Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If the parents ban him from talking to her, that's controlling his life.
And while he is living under their roof and they are paying to feed and clothe him and are paying for the phone he is using to talk to her in the middle of the night, they have the right to make the rules he has to live under. They could have stipulated that he could still talk to her, but it has to be during normal hours, and only in their earshot. They reserved the right to decide who their child can associate with, and they obviously decided this was not a healthy situation for him to he in. If he doesn't like that, he can move out after graduating high school (yeah, good luck trying to support himself with only a HS education!) and be free to make his own rules.
It's probably different in interior Alaska where getting caught stranded in the winter could kill a 15-year old and not a 21-year old, but in normal climates, that's not the case.
Most maturity comes from 10 to 15 and then again from 21 to 25.
But not much changes between 15 and 21.
I have to ask if you've raised teens? There can be a huge difference between 16 and 18. A 16 year old is still in high school, still having pretty much everything provided by the parents. Many 18 year olds are out of high school, in college, and even if not self-supporting, have a lot better idea of what the world is all about. And 15 to 21? Good grief, that's six years!
Mark Twain: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/784...-my-father-was
" “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.” "
A few weeks ago our son casually mentioned that he has been chatting with a 40 year old woman online. I tried not to overreact. I asked him what they chat about. He said they both play the same online video game and initially, they just talked about that. Then it veered off into music, movies and books. Then she told him that she is in the midst of a difficult divorce. Sshe lives about 400 miles away.
We were really happy that he volunteered this information, which indicated he wasn't being secretive about it. We decided the best course was to keep the lines of communication open and just make sure he keeps us informed. We had a long talk about internet safety, cat fishing, etc.
We make him turn in his cellphone before bed every night, so he isn't up all hours of the night. My husband noticed that he does delete his text conversations with this woman.
So, yesterday we looked at the landline phone bill.
He has been talking to her on the phone in the middle of the night. Once, on a Monday night, he had a FIVE HOUR conversation with her. Twice, he had two hour conversations after midnight. This is all in the past two weeks.
We sat him down and confronted him with this. I did a search on Facebook of her phone number. She does have the name and age that she told him, but she still identifies as "married" on her FB profile. We have a difficult time believing that this "relationship" has not veered off into inappropriate territory. He swears up and down they are just friends. We are also concerned her husband is going to look at THEIR phone bill and try to find the person his wife has been chatting with in the middle of the night. I told my son that he needs to think hard about ending this. My husband said, "No thinking is required - END IT". I didn't want to be harsh, because usually that just causes teens to sneak around and do stuff behind your back.
My husband wants to call her just in case she isn't aware that he is only sixteen. I'm worried about losing our son's trust, but I see his point. I'm really not sure where to go from here.
Tell him to get an afterschool jobs at mcdonalds and pay the long distance phone bill.
Tell him to get an afterschool jobs at mcdonalds and pay the long distance phone bill.
Read the thread.
1. The long distance was free on the land line.
2. The situation has been resolved as they called the woman and blocked her from his phone with his consent.
More ethical obtuseness. Don't be afraid to just say something is WRONG. Again, there is a higher standard for right and wrong than just "what is legal." I don't care what they were talking about, although her comment about "waiting till he's 18" gives a good idea. The big giveaway is that they were HIDING it. Most parents strive to instill decent behavior too, and deception doesn't fall under that category.
I'm guessing you're not a parent, about 22 years old?
That's funny. I was just thinking she's probably around 40, and recently had a 5 hour phone conversation with a 16 year old boy she met online while gaming.
1. The long distance was free on the land line.
2. The situation has been resolved as they called the woman and blocked her from his phone with his consent.
They ruined his relationship...I was trying to shave it.
IMO, NO ONE should be getting into an intimate relationship without first sitting down with the other person and ironing out EXACTLY how they are going to handle whatever results from that relationship, namely a pregnancy. If they can't handle such an unromantic, unsexy conversation they have no business taking their clothes off.
You know any 18 year olds who can handle that discussion? Me neither. There are too many older adults who can't handle it.
Kids? She's 24 years older than him...for crying out loud. By the time he graduates college she will be near menopause...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The big giveaway is that they were HIDING it. Most parents strive to instill decent behavior too, and deception doesn't fall under that category.