Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Some people take things like that as sort of an unspoken challenge or an insult. "I make X amount; I'm better than you/I DARE you to do better".
I agree that the OP's father may have meant it as an insult such as "You are only a dumb female. You will never achieve as much as I , a big, strong, superior male achieved" instead of "I love you and am proud of you, Dear Daughter. I am very successful and I know that you will be very successful, too". But, perhaps when I read between the lines of her various threads I have it completely wrong.
My husband's father lived in a former chicken coop at one point because his father didn't have house insurance when their house burned down. (He was thawing a frozen pipe with a blow torch in the basement and caught a beam on fire)
My mother struggled as a single mother to keep our house when my father passed away when I was young (4 kids)
Yes, I'd say we live FAR better and have achieved far more than our parents. The fact that they loved us, and raised us properly to become good people is the important factor here, not wealth.
Not even close. But as well as my own, a great deal of that was of my parents' making.
I grew up in a time where women got married and had kids, period. My parents expected that from me. They didn't consider college for me, they didn't talk to me about money or finances of any kind, they didn't talk about what I might want to do with my life, or what I wanted from life, and my dad didn't even think it was important to teach me to drive (my mother didn't drive and he liked the idea of women being dependent on their husbands).
My parents owned a house by the time they were 30 and had substantial savings by the time my dad retired. I was considered 'stupid' because I wanted to work and get an education instead of getting married and having kids. They offered me no emotional support in my life and that, in addition to not having any knowledge of financial matters, really did a number on me.
I'm still single and still have money problems and will retire with virtually nothing. A couple years ago I was visiting my mom, who hadn't worked since she was married. She asked what bills I owed on and when I told her, she came back with, "I don't know what's wrong with you. I always paid my bills." It took everything I had to bite my tongue and tell her that no, she didn't pay any bills. My dad worked; he paid the bills. But she was 82 years old, so I restrained myself.
Yes both my husband and I (mid 20's) are at a significantly better place than both of our parents at this age and better than my parents ever were. We will exceed his parents income at their best by 30 years old maybe earlier. Why is this the case? Because his parents made a way to put both of their sons through college including all expenses and help them get on their feet. His parents came from a third world country and the other from a small town with both having to pay their way through school, entirely. I married my husband when he was 21 so that was a huge jumpstart for us to start out without any debt on his behalf. He was able to get his masters right away because of having no debt and from tuition assistance from his employer. When he finished school not having student loan debt allowed me to go back to school and now we are where we are. So to conclude we would not be where we are at this age without the sacrifices of my in laws.
I grew up with parents who always told me that a child should exceed their parents financially.
While I am relatively young (early 20's), I probably will never accomplish more than my father. He grew up poor in a third world country and now is a high level manager at a fortune 500- Net worth of several million and in the top 1℅ of incomes. He got his masters degree from MIT as well. My mom isn't really as accomplished (nurse), but their marriage is very traditional. She was pretty and from a good family. Her job was to keep the family together.
I went to a local state college (UGA), majored in CS and now make 70k. My dad's first salary was more than mine (despite inflation). I really don't see how I can exceed my father.
My dad doesn't say much to me other than it's alright because he'll leave me money, and that girls typically don't accomplish too much. He also says I should be good looking enough to snag a good guy so it'll work out, lol.
How have you fared?
LOL Oh you second generation. My parents are remarried. I'm doing better than one unit and worse than one unit. That is just financially. My parents only have undergrad degrees, so I've beat them there. As far as family they won, since I'm childless and despite my high salary, can't afford to have kids. Not enough time or money to devote to them.
If you are good looking enough, listen to your dad and snag a successful guy! Believe me you will be on easy street as it is difficult to make it with a crumby partner, or by yourself as a woman. In a few years when you have more experience, you may be able to start a business with Dad's help and blow him out of the water.
I agree that the OP's father may have meant it as an insult such as "You are only a dumb female. You will never achieve as much as I , a big, strong, superior male achieved" instead of "I love you and am proud of you, Dear Daughter. I am very successful and I know that you will be very successful, too". But, perhaps when I read between the lines of her various threads I have it completely wrong.
I get the same thing…and what a horrible attitude towards her mother.
My dad was middle-class and my mom was a housewife. Well... my husband is upper-middle class and I am a housewife. We have a very happy marriage and two wonderful, happy and healthy children. My goal in life is not to "exceed" my parents. (I do have a bit of a competitive streak against my sisters but that's a different story.)
My parents always said they just wanted me to "be happy" but I expect if I did what I really want to do-- which is be a foster parent-- they would not be thrilled as they have said as much in the past. I need to stop worrying about pleasing them. I'm not a kid anymore!
Edit: I must add that I do consider myself "better off" than my parents because I am a critical thinker, not bigoted, not racist and generally a nicer person than they are. My marriage is happier and my kids are happier.... but none of those things relate to money.
I'm not my parents, I'm me. I'm successful in different ways than my parents were. Achievements in comparison to others are useless to me, because chasing something that was never mine (ownership) is like chasing a ghost. Outsiders may look at me and say no because my Dad made more $$ than me at work. But the next person may say yes because I've been physically active most of my life, and at 56 and running 40 miles per week training for half marathon distance, and can run under 8:00 minutes miles at that distance, whereas my parents never had that sort of drive.
It's only fair to compare parents to kids if they're in the same field. Ie: if the father was a doctor and the son becomes a pastor, it's likely the father will have made more money, but which is more "successful" is not quantifiable.
My dad worked as musician, music teacher, farmer, and real estate salesman & developer at various points in his life. I have not tried to do any of those things, so I don't really know if I have achieved more. I had a dream in college and stuck with it afterwards. My dad was unfocused in college and didn't really stick to what he had majored in. My dad wanted to stay near his family home & worked the jobs that enabled him to do that. I moved to wherever my career took me.
In the OP's case the father is a corporate big-wig and the daughter is a software engineer or something like that. The two are not comparable. If she wants to compete with her father, she is going to have to cross over from the worker bee side to the leadership side. Like if I wanted to compete with my father, I would have to choose one of his 3 career fields.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
