't they use a harness/leash.
It's a no win situation.
exactly.
I only had the one kid, but I had him when I was older (in my 40s) so I was less worried than a typical first time parent might have been and had the self confidence to do what worked for me and my kid and not care what others thought. As I mentioned before, I got a few dirty looks when I used the harness, and mine was a plain old harness, not a cute backpack. But I didn't care, it's what I needed to keep my son safe at that point in his life. It's not always easy to ignore those who feel they have the right to criticize your parenting, but this was one case where I never, ever second guessed my decision.
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Hope they never get out of control. 
It's ridiculous, you get criticized for using a leash, but then something happens like the Gorilla story and everyone rushes to say how irresponsible these parents were, they should of watched their kids better. Heck people downright say it's their vault why didn't they use a harness/leash. 
