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Old 08-01-2016, 11:07 AM
 
11,410 posts, read 7,742,353 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
I think that made them better parents. There's nothing wrong with an adult child getting their own grants and subsidies at a college they can afford on their own dime.

Disagree with the "better". Not bad, but not better either. Some kids who have parents who pay for college take it seriously and achieve at a high level. Some don't. And same goes for kids are taking out loans. There is no right way and none that insures a great result.
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Old 08-01-2016, 11:16 AM
 
Location: The analog world
17,077 posts, read 13,282,321 times
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^ Indeed. Why on earth would I be a bad parent because I've saved for my children's education? Their educations are going to run about $80k for a Bachelor's degree. We've saved about $60k for each, and the rest they are expected to make up in merit aid and scholarships with loans as a last resort. They've known this all along and have watched their savings grow over the years. They know that what we have set aside for them is it and that they need to make the most of it, because anything over comes out of their own pockets. I think our approach is generous, but not overly so, and it encourages them to be responsible and wise in spending it.

Last edited by randomparent; 08-01-2016 at 11:31 AM..
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Old 08-01-2016, 11:16 AM
 
772 posts, read 1,054,154 times
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No right or wrong in my opinion. I thing everyone should do whats right for their family and of course what they can afford. DH and I would totally pay for college for our children if we can afford it. I went to an expensive college and grad school with a lot of people from wealthy parents. Most had college paid for by their parents and I would say that most have done very well for themselves and did not goof off. Sometimes, it does read here that many CDers believe that if children dont figure it out by themselves by working at age 13 or thereabouts, then they wont amount to anything. Yet I would say that a lot of folks who are at the pinnacle of their fields today had parents who were successful too and often paid for everything.. But thats my reality, so may not be others'
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Old 08-01-2016, 11:24 AM
 
509 posts, read 550,825 times
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Until reading this thread I was not aware that parents not saving for college was taboo.

While some parents may be able to put 100K in an account for their kids, other choose to use that money on monthly luxuries such as rent, food, clothes...
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Old 08-01-2016, 11:33 AM
 
1,646 posts, read 2,767,391 times
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College today is viewed as some kind of entitlement, and furthermore people believe that the government should pay for it. My parents were not wealthy. I never expected them to pay for college. My sister got a full scholarship and I worked full time and went to school at night. It took me 10 years to complete my degree. Some kids shouldn't go to college, they should start businesses or learn a trade. So to answer your question, no it does not make a parent bad if they don't save for college.
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Old 08-01-2016, 11:41 AM
 
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No, sometimes paying your kids college tuition as if college is some kind of entitlement for the kids is what makes bad parents.
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Old 08-01-2016, 11:41 AM
 
10,226 posts, read 7,512,566 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marleinie View Post
Parents saving for their kids college is considered to the thing to do, but if parents don't do you think that makes them automatically bad parents? In my case my parents never did. They both had the idea of making it your own way. Not that they were mean or abusive in any way, just how they felt, not that they ever made that much.
No. Even if they did, most parents couldn't save enough to pay the whole tuition for a four year degree. It costs too much, now, and wages have been stagnant in real dollars for a long time.

It is MUCH more important that your parents save for their senior years, so as not to become a burden on you in later years. Suze Orman even prioritizes saving in that order: First, save for your OWN retirement/senior years. Only after that is taken care of do you save for your kids. She said although it sounds selfish, it's the most unselfish thing. If the parents aren't able to care for themselves financially in their older years, it will become the kids' problem.
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Old 08-01-2016, 11:43 AM
 
Location: Seattle Area
1,716 posts, read 2,026,639 times
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Nope....nobody ever promised you a college education. If you want one, you work for it, starting in high school. You study hard and stay focused on doing the best you can so that you can get any scholarships or other financial aid that might be available. Then once you are in college you work or take loans to pay the way. They payoff is all yours when you get that high paying job with millions of dollars over your lifetime.
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Old 08-01-2016, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,001,934 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linerin View Post
Until reading this thread I was not aware that parents not saving for college was taboo.

While some parents may be able to put 100K in an account for their kids, other choose to use that money on monthly luxuries such as rent, food, clothes...
That reminds me of someone that I know whose father always assumed (who knows why) that all of the money that he gave his ex-wife in child support was going into the childrens' college fund. The sad thing was that he always referred to the money as "your college fund" to his kids and also told his kids that "he was paying for their college" but never really discussed it with his ex-wife. All along she was using the money for what most single moms used the child support money for, food, clothes, supplies, school expenses, etc. for the children. It was a huge shock when the oldest asked for "the college money" that his dad had been paying all those years and discovered that his mom had used it to actually support them and had not "saved" it in a special account just for college.
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Old 08-01-2016, 12:11 PM
 
Location: Greenville, SC
6,219 posts, read 5,907,745 times
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You mean bad parents like mine who barely had enough money to keep food on the table? So that I had to work my way through undergraduate school and drop out half way through so I could work full time and save for the last two years (took me eight years to get my BA)? Ditto with graduate programs that I paid for entirely out of my pocket?

What horrible people they were. They should have worked harder so they could pay for my education.
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