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I saw it when my kids were little. We had one kid the mom would drug up and take places. She was a total flake in many other ways also.
Also went to a birthday party where the child was just coming down with the flu and was given Tylenol before we got there. I think that has to be the nastiest flu we ever caught. I was 30 weeks pregnant with my second child and had to get a Z Pack. I could barely talk when I called my obgyn. My oldest child ended up having a febrile seizure when I tried to give him a bath. We got an ambulance ride to the hospital. I had to miss a week of work that I was saving for my maternity leave. That sick child's party cost me well over $1000. We were miserable.
The other poster is discussing someone very extreme, but I also know at least mom who would possibly do something like this. I would possibly classify that person as penny wise and pound foolish. They go places because there is free food and free entertainment Attending the party allows them to say the children have friends although the kids are sort of a pain in the rear and whiny because the parent doesn't feed them on a schedule. The other kids don't like to play with them very much.
I actually have sort of an opposite pet peeve about food at birthday parties. My children are well fed and we can afford whatever food we need. However, if a parent decides to schedule their kid's birthday party at lunch time, the least I expect of them is to feed the kids. We went for a series of birthday parties earlier this year for my kid's preschool class mates.. that we all scheduled for 2-3 hour blocks between 11-3. And that only offered juice box, individual pack goldfish crackers, fruit snack and cake.. went as far as having just one juice box power child and no water to be seen anywhere. It was like one parent did it and then the next parent 2 weeks later did the same and the next parent then someone broke the B.S and actually has pizza for the kids at the next party.
My thing is this, pizza is cheap.. I would rather you schedule your party earlier or later in the day if you will not feed the kids.. and juice box and fruit snack is not food. I considered having the kids eat lunch before the party but it's often too early and for say an 11am party, we are leaving wherever we were before around 10;30 and my kids are just not used to eating lunch at that time.
So what we do not is make sure, they get some snacks before hand and I also pack some snacks with me. It just bugs me especially when the birthday venues are usually the reigning kids activity location that are usually quite expensive. So you spend money on the location then you have 20 or so super cranky and hungry kids at the party. I just don't get it. So for my kids parties, I make sure to have enough food for kids and parents (even though I am okay with hosts not providing food for parents)
I actually have sort of an opposite pet peeve about food at birthday parties. My children are well fed and we can afford whatever food we need. However, if a parent decides to schedule their kid's birthday party at lunch time, the least I expect of them is to feed the kids. We went for a series of birthday parties earlier this year for my kid's preschool class mates.. that we all scheduled for 2-3 hour blocks between 11-3. And that only offered juice box, individual pack goldfish crackers, fruit snack and cake.. went as far as having just one juice box power child and no water to be seen anywhere. It was like one parent did it and then the next parent 2 weeks later did the same and the next parent then someone broke the B.S and actually has pizza for the kids at the next party.
My thing is this, pizza is cheap.. I would rather you schedule your party earlier or later in the day if you will not feed the kids.. and juice box and fruit snack is not food. I considered having the kids eat lunch before the party but it's often too early and for say an 11am party, we are leaving wherever we were before around 10;30 and my kids are just not used to eating lunch at that time.
So what we do not is make sure, they get some snacks before hand and I also pack some snacks with me. It just bugs me especially when the birthday venues are usually the reigning kids activity location that are usually quite expensive. So you spend money on the location then you have 20 or so super cranky and hungry kids at the party. I just don't get it. So for my kids parties, I make sure to have enough food for kids and parents (even though I am okay with hosts not providing food for parents)
I've only had this happen once and the mom really squirmed when the kids all got fussy. I had two starving fussy kids and was looking for a quick exit.
I figure if a party is planned between 11-1, lunch should be served, or 5-7 dinner.
I also always provide food for the parents if I expect them to be there. Its part of being a good hostess.
I actually have sort of an opposite pet peeve about food at birthday parties. My children are well fed and we can afford whatever food we need. However, if a parent decides to schedule their kid's birthday party at lunch time, the least I expect of them is to feed the kids. We went for a series of birthday parties earlier this year for my kid's preschool class mates.. that we all scheduled for 2-3 hour blocks between 11-3. And that only offered juice box, individual pack goldfish crackers, fruit snack and cake.. went as far as having just one juice box power child and no water to be seen anywhere. It was like one parent did it and then the next parent 2 weeks later did the same and the next parent then someone broke the B.S and actually has pizza for the kids at the next party.
My thing is this, pizza is cheap.. I would rather you schedule your party earlier or later in the day if you will not feed the kids.. and juice box and fruit snack is not food. I considered having the kids eat lunch before the party but it's often too early and for say an 11am party, we are leaving wherever we were before around 10;30 and my kids are just not used to eating lunch at that time.
So what we do not is make sure, they get some snacks before hand and I also pack some snacks with me. It just bugs me especially when the birthday venues are usually the reigning kids activity location that are usually quite expensive. So you spend money on the location then you have 20 or so super cranky and hungry kids at the party. I just don't get it. So for my kids parties, I make sure to have enough food for kids and parents (even though I am okay with hosts not providing food for parents)
I've seen this happen a couple times. My kids are picky eaters, so we tend to pack a "back up" meal just in case the food isn't something they'll eat or (as in the scenario you explained) there is no real food. Nothing worse than a group of hangry children!
I saw it when my kids were little. We had one kid the mom would drug up and take places. She was a total flake in many other ways also.
Also went to a birthday party where the child was just coming down with the flu and was given Tylenol before we got there. I think that has to be the nastiest flu we ever caught. I was 30 weeks pregnant with my second child and had to get a Z Pack. I could barely talk when I called my obgyn. My oldest child ended up having a febrile seizure when I tried to give him a bath. We got an ambulance ride to the hospital. I had to miss a week of work that I was saving for my maternity leave. That sick child's party cost me well over $1000. We were miserable.
Absolutely horrible. Sorry you had to deal with that, while pregnant nonetheless.
The last time it happened and our entire family got sick, my wife had the gall to call the mother of the sick child and told her that next time she should keep her sick kids at home instead of dragging them out to a party (where all but 2 guests got sick, within days of exposure to the sick child at the party).
As you can imagine, this did NOT go over well but at that point we knew we were moving out of state so my wife didn't really care We chalked it up to being the area we lived in. People there were quite aloof and pretentious, so the inconsiderate/selfish act of bringing a sick child to a party seemed appropriate. But now that we're seeing it happen AGAIN in another state and many of you here are confirming this, we now realize that this is just how it is.
Appreciate the comments from others on how to deal with this going forward. We're not moving again so I can't risk my wife burning any more bridges
I'm not understanding the sheer lack of respect for others or the lack of common decency in some parents.
I continue to see it more and more: people bring sick kids to birthday parties. Why? I cannot wrap my head around this. When I'm sick I want to recover at home. When my own kids are sick I would never imagine dragging them out when they're better off recovering in the comfort of their own house.
I've noticed recently that the sick child is dragged to the birthday party and is clearly miserable, coughing on everything, infecting every surface he/she touches. All while the parent either downplays symptoms or is practically bragging how their whole house is sick while they kick back a beer and chit chat with the parents. At a birthday party last month one parent brought a child that was throwing up and having diarrhea. Finally the host of the party had to ask the parent to take their child home.
Is this some new trend in parenting?? I never recall being dragged anywhere while I was sick when I was a kid. In fact it was nice to be at home and watch cartoons all day while laying on the couch so I could recoup. I remember several birthdays where kids didn't show up because their parent called to say they were sick. Once my aunt brought my cousins and by the time we cut cake my cousin looked visibly sick. My aunt felt his forehead and off they went, back to their house. My cousin had come down with something unannounced and had no prior symptoms. But it was no questions asked, sick kid gets sent home. Nowadays parents don't even care.
I'm asking other parents how do you address this? If my kids are at a party and a sick child is hacking directly in my kids' faces, am I in the wrong to pull the sick kid's parents aside and ask why they brought a sick kid? Or at least inquire as to what the deal is? Yes I know some illnesses are OK to attend school (so in theory a party would be alright) after 24 hours of antibiotics. But shouldn't a kid that sick be at home resting instead of at a party? I can let it slide if the child is on antibiotics for at least 24 hours but how do I know if I don't ask? I feel it's my job as a parent to protect my kids, and I want to know if my child is being exposed to a harmless cough or something more serious.
Would it be better to address the host of the party in that scenario?
How do you handle your own children's parties? If someone brings a sick kid to my kid's bday party I feel it's my obligation to ask them to leave. It's rude to bring your sick kid to my house so then my whole family will get sick and all the other guests at the party are exposed as well.
FWIW I don't shelter my kids. Germs are good. Exposure to kids is good. I'm not worried about them ever catching a cold because it's part of life and it happens. BUT I don't believe I'm deliberately exposing my kids nor do I think it's ok to deliberately go around exposing others to my sick child.
I don't think it's such a common problem that you could even have a standard response. I would likely whisper to my kid to avoid the sick kid.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiredtired
If it is your job to protect your children, I wouldn't bring them to a birthday party.
Ever??
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy
What kind of sickness? The remnants of a two-week-long cold? Kids can have that annoying cough for weeks, and I didn't keep mine home all winter when they were little. Productive or constant cough, green boogers, fever, sore throats, of course we stayed home. Both of my kids tend to hang onto dry coughs for a long time, though, and we would go about our normal lives if they felt fine otherwise.
This is what I was thinking. Those coughs can linger for a long time. As long as there is no fever, they'd be allowed at school, so I'd send them to the party, too. I would think if they were that sick, the kid wouldn't even want to go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII
Just my 2 cents---
Many people depend on parties as their meal of the day
I knew a family who literally wouldn't consume a piece of dried toast if they were going to a party that day. They would say we're getting fed, save that for later!
I used to belong to various groups, such as church, social, etc. When they would have food at the functions, certain people would almost push their way to the front of the line and load their plates 'till they almost toppled over, then eat like they hadn't eaten all day!
Some families, especially large families, depend on social functions as part of their food budget. Less we feel sorry for them, these families were usually at least middle class, not poor by any means! If little Johnny stayed hme from a party, that was one more meal they would have to come up with. And yes, these parents consider cake and ice cream to be a meal!
"Many" people? Doubtful. The money spent on a gift for the party would cost more than the food the kid would consume. If anything, I think lower income families don't even send their kids to parties for that reason.
I think it's ridiculous sending a kid to party if their sick and yes I see it all the time. If the child is a little older the moms just drop them off so they feel its like having a babysitter for 2 hours or so! I would NEVER send my kid that's sick to a party. Just like I wouldn't send my kid to school sick either, but parents do it all the time because once again it's a babysitting issue. It's terrible because it gets other kids sick and then the whole family gets it too. As far as bringing a child that's sick to an adult or family party, I would tell the parent to take their kid home! I've had cousins of mine bring their sick kids to my house. No way, gotta go home. Sorry!
I've seen it and I usually just start up a conversation with the parents of that child and say something along the lines of "Is Jimmy feeling ok? He seems to be coughing a lot." Parents usually offer more information after that such as "Yeah he's had a cold for 3 weeks and the cough just won't go away." I haven't seen a kid with diarrhea or a stomach flu show up at a party though we saw it at daycare quite a bit. I swear in our daycare parents would drug their child up and send them in the morning knowing that they'd be picking the child up as soon as the tylenol wore off. I have coworkers who have admitted to this b/c they both had important work meetings and no family in the state. I told my husband we should start a sick kids emergency childcare company and make a fortune...
We're not germophobes. I have no issues with my son playing with a sick child but I would never bring a sick child around someone else without their consent. It's one thing to take the kid to target to pick up their prescription on the way home from the doctor but quite another to bring them to a birthday party or school.
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and told her that next time she should keep her sick kids at home instead of dragging them out to a party (where all but 2 guests got sick, within days of exposure to the sick child at the party). 
We chalked it up to being the area we lived in. People there were quite aloof and pretentious, so the inconsiderate/selfish act of bringing a sick child to a party seemed appropriate. But now that we're seeing it happen AGAIN in another state and many of you here are confirming this, we now realize that this is just how it is. 
