Stop Worrying About your Children! (bullying, ideas, teens, pregnancy)
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Really nice piece on salon.com arguing that childhood is no more dangerous than when we grew up, and that kids are capable of more than we give them credit for.
Thanks for posting this! So true. I feel the vibe from people judging me when I let my kids wander a bit too far.... you know, the "I will report you to CP" kind of vibe. Parents who want children be children, have become the bad guys.
I read that lady's piece in Readers Digest a while back. I thought it was very good. I have to admit I was a little overprotective with my first born but have loosened up a bit now. Not sure about riding the subway at 9yrs. but I suppose it could just be wariness of something unfamiliar. I've never been on a subway or even in a city that has one.
Fifty years ago, 10-year-olds were driving the tractor and shooting varmints with rifles and swimming in rivers, and playing hide-and-go-seek after dark, all without adult supervision.. Have children suddenly become so stupid that they cannot be taught responsibilities?
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
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I remember the park in my neighborhood had lots of sharp edges, 10' drops, rusty metal, etc. etc. If you hurt yourself you ran home, mom put some bactine on it, dad smacked you for being stupid and you went back outside.
I'm a proponent of natural selection over the "softening of nature". The natural selection route is more labor intensive, however, because the parents' job is to step in right before nature tries to select their kid and tan his or her hide to make a point.
I rode trains alone when I was 10. In the school holidays we would go to another city to visit my grandparents. My mum would give the train fare and lunch in a brown paper bag and I would walk 2km to the train station. I would buy a return ticket and ride the train all day. I could get off and explore. I would stand at the open doors and enjoy the speed and the wind rishing by.
I encourage my kids to go out un supervised but I have been taken to task by other parents.
I leave my kids home alone while I go out for short periods say up to an hour. provided the 12yo is home.
4yo not ever left home alone nor roams alone.
7 yo can roam the streets but if they are home alone it is only for about 10 minutes. The idea here is that roaming is OK but they need a safe base to return to and home = safe. Also when 7 yo roams it is either to or from someplace or roam with someone.
I wouild like to paraphrase Dr. Clark Kerr, the former president of the University of California:
"The purpose of parenting is to make children safe for the environment, not to make the environment safe for children."
(His actual statement referred to whether a leftist speaker ought to be allowed to speak at Berkeley. He said "The purpose of the university is to make students safe for ideas, not to make ideas safe for students".)
OMG! I have to get her book! I've read her articles before, and have always found her interesting. I'm going to post the link to this on my facebook page, and email it to everyone I know! People act like we live in crazy times, and actually fall for the media scares, and I just want to scream. We live in very civilized times now - no more bearbaiting, public executions, child labor, etc. Our kids (boys and girls!) can go to school for as long as they like, as long as they can finance it. Every year I try to tell people that tainted Halloween candy is an urban legend, but as long as the media continues to scream, we all continue to listen.
Again - thank you so much for posting the link to this!
the world has changed from when we were young!
they are at no more risk of paedo.s ,accidents,or bullying than we were.
But the amount of traffic on the road is greater .
with teens(and some younger) the expectation of sexual gratification from boys(maybe from viewing porn on the internet)makes some girls become become sexually active too young.(...more likely with laidback parents where kids are hanging round at parks etc?)leading to a rise in clamydia/pregnancy etc much more damaging to a 13 yr old than a scraped knee.maybe i'm a lot older ,but when iwas young,boys hoped,now they expect.
atmy daughter's school,the geography teacher asked for a 11 yr olds boys phone in a lesson and on it were naked pictures of most of the girls in the class room.
our children face pressures i didn't have until 17
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