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So our DD's bday is coming up soon. Last year was her first birthday party ever. We invited her whole pre-k class, spend a lot of money for one at one of those bday centers and half came. She had a blast. This year we planned on throwing her one again. but somewhere much less expensive. We were not going to invite the whole class, but instead all the girls, there's 10. And I'm banking that half won't come like last year. She doesn't have any cousins/ no outside children to invite except for 1 girl in her dance class who she went to school with last year.
The only reason I was iffy about it now is bc DD has not been invited to ANY birthday parties from her class this year, which I did find a little strange. Last year, she had been invited to 4. I know for a fact she's very social, get told this by her teacher all the time. and def. has many friends. She has a best friend whom she talks about often. I'm not "friends" with any of the parents and find some to be a little cliquey. At class parties, there is one group whose kids were in the same class last year (dd went to a different preschoool) who all stay by one another and don't socialize with anyone else. And there's like one or two moms I've chit chatted with here or there. I know there was one party she was not invited to in the beginning of the school year and her and this girl are very good friends now.
So, would the fact that she wasn't invited to any parties deter you from throwing her a party if she really wanted one? Since she takes the bus to and from school I'm not at the school to hand the invites out. I was going to just ask the teacher to put the invites in the girls folders.
Have the party. I think maybe kids sometimes they didn't get invited to other kids parties because sometimes parents skirt the rules and don't invite everyone from the class. Some parents simply don't throw parties. I know I don't every year. It doesn't matter what the other kids do. If this is something you and your daughter want, then do it.
Have the party. Invite as many girls as you can, and be glad for those who do come. Stop reading into it. Your daughter won't notice and won't care because she will be so excited about HER birthday party, one of the greatest days in the kid year.
When I look back at photos from some of my sons' parties over the years, some of them included the motliest groups of friends, neighbors, relatives and classmates. But my kids didn't care and, honestly, after a couple of years didn't even remember the guest list.
We do a neighborhood party, just the kids from our hood come over have some fun and some cake. Basically any other weekend day, add cake. I have never allowed the girls/boys only thing, everyone is invited, siblings included, it's laid back and everyone gets to know their neighbors.
Have the party. We had the same thought and it turns out our school doesn't allow you to share parents' contact info so many don't invite classmates because they can't get the Evite out. We invited a hodgepodge of classmates and neighbors and everyone had a blast. Literally everyone showed up too!
My children were born in May and July and when they were in kindergarten, at a city & suburb wide magnet school, they each had a small "new friends" party in November so I would get to meet some of their good friends and their parents. It was just like a birthday party (food, cake and games) but without presents.
It was a great way to make connections. The good friends that my children had in kindergarten ended up being their friends for many years. And, their parents ended up being good friends to us, as well.
One funny thing was that my son couldn't have picked friends that lived farther away if he would have taken a map and put in pins at the most distance points of all his classmates. Of the group of five best friends, no one lived closer than 30 minutes from each other and our son lived a 45 to 60 minute drive (depending on the time of day) from two of the them. Quite a challenge to get the children together for play dates. And, quite a difference from children attending most neighborhood schools, where it might be an easy walk or short drive to see your classmates.
So our DD's bday is coming up soon. Last year was her first birthday party ever. We invited her whole pre-k class, spend a lot of money for one at one of those bday centers and half came. She had a blast. This year we planned on throwing her one again. but somewhere much less expensive. We were not going to invite the whole class, but instead all the girls, there's 10. And I'm banking that half won't come like last year. She doesn't have any cousins/ no outside children to invite except for 1 girl in her dance class who she went to school with last year.
The only reason I was iffy about it now is bc DD has not been invited to ANY birthday parties from her class this year, which I did find a little strange. Last year, she had been invited to 4. I know for a fact she's very social, get told this by her teacher all the time. and def. has many friends. She has a best friend whom she talks about often. I'm not "friends" with any of the parents and find some to be a little cliquey. At class parties, there is one group whose kids were in the same class last year (dd went to a different preschoool) who all stay by one another and don't socialize with anyone else. And there's like one or two moms I've chit chatted with here or there. I know there was one party she was not invited to in the beginning of the school year and her and this girl are very good friends now.
So, would the fact that she wasn't invited to any parties deter you from throwing her a party if she really wanted one? Since she takes the bus to and from school I'm not at the school to hand the invites out. I was going to just ask the teacher to put the invites in the girls folders.
At this age, if I wasn't friends with the parents, the kid wasn't invited. We always made a point to speak with the parents of kids that my kid was friends with.
I would wonder if others have the same "rule."
I wouldn't send out invites at school, get her hopes up and have no one show, because no one knows who YOU are. I'd pick three kids, than CALL/text/email the parents and ask. Personally. Most parents don't hand out invites anymore. It's either FB, evite or text.
You may have to put in some effort.
Doesn't she play with any kids outside of school? How do you not know any of the parents? I work FT but you HAVE to make an effort at this age to get to know people, for your kid's sake.
At this age, if I wasn't friends with the parents, the kid wasn't invited. We always made a point to speak with the parents of kids that my kid was friends with.
I would wonder if others have the same "rule."
I wouldn't send out invites at school, get her hopes up and have no one show, because no one knows who YOU are. I'd pick three kids, than CALL/text/email the parents and ask. Personally. Most parents don't hand out invites anymore. It's either FB, evite or text.
You may have to put in some effort.
Doesn't she play with any kids outside of school? How do you not know any of the parents? I work FT but you HAVE to make an effort at this age to get to know people, for your kid's sake.
Um, no she doesn't play with the kids outside of school unless we see them at the park. And of course then I'll chat with the moms. She gets her playtime in with the kids at school. We keep our weekends for activities, family time and she's content playing with her sister. I'm not sure how you find that odd. I didn't start going over school friends houses until I was much older. And she is thriving and completely happy getting her "friend" time in at school.
And by "knowing" the parents, I meant on a personal level. I never said that the parents don't know me by face or like I put in my original post that I have chatted with a few, but not the majority of them. Last year for her pre-k party, there were maybe 2 parents who I'd ever "spoken" with at school, and yet half the class showed up. Many of those parents, them attending the party was the first time I had ever really had a conversation with them. The parents stay for for these parties, so bc I'm not buddy buddy with them, I don't feel like it would make any difference. My kids friends can be soley my kids friends. Unless it's something like a sleepover, we don't have to be best friends with the parents. I had a ton of friends growing up, all from school, and I was raised by my grandparents so bc of the generational gap, they were not "close" with the other parents. But it didn't stop me from having and keeping friends.
EVERY party my DD was invited to last year, it was from a hand given invite which was put in DD's folder at school by her teacher. And her invites were paper invites as well. Actually, I think a FB invite or text for ANY party is highly impersonal.
My children were born in May and July and when they were in kindergarten, at a city & suburb wide magnet school, they each had a small "new friends" party in November so I would get to meet some of their good friends and their parents. It was just like a birthday party (food, cake and games) but without presents.
It was a great way to make connections. The good friends that my children had in kindergarten ended up being their friends for many years. And, their parents ended up being good friends to us, as well.
One funny thing was that my son couldn't have picked friends that lived farther away if he would have taken a map and put in pins at the most distance points of all his classmates. Of the group of five best friends, no one lived closer than 30 minutes from each other and our son lived a 45 to 60 minute drive (depending on the time of day) from two of the them. Quite a challenge to get the children together for play dates. And, quite a difference from children attending most neighborhood schools, where it might be an easy walk or short drive to see your classmates.
Yes, we still are going to have the party. That's a cute idea what you did too.
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