How do you feel about ex husband's girlfriend attending your kid's parent-teacher conference? (custody, games)
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Why would any non-parent even want to go to something like that? You might check with the teacher and see if that's even allowed. There may be things they can't discuss with a non-parent there. Why did you even send the invite for the pta meeting to him? If he wants to go, he can surely figure it out himself.
My ex-husband wanted to invite his girlfriend of just a few months (she wanted to) to my kid's parent-teacher conference. Knowing his track record of unable to maintain a lasting relationship, I didn't want to confuse my kid. I told him after they've been together for at least a year, and still seriously want to be together, or after they're engaged/married to show me that this woman will be a significant part in my kid life, then she can attend these PTA meetings with us. These meetings are for teacher and parents only. That was a few months ago when the 1st meeting came up. Now, when I sent an invite for him to attend my kid's second PTA meeting, he forwarded to her, like I invited her. She thanked me and said she planned to attend. I replied to clarify that this meeting is for parents and teacher only, and my ex invited her although I already told him the above. I was very disappointed to say the least. I also emailed my ex and said that I'd appreciate that he'd check with me about things regarding my kid, and respect what we discussed. Was I wrong for feeling or acting this way?
While I understand your not wanting the gf to attend, why do you think you get to decide when his gf meets your criteria and gets to attend?
We share 50/50 custody, so sometimes, the notice came home to me first. We are usually cordial and keep our communications opened. We even work in the same company, so we invite each other whenever the info comes. I think he tries to make her feel important. She doesn't have kids of her own, but likes to be a mom to my kid. She is nice to my kid (she moved in with my ex after weeks of dating, but they've known each other before as co-wokers). My kid likes her, but doesn't like it when she tries to act like a mom at my ex's house.
While I understand your not wanting the gf to attend, why do you think you get to decide when his gf meets your criteria and gets to attend?
I just want to let my ex know that I'm not opposed to her attending my kid's PTA meeting once she'll
knows that she'll stick around in my kid's life. That criteria will show that my ex trusts her to be around, and not just some fling of his.
When you read through the threads here from people who are uninterested in their girlfriend's child, or don't want to be a parent to the step children, or things like that, it's actually nice to hear about someone who is trying that hard to be part of your child's life.
I understand why it makes you uncomfortable, but she's already living with your ex and your child is spending half of his time there, so your kid is unlikely to become any more confused if she's attending school meetings too. She doesn't have to be your enemy...aren't you glad that your ex didn't pick someone who would be cold and indifferent to your child? You'll always be the mother and always come first with your kid, and the ex's girlfriend having a relationship with your child isn't diminishing your relationship with your child in any way.
This is an easy one. Of course she should not be there. He had no business even forwarding the email to her. It's a parent-teacher conference about your and your husband's child, for heaven's sake! And, as the OP above said, why would this chick want to be there, anyway? Is it to ruffle your feathers, maybe? Or maybe it's his twisted way of trying to upset you? Either way, it's an asinine idea. If he still insists on bringing her maybe you can insist she wait in the hallway while you and your ex meet with your son's teacher. Maybe the teacher will even back you up on this?
Location: IN>Germany>ND>OH>TX>CA>Currently NoVa and a Vacation Lake House in PA
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Girlfriend=NO or grey area, Wife of Father=YES
Once you become a step-parent you are indeed part of the family and should be involved in such things. I am more of a father to my step-daughter than her father ever was. I am the one that drove her to the ER during a snow storm when we got 3 1/2 feet of snow, I'm the one that goes to her school concerts, I am the one that talks to her everyday, etc. I have attended several counseling sessions along with parent-teacher conferences and intend to keep doing so for the benefit of my step-daughter. How it affects her biological father is less of a concern to me.
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