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Old 02-03-2017, 05:07 PM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,015,649 times
Reputation: 32725

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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1to1onto View Post
Quick update. Thank you for all your responses. I see that most of you are no my side, which I feel very grateful for(though I'm not too fond of the people telling me it's my fault he's behaving the way he is). My son took me seriously and has now managed to land a job in his field to triple his previous salary. He's also been staying out of my way a lot more. He spends most of the time in his room, and eats out a lot or with friends so I can eat dinner in peace.
How sad. I think, going forward, you will have plenty of alone time.

 
Old 02-03-2017, 05:12 PM
 
Location: Queens, NY
4,525 posts, read 3,381,751 times
Reputation: 6030
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1to1onto View Post
Quick update. Thank you for all your responses. I see that most of you are no my side, which I feel very grateful for(though I'm not too fond of the people telling me it's my fault he's behaving the way he is). My son took me seriously and has now managed to land a job in his field to triple his previous salary. He's also been staying out of my way a lot more. He spends most of the time in his room, and eats out a lot or with friends so I can eat dinner in peace.
Now I can't help but feel this is a troll thread (not that I didn't before).

You posted this on 1/31. You mean to tell me in 3 days, he managed to get a job that triples his current salary?
 
Old 02-03-2017, 05:48 PM
 
13,975 posts, read 25,815,937 times
Reputation: 39851
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1to1onto View Post
Quick update. Thank you for all your responses. I see that most of you are no my side, which I feel very grateful for(though I'm not too fond of the people telling me it's my fault he's behaving the way he is). My son took me seriously and has now managed to land a job in his field to triple his previous salary. He's also been staying out of my way a lot more. He spends most of the time in his room, and eats out a lot or with friends so I can eat dinner in peace.
What a crock. If your son really landed a great job in less than a week, it was because he applied well before your initial post. I hope he did though, so he can slam the door behind him.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
How sad. I think, going forward, you will have plenty of alone time.
Me too. I await the thread about the lonely mother who doesn't understand why her kid never visits.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356 View Post
Now I can't help but feel this is a troll thread (not that I didn't before).

You posted this on 1/31. You mean to tell me in 3 days, he managed to get a job that triples his current salary?
 
Old 02-03-2017, 06:27 PM
 
13 posts, read 17,187 times
Reputation: 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356 View Post
Now I can't help but feel this is a troll thread (not that I didn't before).

You posted this on 1/31. You mean to tell me in 3 days, he managed to get a job that triples his current salary?
First of all, I posted this on 1/30. Starting on that day, he took his job search more seriously. He got an interview on Wednesday and got an email telling him that he received the job today.
 
Old 02-03-2017, 07:21 PM
 
Location: NC
3,441 posts, read 2,777,941 times
Reputation: 8479
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1to1onto View Post
First of all, I posted this on 1/30. Starting on that day, he took his job search more seriously. He got an interview on Wednesday and got an email telling him that he received the job today.
No background check or drug test at 3X the pay? That's pretty amazing. Congrats. I hope he finds a great place of his own and stops impeding your happiness.
 
Old 02-03-2017, 08:22 PM
 
723 posts, read 996,398 times
Reputation: 616
Default Sell

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1to1onto View Post
So my son, who just turned 23, graduated from college a few months ago. I told him he was welcome to stay with me as long as he wanted. Big mistake.

My husband and I divorced many many years ago, and I raised my son in an apartment. I still live in this apartment, and while I missed my son when he was away at college, I loved having my own space. Things are now back to the way they way were before they went to college, except that he's a 23-year-old man instead of a teenage boy.

He's managed to get some very low-paying jobs with his degree, but doesn't earn enough to contribute a lot. He's an adult now and I have no obligation to let him live with me. So the other day, I told him that he had 2 months to find another place. And he hit the ceiling.

He told me I was selfish and didn't love him, and also called me a traitor and other horrific things. He said all this instead of thanking me for letting him stay under my roof for 8 months. How does he not understand me wanting my own space after 23 years? I took having my own space for granted when he was at college, which is why I said he could return for as long as he wanted, but now I realize what a luxury I had and that I really want it back.

Surely he must understand my need for peace and independence.
Put your house on the market, have a couple open houses when he isn't expecting it. He will get out. When he does pull it off the market. Oh by the way put it on for a high price that you would be happy to move if you got that offer. Also, only sign a 60 day contract with the realtor. 60 days for a signed contract.
 
Old 02-03-2017, 08:41 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,055 posts, read 106,836,948 times
Reputation: 115795
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1to1onto View Post
First of all, I posted this on 1/30. Starting on that day, he took his job search more seriously. He got an interview on Wednesday and got an email telling him that he received the job today.
So the whole thread was much ado about nothing? He'd already taken matters into his own hands, and successfully so? A week of complaining to strangers, for nothing? Apparently, you underestimate him. How sad for him.
 
Old 02-03-2017, 09:02 PM
 
Location: Midland, MI
510 posts, read 712,573 times
Reputation: 1138
What is wrong with expecting an adult to at least contribute to the household and then actually get his own place? He may be hurt and have said many nasty things but I bet in about 10 years (or even sooner) he'll realize that you did the right thing.

Allowing a young person to mooch is NOT doing them any good. Amazing what you come up with when money is tight.
 
Old 02-03-2017, 09:07 PM
 
Location: Midland, MI
510 posts, read 712,573 times
Reputation: 1138
Oh, right, let's all jump on the original poster. She's the anti-christ and lying to boot. Geez people, apparently something worked out here! What is so awful about a parent wanting her own life (and her son to have one too?) I remember my parents asking me to contribute to tuition and honestly that hadn't occurred to me before - duh, we are all pretty dumb when young.
 
Old 02-03-2017, 11:58 PM
 
Location: Riverside Ca
22,146 posts, read 33,197,505 times
Reputation: 35433
Quote:
Originally Posted by natiam View Post
You sound like such a selfish and cold hearted mom. He's not a random stranger, he's your son for goodness sake. You already said he doesn't make enough to contribute, so you're basically telling him to hit the streets.
And on the other hand the wonderful son doesn't exactly seem to be pounding the pavement looking for work, and is taking FULL advantage of mom to carry him.
You're telling me that a adult with a college degree can't make enough money to rent a room with some roommates? Bull.

I'm totally behind OP to tell the son to move out and get his own place. The OP post is exactly the reason I don't rent to family or friends. Because this is what WILLhappen. There will be a time when rent will be short or they can't make rent. One month. Then another down the road. Then another. Then it would simply THE NORM because its just Uncle Electrician, it's ok, I'll talk to him. He won't do anything. Everyone would play the friend or family card. Then I would be the bad guy because I started eviction or kicked them out.

And before you start with it's not gonna happen I KNOW it will because it already did. That's why I do not enter into ANY business arrangement with friends or family. I was burned enough times that I learned. Nobody even bothers asking me. Which is perfectly fine
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