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Simple solution to the violent video game deal: don't let your kids play video games. Teach them when they're very young that video games are just not appropriate to pass the time and will never be allowed in your house. Don't be a crazed DB about it, just be matter of fact and keep your explanations simple.
Too many kids AND adults waste their lives playing violent, pointless video games and we wonder why everyone is so checked out and less sociable? Rightttt........
There are no video games in our house and never will be. We also tell the parents of their friends that they aren't allowed to play them, too, and to not allow them to go near them. Call us strict, call us whatever, but there is no way my DH and I are going to allow our kids to become video game zombies.
You're funny.
I was part of the first generation of video/computer game users (I'm 42). Started with the Sears version of the Atari 2600 in 1981, and took my first computer class 2 years later. There are a huge variety of non-violent games out there, some of which I played when I was a kid in middle school computer lab, like typing games, and games to learn about history, problem-solving, critical thinking, etc. Oregon Trail is a classic example that combines history, problem-solving and critical thinking skills. I don't think there are too many kids who grew up in the mid-to-late 1980's who didn't play that game if they took a computer class in school. I have the OT II edition, which IMO is the best version because it gives you the most options.
I still play when I can find the time. I have about 30 downloads on my laptop from Big Fish Games, which is a huge data base of games in different modes - Hidden Object, Adventure, Time Management, Card and Board Games, etc, etc. Some of the Time Management games Kick. My. Butt. on the higher levels.
I'm in my 30's and my dad is in his 50's and we'll still play deathmatch games against eachother now and then.
That reminds me of my dad sitting up after we kids had gone to bed, playing the old game "Kaboom!" You had to catch bombs being dropped from the top of the screen, and on each subsequent board the bombs would fall faster. Dad actually got very good at that game! It was the only one he would play!
I know 2nd graders who play a teen game and a 4th grader who plays GTA.
Parents who don't play video games won't care enough to even look at the box in detail to see what's on it. They just skim the cover to look at the cover picture and that's it, if they even skim it at all. If the child wants it, buy it for them. Of if their children's friends are playing it too, then it must be okay.
I'm reminded of an experience I had some years back at the library ......a customer was returning a copy of "Tomb of the Blind Dead", and commented to me that we really needed to have a "parental advisory" warning on that movie. (he seemed a little annoyed)
I really didn't know what to say in response, because it should've been obvious that "Tomb of the Blind Dead" was about zombies, and therefore NOT appropriate for children.
I am not sure this is a parenting thing, more like a human thing. When I worked in retail, dumb a**es came in all shapes and sizes, some parents, some not.
It really does bug me that a small handful of parents are so lax about movie/game/etc content. I remember last year one family took their 3rd and 4th grade kids to see deadpool. So of course it became a huge fight with my son is x can go (same age), why cant he?! Im not trying to go around saying "because x's mom sucks", but I was tempted. I get there is some variation, but the parents who do that aren't making their kid cooler, they are just bothering other parents.
It's not any other parent's job to parent the way you do to make your job easier. My kids are 14 and 16. We no longer screen what they watch. We did when they were younger, but I feel that by high school age, since they are less than four years away from adulthood, they can choose their own media. I have friends who monitor their older teen's movie choices. Fine for them, but don't ask me to tell my 16 year old, who could die for his country in two years, that he can't go see Sausage Party. If you choose not to send your almost-adult along, this is not my problem.
When my kids got mad because their friends were allowed to do something that they weren't (and it still happens today... my teens do not get in the car with teenage drivers), I'd just say, "every family has different rules. When you are an adult, you can have whatever rules you want." I didn't disparage the other parents for making different choices. I knew one woman who didn't have her 3-8 year olds in booster seats in the car. When my kids questioned it, I just said that different families have different rules. If they argued a lot, I sometimes suggested that they could go move in with their friend and follow those rules, if the other parents would take them. That generally ended the discussion. LOL
It's not any other parent's job to parent the way you do to make your job easier. My kids are 14 and 16. We no longer screen what they watch. We did when they were younger, but I feel that by high school age, since they are less than four years away from adulthood, they can choose their own media. I have friends who monitor their older teen's movie choices. Fine for them, but don't ask me to tell my 16 year old, who could die for his country in two years, that he can't go see Sausage Party. If you choose not to send your almost-adult along, this is not my problem.
When my kids got mad because their friends were allowed to do something that they weren't (and it still happens today... my teens do not get in the car with teenage drivers), I'd just say, "every family has different rules. When you are an adult, you can have whatever rules you want." I didn't disparage the other parents for making different choices. I knew one woman who didn't have her 3-8 year olds in booster seats in the car. When my kids questioned it, I just said that different families have different rules. If they argued a lot, I sometimes suggested that they could go move in with their friend and follow those rules, if the other parents would take them. That generally ended the discussion. LOL
I didn't say it was other parent's jobs to make my life easier, I just said it bugged me. Huge difference. Hummmmmm....I wonder if there is a difference between a 9 year old and a 16 year old. I might have to mill that over.
I wont be letting my kids hang out with yours if you are just opening up the porn flood gates since they can watch anything they want now, though.
I didn't say it was other parent's jobs to make my life easier, I just said it bugged me. Huge difference. Hummmmmm....I wonder if there is a difference between a 9 year old and a 16 year old. I might have to mill that over.
I wont be letting my kids hang out with yours if you are just opening up the porn flood gates since they can watch anything they want now, though.
My 16 year old son has probably viewed porn at one time or another, LOL. I have warned him about downloading or accessing anything like that on his computer or phone, but it's likely happened. I don't sit next to him every time he's on the Internet, and he spends a lot of time at other people's houses. Teen boys have been looking at porn since well before I was a teen. He would most definitely not show porn to a nine-year-old. When your son is an older teen, though, I think you'd be deluding yourself if you thought that his friends were not watching porn, even if you're still monitoring your own kid's viewing. Unless you refuse to let him go unaccompanied to friends' houses, there's a very good chance that he will see something you don't want him to.
At what age would you stop watching your kids' every move online and stop making decisions as to which movies they're allowed to watch, though? We have Netflix and Hulu accounts, and I don't tell them they're not allowed to watch R-rated movies. As it is, my son mostly watches South Park and history or travel documentaries. He did ask us what we thought of him watching Borat (we told him the movie's premise and let him make the decision to watch it or not... he chose to watch it). My daughter, 14, mostly watches anime. They've been allowed to make age-appropriate decisions all along, so it's not like they suddenly turned 14 and went wild because prior to that they had only been allowed to watch G-rated cartoons.
You might not know, but I have actually raised 2 boys prior to my little ones...plus a female through her teens (foster). And more. I am not advocating for never letting a kid/young adult choose what they see. With all three raised into adulthood, we stopped parental controls at some point well before 18. It depended on the kid and their specific needs.
My youngest son is nearly 12 and has seen many PG-13 movies...totally depending on the content and how I felt he would process them. Sadly, he also has seen porn. I know this and we have talked about why it isn't healthy. But I don't pretend he wont see it again. I do feel like I have taught him well that it isn't like normal/healthy sex, and that it isn't healthy for his growing brain and explained why. At least he understands that.
My daughter is nearly 11 and is very sensitive. She has seen one PG-13 movie...at home, in the arms of her parents and with the ability to stop if it exceeded her window of tolerance. She is very sensitive.
I think every parent is in charge of choosing what their kid is capable of consuming in media. But I also see a small amount of parents letting their kids watch things way beyond the level of any kid that age. I think, often times, its to help their kid gain social status. And yes...that bugs me. Sorry.
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And hopefully before 18!
