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OP, I'll back you up. I have a 6 year old with ADHD (per the pediatrician, I'm still not convinced that it's not normal 6 year old behavior) who cannot sit still. He has special accommodations in school to allow him to stand or use a wiggle seat because of this. He just physically cannot sit still, never could. That said in church he can hang for an hour. We do a lot of sitting, standing, kneeling, singing, etc so it's not like he's sitting the entire time. During the sermon he does wiggle around but if we let him stand (we sit in the back) during it he listens for the most part. Or he draws.
You know your kids. If you think they need something to keep them occupied bring something, it will make everyone's life more enjoyable and those sitting near you will be thankful too.
OP, I'll back you up. I have a 6 year old with ADHD (per the pediatrician, I'm still not convinced that it's not normal 6 year old behavior) who cannot sit still. He has special accommodations in school to allow him to stand or use a wiggle seat because of this. He just physically cannot sit still, never could. That said in church he can hang for an hour. We do a lot of sitting, standing, kneeling, singing, etc so it's not like he's sitting the entire time. During the sermon he does wiggle around but if we let him stand (we sit in the back) during it he listens for the most part. Or he draws.
You know your kids. If you think they need something to keep them occupied bring something, it will make everyone's life more enjoyable and those sitting near you will be thankful too.
OP's children are not 6. They are 8, 10 and 11.
Most 8 year olds should, with a discussion about behavior beforehand, be able to sit quietly for an hour. 10 and 11 year olds should be paying attention to the service.
At those ages, one should not have to worry they'd be disruptive to those sitting near them.
So kids those age can sit still for an hour...but are they enjoying their religious experience? Are they connecting with their god? Or are they feelings like they are being punished?
So kids those age can sit still for an hour...but are they enjoying their religious experience? Are they connecting with their god? Or are they feelings like they are being punished?
This thread isn't about whether or not to take kids to church. You obviously have some strong opinions about it, bUT that's not the issue. This is 1 hour. Kids of all ages, all over the world manage to sit quietly for 1 hour 1 time per week.
I have to wonder if this parent knows what is age appropriate behavior. Perhaps one or all do have adhd, or something that the OP is unaware of. Or does she just not know what to expect because she's literally never taken them to a movie, play, concert, or church service before. Sorry. This is mind boggling to me.
Reform Jewish services are really just an hour total (for a standard service - longer for a holiday or special event like a bar mitzvah). In that hour, there are several times with standing as part of the service, which is also a chance to move around a little bit (at your seat) and shake out some of the wiggles. I would also recommend sitting towards the back so that if your kids do move around a bit more than usual, they are less likely to disrupt others. But in reality, almost everyone I know is happy to see children in services and no one expects them to be perfectly behaved.
It's true that the busy bag idea is geared towards younger kids, because most kids by age 8 should be able to handle an hour long service. And it will get easier the more you go, because they will learn the prayers and the songs, including the times where the congregation actively participates and that is more likely to keep their attention. But having said that, I do know people who allow their kid to bring a book to services. It doesn't happen in my small synagogue but it does happen. I would probably wait to observe whether it seems acceptable before you try it though.
And I am very confused why you say its Reform Judaism but keep referring to it as "church"??
It sounds as if your children have been rather sheltered, if they have never attended a movie, play, concert, etc. I am glad you plan to expand their experience by introducing religious services, but do consider adding other age-appropriate activities.
I saw my first movie at age three. I had attended church services - Sunday School, occasionally church - for about a year previously. The first play I recall was seen when I was five. Ditto concerts. My parents prepared me by discussing what to expect and how I should behave.
Just what kind of outside-the-home activities do your children participate in at present? Scouts? Music lessons? Dance instruction? Sports? Many homeschoolers make activities of this kind, along with movies, concerts, plays, etc. a regular part of their children's lives. If you do not already belong to your local homeschool association, I would urge you to check it out in order to enrich your children's cultural and social lives.
And I am very confused why you say its Reform Judaism but keep referring to it as "church"??
Shul, Temple, Synagogue, Church... A building with 4 walls.
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