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Note I am not a parent but yesterday I was out eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend and sitting at the table next to us was a woman with her daughter who looked to be 5, or 6. Anyway the daughter started getting antsy, acting grumpy, not really listening etc. The mother started getting frustrated and yelled at her to behave.
Not long after a few cops came in to eat, the mother pointed to them and said "you better behave or those police men will take you to jail". The daughter got real scared and started crying. She stopped messing around though.
What are your thoughts? I think it was not a good thing to do but I am not a parent.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smt18
Note I am not a parent but yesterday I was out eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend and sitting at the table next to us was a woman with her daughter who looked to be 5, or 6. Anyway the daughter started getting antsy, acting grumpy, not really listening etc. The mother started getting frustrated and yelled at her to behave.
Not long after a few cops came in to eat, the mother pointed to them and said "you better behave or those police men will take you to jail". The daughter got real scared and started crying. She stopped messing around though.
What are your thoughts? I think it was not a good thing to do but I am not a parent.
The mom was bring truthful. Disorderly conduct is a crime. My mother did that to me a few times, it worked.
I think its OK to put a scare like this in the little one who is behaving badly, as long as you do it only very occasionally. Threatening the kid with the cops or something every day though would be IMO bad parenting. Especially because at some point the kid would not stop what he was doing and tell you "Well go ahead! Call them. See if I care!"
Dear lord, one time my daughter was 2 or 3 and she was hitting me like crazy in a parking lot. I said "Honey! When people hit other people they police can take them to jail". I was desperate to get her under control...it was a crappy thing to say to a 3 year old. But hey, I am not perfect. I wasnt trying to threaten her, but I was trying to make a point (that hitting people is against the law)
10 seconds later a cop car drove by. She flipped out and started sobbing and clinging to me. Sigh. At least she wasnt pulling down my pants (see another post LOL).
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,742,544 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom
Police do not take fidgety 5 year olds to jail, so no the mom was not being truthful.
The BEHAVIOR can get you taken to jail. Now if you would actually go to jail is a coin flip, but the point is the behavior is out of order and won't be tolerated.
Teaching a very young child that the police will come take them away from their family if they misbehave is lazy parenting that does nothing but instill fear of the police. If sometime that child needs the kind of help a police officer or other figure of authority is in a position to give, how well do you think that child will cooperate?
Kids will occasionally misbehave, throw tantrums etc. I don't think telling them lies about the police taking them away is a positive thing for anyone.
Not to mention, it just sends the message to the child that he or she has more power than the parent. Mom (or dad) can't handle it and needs to call in reinforcements.
Last edited by maciesmom; 10-02-2016 at 05:29 PM..
The BEHAVIOR can get you taken to jail. Now if you would actually go to jail is a coin flip, but the point is the behavior is out of order and won't be tolerated.
No it can't. Not at 5 years old.
Even disorderly adults rarely get taken to jail. Asked to leave? Yes. Maybe ticketed even. Jail? Not usually unless there is a lot more going on.
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My mother did that to me a few times, it worked.
