Giving gifts to siblings on someone else's birtday. (party, mother-in-law, parents)
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1. Does anyone give gifts to the other children on one child's birthday?
2. Would your opinion change if it was someone else trying to give the sibling a gift? Like grandma?
My mother-in-law is mad at me (again) because she sent birthday gifts to our oldest yesterday but also included a matching big item for her little sister. We took it out of the box before she saw it and decided that she could have at some other time, maybe Christmas. MIL caught wind of it and is mad at me for it (hubby and I both agreed on the situation).
Both of our kids are perfectly happy for the current birthday kid and aren't jealous about not receiving presents. They understand that it's someone else's special day. Personally, I feel like placating the sibling only breeds entitlement and doesn't teach them to be happy for others and that life is not all about them.
It feels slightly wrong to confiscate a gift that someone else bought and decide when she can have it but that's my job as a parent.
It is the birthday child's day. They should get a gift, not any siblings.
You state that " MIL caught wind of it and is mad at me for it"
Has your husband taken the time to talk to his mother about how you both feel about this?
It is the birthday child's day. They should get a gift, not any siblings.
You state that " MIL caught wind of it and is mad at me for it"
Has your husband taken the time to talk to his mother about how you both feel about this?
The hubby told her we don't give presents to kids on someone else's birthday. Our just-turned-seven year old told her "Mommy said she couldn't have it now" while on the phone thanking her for her gifts.
She blames me because he's her precious little snowflake and I am to blame for everything he does against her wishes. I'm used to that nonsense. I was just wondering how other people feel about giving gifts to siblings on someone else's birthday. I've heard of it before and I've never understood it.
Edited to add: taking the extra gift away in front of the birthday girl was unavoidable. I didn't know it was there until she'd opened it and I read the note.
When our kids were little like 2/3 years old we did it. My daughter got a pair of shoes on her brother's b-day and vice versa. We did that for a couple of years and it always worked out because they always needed a new pair of shoes by that time. The kids are 7/8 now and if they need a new pair of shoes around each other's b-days we get them but they aren't called presents anymore and haven't been for a couple of years now.
I've never done it, but it does sound like grandma is just trying to make both her grands feel special. IF she does it on both of their b-days, I really don't see a problem. IF she only does it for the youngest on the older ones b-day, she has a favorite. Bottom line, you have to pick your battles and this sounds like a non issue imo. Getting a gift one extra day a year isn't a bad thing. I guess I planned it right, my boys are 3 years and one day apart so they both got gifted within 24 hrs.
This too me is a non-issue. The grandma is just trying to make all of them feel special. You pick your battles and this to me is not worth it. And if this makes a child to grow up to be entitled then there's more to it.
As long as the same is done for each child's birthday. The can just be their thing with their grandma. My parents as well as uncles and aunts have done it over the years
As long as grandma is consistent, I could not care less. Seriously, it is just a birthday. It can be a special day for her and others (to share in the joy and celebration). After all, isn't that what birthday party favors are? Are you against those? I'm sorry but parents have gone overboard with birthdays. It's a celebration of the day your child was born - nothing more.
Both of our kids are perfectly happy for the current birthday kid and aren't jealous about not receiving presents. They understand that it's someone else's special day. Personally, I feel like placating the sibling only breeds entitlement and doesn't teach them to be happy for others and that life is not all about them.
I think so too. I see no reason to get a gift for anyone other than the birthday kid. I would rather teach my kids that everything is not all about them. A birthday is someone else's special day, not their's.
If Grandma dotes equally on the grandkids in turn and the present is small I probably wouldn't mind. Is it possible that your dislike of your mother-in-law is affecting your opinion? What if your good friend tried to give your other child a gift--would you feel the same?
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