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Wow. That's a passive-aggressive gift. Not to mention pretty rude. Why not just say "We're leaving at 11. If you want to go with us be ready to go then. If not, we'll see you when we get home".
Simple and probably a solution those books on manners would support.
Wow. That's a passive-aggressive gift. Not to mention pretty rude. Why not just say "We're leaving at 11. If you want to go with us be ready to go then. If not, we'll see you when we get home".
Simple and probably a solution those books on manners would support.
sometimes, you have to hit people with a 2 x 4 to get their attention.
people like this one, wouldn't get it...but the books might wake her up....
in all aspects of good social skills...
making people wait is disrespectful, rude, and just wrong. There are no excuses to justify this kind of behavior, and from now on, I need to make them clear on that issue.
sometimes, you have to hit people with a 2 x 4 to get their attention.
people like this one, wouldn't get it...but the books might wake her up....
in all aspects of good social skills...
No, the books will just insult her. Would you give someone who's a poor housekeeper a Christmas gift of a book on cleaning? Would you give someone who's overweight a diet book? If you did, do you think their opinion of you would be as a nice person or as a passive-aggressive, rude jerk?
This girlfriend may be just the latest one or may end up being THE ONE. Seems like a poor idea to alienate her and probably a grandson just to make a bit*hy point when just being clear on what you expect will do just as well.
The next time you make plans to go out with your cousin, I would tell her ahead of time that you have someplace to be later that day, so you have to go right at 11:00 and will not be able to wait for her daughter if she's not ready. If she's not ready when you get there, leave. Maybe your cousin will take the hint.
Last edited by Kibbiekat; 08-22-2016 at 02:36 PM..
OP, it used to be very common for kids who attended college on the parental dime to not have a job. Jobs were for the kids who were attending on loans and financial aid. It was believed that the ideal was for students to focus most of their time on their studies, and to enjoy whatever spare time they had. This is still the case with those fortunate few who don't need to work their way through school, except that in todays highly-competitive job market, those who do get jobs or internships related to their academic interests will be way ahead after graduation, so all parents should be urging their kids to have jobs in school, at some point.
Aside from that issue, your friend sounds like somewhat of a doormat. It sounds like her family members take her for granted.
making people wait is disrespectful, rude, and just wrong. There are no excuses to justify this kind of behavior, and from now on, I need to make them clear on that issue.
I think you need to go beyond addressing the daughter on this. You need to tell your friend that it's best to not include her daughter in your outings (how rude for her to bring along an uninvited guest, anyway. Really, who does that?!), because of the daughter's chronic and sometimes extreme tardiness. That would send a message to your friend that she needs to instill some discipline in her daughter, and that children/young adults without discipline are not welcome company anywhere. It's not your job to raise and correct her daughter, it's her job.
I think you need to go beyond addressing the daughter on this. You need to tell your friend that it's best to not include her daughter in your outings (how rude for her to bring along an uninvited guest, anyway. Really, who does that?!), because of the daughter's chronic and sometimes extreme tardiness.
The fact that the disrespectful daughter is even allowed to come on these outings is another way the OP is enabling the cousin.
Wow. That's a passive-aggressive gift. Not to mention pretty rude. Why not just say "We're leaving at 11. If you want to go with us be ready to go then. If not, we'll see you when we get home".
Simple and probably a solution those books on manners would support.
Nothing passive aggressive at all. My kids got those books when they were in elementary school.
You do not want me telling you the rest. Like leaving 8 drinking glasses in her room rather than bringing them back to the kitchen. They were in the car leaving for the airport. My daughter made a run through the house to make sure they left nothing. She called her son back into the house to get the glasses while explaining that his grandmother was not his maid. My daughter nor her children would not leave a mess for anybody.
Some young adults have been taught nothing. It is rare, but still true, Their families leave training up to the schools and the rest of society. I see it daily. Have you ever been into a store and seen merchandise scattered all over the floor? That's the kind of parent I'm talking about. They just walk off and leave it.
Nothing passive aggressive at all. My kids got those books when they were in elementary school.
You do not want me telling you the rest. Like leaving 8 drinking glasses in her room rather than bringing them back to the kitchen. They were in the car leaving for the airport. My daughter made a run through the house to make sure they left nothing. She called her son back into the house to get the glasses while explaining that his grandmother was not his maid. My daughter nor her children would not leave a mess for anybody.
Some young adults have been taught nothing. It is rare, but still true, Their families leave training up to the schools and the rest of society. I see it daily. Have you ever been into a store and seen merchandise scattered all over the floor? That's the kind of parent I'm talking about. They just walk off and leave it.
And you think they'll be accepted in the same way by a 20 something year old? No. And giving someone a book as a "hint" about what you perceive as a character flaw instead of openly discussing what behavior you expect in your home is classic passive-aggressive behavior. She's an adult and it's not anyone's place to attempt to parent her into better manners.
Sounds like Grandma either needs to convey the rules of her home in a clear, concise manner or not allow this couple to stay in her home.
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