Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If i were thinking of starting a family in this present day, I would not have them. It's bad enough my kids are adults now and I worry about them all the time.
No, we've actually had a great time raising a family for the last dozen+ years.
Sure, there have been bumps in the road. Sure, we worry about various things--we're parents after all. But as many other posters have stated: there is no perfect time to have kids--neither in your own life nor in history.
IMO, you should have kids because you and your partner deeply desire to be parents and you're committed to caring for your family.
I have nothing against people who don't have children, in fact I think it's great and good for them. What I don't like is when the tables are reversed and people act like they are morally superior and wiser and a better person than you by not having children. I didn't get this vibe from the OP, but I have from others at times.
It's up to you. Birthrates went way down during the Great Depression - and that was before modern birth control so there were some REAL sacrifices going on there! But eventually rates went back up, way up after WWII. So is your outlook really so negative based on the relatively short-lived economic issue or the perceived longer-term issues of crime and other societal issues? Each generation starts out optimistic and then becomes negative that the kids are bringing down civilization. And yet we keep going - it's all your attitude.
Location: In a little house on the prairie - literally
10,202 posts, read 7,919,895 times
Reputation: 4561
Quote:
Originally Posted by KonaldDuth
I like the idea of raising a family, but I feel like modern America isn't the place to do it. Between rising cost of living, increasingly crappier schools, a scam of a legal system, social divisiveness that is bordering on a race war, and increasing competitiveness to get into good colleges and get good jobs, I don't think I'm up to the task of having kids and setting them up for a prosperous life in this country. I guess the welfare bums, who don't care about all the aforementioned problems, will keep up the population. I'm going to stay single and portable (apartment, liquid assets, etc.).
Rising cost of living?
The past 12 or so years have been historical LOW inflation and interest rates. What the heck are you comparing it too? As far as race issues, you didn't live through the '60's. This is just a pimple on an elephants behind, and the internet makes it seem a lot worse, on all sides, than it really is. Look up Watts riots sometime. Or Kent State.
I like the idea of raising a family, but I feel like modern America isn't the place to do it. Between rising cost of living, increasingly crappier schools, a scam of a legal system, social divisiveness that is bordering on a race war, and increasing competitiveness to get into good colleges and get good jobs, I don't think I'm up to the task of having kids and setting them up for a prosperous life in this country. I guess the welfare bums, who don't care about all the aforementioned problems, will keep up the population. I'm going to stay single and portable (apartment, liquid assets, etc.).
I am in my 40’s and made the decision 15+ years ago not to have children. I made that decision when the economy was decent, jobs were plentiful, college education costs weren’t astronomical and social media didn’t conceive a new generation of bullies.
I made the decision not to have kids because it was my moral obligation. I knew I couldn’t afford one, let alone two. I knew I didn’t have the proper tools to effectively parent. I knew that the likelihood of choosing an undesirable mate, and father for said child(ren), was great. On top of all that, there was a hereditary medical condition that I didn’t want to risk passing on.
OP, I completely hear what you are saying and respect your responsible choice not to have children. If your desire to have children is strong then your desire to overcome social, financial and educational obstacles will be strong as well. I was lucky enough not to have a biological clock that was louder than my brain so my decision has not left me empty or unfulfilled.
And do I think I am a better person for not having kids? Of course not. But I believe I (me, myself, I) am better off not having kids.
Everyone should make the decision they want to when it comes to having kids. I applaud anyone who decides not to have children after thinking it over; many people have them because it's the thing to do. Of course, you might change your mind, which is also fine, as long as you're making a decision based on what's best for you and your potential/hypothetical family.
I have two teens. The world we live in is a difficult one, and sometimes I do think that if I were to start now, I might not decide to have children at all. But then, they've brought so much joy to my life that I don't think that would be the right answer (for me), either.
People have children in all types of circumstances, on purpose and by accident. As long as they're loved and the parents are doing their best, they'll thrive. I would have liked to have more children, I think, but that's not the way it worked out. Now I'm glad that we just have the two; we can afford for them to do many things that they want to, though not everything, and we're not struggling (much).
I will worry about them until the day I die; that's just the nature of being a parent. It's for a lifetime, even once you're not financially supporting them or physically having them live in your home. I can't think of a time that would have enabled parents of adult children to not worry... that's just how it is!
^^I agree, and I think people who use "the economy", etc as a reason not to have kids really don't want to have kids. It's OK not to want them, just say, "It's not for me".
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
