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I love that I can sit down at our piano and begin playing "Fur Elise" without hesitation, and that I can pull out my book of Clementi's Sonatinas and play all six nearly perfectly.
I can understand that. I spent years in choir. I love that I can sing a Baroque version of "The Prune Song".
I agree with exposing kids to different activites---sports, music, dance, swimming, art, etc. That said, if a child is absolutely miserable when participating in one of those activities, it's time to let them stop. Forcing them to continue (and, yes, if a child asks to stop taking music because they have no interest and the parent won't let them quit, that is forcing it on the child).
Still, by exposing them to different activities, it does give them a chance to find out if they have both the aptitude and the interest. If they find out that they have a passion for a particular activity, they will let you know, then the parents should allow them to continue.
I have a story from my childhood --- When I was 11, I wanted to take guitar lessons. My father found a music school that was a 20 minute drive from our house. I would take lessons twice a week (nights and weekends). This music school knew how to make learning fun for kids and I loved going. Meanwhile, later in the year, my grade in science class dropped which infuriated my father (I didn't flunk). The thing is, I only had the class once a week and thought that I was doing well. He kept asking me over and over why my grade fell. I seriously didn't know and he had me in tears. The next day, I had my guitar lesson and was excitedly telling him about what I learned. His response---that was my last lesson until my science grade improved. I managed to not burst into tears. Well...my science grade went back up (seriously, I didn't know why). I told him I wanted to continue lessons. His response ---not at that school, it was too far away. He hated taking me and waiting the half hour it took for my lessons. Instead, he found a local teacher who was not good. I found I had a hard time getting interested again.
Long story, I know. My point is if your child finds an activity that they are passionate about and their grades suffer, don't take away their activity. Find another solution to the dropping grades (talk to their teachers for suggestions, follow that advice). As a parent, keep on top of things to make sure they are studying enough. If they need a tutor, find one.
Our daughter was exposed to art lessons, swimming classes, dance classes, music lessons. If she had been absolutely miserable taking one of those classes, we would have allowed her to stop. She took swimming lessons until she was able to swim well and she showed no interest in competitive swimming, so she stopped before that level. Had she developed a real passion for any of those activities, we would have nurtured her.
I have a cousin who developed a passion for a particular activity. My aunt and uncle nurtured that while making sure he stayed focused on his school work as well as doing his chores. He is now very prominent in his field of study.
I don't have kids. I started music lessons in 6th grade as that's when my school started the program. I was actually pretty good at it, and the high school I went to had a great program. But everyone knew it wasn't going to be a career for me (and it wasn't).
At some point, I wanted to take horseback riding lessons. Horses were all I ever talked about, since I could talk. I was told they were too expensive (which I thought odd as a girl up the street showed horses and they certainly weren't rich). So for my entire childhood, I rode a horse maybe 4-5 times.
My music stopped in my senior year when the choir teacher became the music director and decided we all needed to take choir (yet choir students didn't have to learn an instrument). We also had to participate in marching band for our grade, which I couldn't do anymore as I had a part time job. So I dropped the program halfway through the year after "failing" the first semester because I missed some of the games.
As an adult I took horseback riding lessons. I also looked up how much music lessons cost (I did take private summer music lessons). Guess what? They were the same price. And they were probably similar in price when I was a kid. No reason why I couldn't have suspended music lessons for a few weeks in the summer for horseback riding lessons.
My point? Let your kids follow their dreams. Sure, it won't kill them to try something. But no need to force them to continue if they want to try something else.
I do force piano lessons from the ages of 4 to 7. I consider it to be one of the best ways to strengthen a growing brain. After age 7, the brain benefits are diminished, and they only have to continue if they enjoy it.
For me, it's like making my kids take their vitamins and eat their veggies. They have to do it because it's good for them. But once they're older, it doesn't matter so much anymore and they should be able to choose.
If parents are forcing it after age 7? Lol. They're way behind.
I know quite a few parents that forces their children starting at age 7 to take music instrument lessons. Do you agree or disagree with this?
I personally think unless the child is gifted or shown interest with music, then it's most likely a waste.
I would never force my child to take any type of lessons that they don't want to do. My younger daughter wanted to take gymnastics. She did it for a few months and then didn't want to do it anymore. No big deal. Then she wanted to take dance. Same thing, after a few months she was no longer interested. I do encourage her to stick with something, but I'm not going to force her!
My middle schooler was told that in 6th grade they MUST either join band or join choir as part of their music grade. We'll see how it goes.
It appears one of my kids is interested in sports naturally while the other one is interested in computers so naturally I may help them pursue those interests. I never forced any of them, it came naturally for them.
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I WISH my parents had forced me to continue music lessons. I am envious of the folks who can play instruments, well. I had a friend who was a great piano and organ player, it was always so much fun when he was around. He could play all kinds of music from traditional to ragtime and popular. He used to be invited to play famous organs in concerts in different places.
Make it fun, but make them stick with it until they are out of high school at least. They may hate you, but they will thank you.
Mom forced my brother and I to play piano. Started at 5 and stopped taking lessons first in year in college. I hated it every step of the way. Hours upon hours of practice, not to mention you lose play time with your friends. But from the years of middle school and beyond, I knew that it was helpful, even if the benefits were not necessarily tangible. They were for my brother and I though because we played competitively and won lots of money...which was put back into a fund to pay for piano lessons lol. $100+/h masterclasses ain't cheap.
I am so thankful that my mom forced us and lucky that we didn't quit. People are so envious when they hear others play instruments, especially with a high level of skill. I often hear people wishing they had, from an early age, learned how to play an instrument, or not quit while they were learning. That being said, it's never too late to learn...just better to start from an early age. Oh yeah...and the ladies like it too
Music lessons are a whole lot more valuable than computer programming lessons.
Computer programming lessons will teach you a set of button-pushing activities that make a machine do what you want it to, which is what it's going to do anyway; and it becomes obsolete when the next operating system comes out. It's also a solitary activity.
Music is a fundamental human activity that has been engaged in since we were humans; requires substantial interaction with other humans at a variety of levels (teacher, fellow student, ensemble member, ensemble director, older/more experienced/ more accomplished musician, prodigy, etc.); regularly humbles you by showing you all that you don't know; and is usable for the rest of your life.
I agree with exposing kids to different activites---sports, music, dance, swimming, art, etc. That said, if a child is absolutely miserable when participating in one of those activities, it's time to let them stop. Forcing them to continue (and, yes, if a child asks to stop taking music because they have no interest and the parent won't let them quit, that is forcing it on the child).
Still, by exposing them to different activities, it does give them a chance to find out if they have both the aptitude and the interest. If they find out that they have a passion for a particular activity, they will let you know, then the parents should allow them to continue.
I have a story from my childhood --- When I was 11, I wanted to take guitar lessons. My father found a music school that was a 20 minute drive from our house. I would take lessons twice a week (nights and weekends). This music school knew how to make learning fun for kids and I loved going. Meanwhile, later in the year, my grade in science class dropped which infuriated my father (I didn't flunk). The thing is, I only had the class once a week and thought that I was doing well. He kept asking me over and over why my grade fell. I seriously didn't know and he had me in tears. The next day, I had my guitar lesson and was excitedly telling him about what I learned. His response---that was my last lesson until my science grade improved. I managed to not burst into tears. Well...my science grade went back up (seriously, I didn't know why). I told him I wanted to continue lessons. His response ---not at that school, it was too far away. He hated taking me and waiting the half hour it took for my lessons. Instead, he found a local teacher who was not good. I found I had a hard time getting interested again.
Long story, I know. My point is if your child finds an activity that they are passionate about and their grades suffer, don't take away their activity. Find another solution to the dropping grades (talk to their teachers for suggestions, follow that advice). As a parent, keep on top of things to make sure they are studying enough. If they need a tutor, find one.
Our daughter was exposed to art lessons, swimming classes, dance classes, music lessons. If she had been absolutely miserable taking one of those classes, we would have allowed her to stop. She took swimming lessons until she was able to swim well and she showed no interest in competitive swimming, so she stopped before that level. Had she developed a real passion for any of those activities, we would have nurtured her.
I have a cousin who developed a passion for a particular activity. My aunt and uncle nurtured that while making sure he stayed focused on his school work as well as doing his chores. He is now very prominent in his field of study.
You're right that it is a very fine balance and it usually works to encourage one activity by withholding something else. However, there needs to be an INTRINSIC motivation to continue something. I've always been against paying for good grades because I LOVED school and I wasn't a straight A student but I enjoyed most every class. I've seen too many kids just working at grades for the money. Some parents would be ecstatic with that but as soon as the payoff ends, they couldn't care less. Love for learning (and music!) should be lifelong.
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