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Honestly? I worry more about catastrophic car accidents.
This^
I carry a concealed weapon for safety sometimes, but I'll never own an older vehicle or a little economy car because of safety. The same will go for my children when they're old enough to drive.
The biggest threat your children face is an auto accident. Dead or permanently injured is forever...............
How do people feel about their sons getting the **** beat out of them for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time? That's far more likely than rape or sexual assault is
How do people feel about their sons getting the **** beat out of them for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time? That's far more likely than rape or sexual assault is
Is it? I know its anncedotal, but I don't know any men who have had the "**** best out of them for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time." I do however know a number of women who have been sexually assaulted. I've always had more friends that were male then female, its not that I just know more women. And being in a fight dosnt have the social stigma that sexual assault does, so I wouldnt think as many men would keep it a secret like what happens with those who are sexually assualted.
I was raped. I was wearing jeans and a tshirt. I had one beer while hanging out with my roomate, her boyfriend, and some of their other friends in the house we were renting. I went up to my room when everyone else had gone next door to smoke. While they were gone, one of the guys came up to my room and raped me. We were somewhat friends, I had liked the guy, so we had previously kissed. While raping me he told me that I just didnt know what I wanted, and since I had shown interest in him before, this is what I must want.
So tell me, what did I do to make it my fault? Should I have never had anything to drink in my own home? Should I have taken up smoking so I wasnt alone? Should I not be able to kiss a guy without him taking it further? I'm not "trotting around on a its not my fault high horse". It simply was not my fault. Despite what people tried to say, I did nothing wrong. And trust me, I thought about it a million times wondering how things could have been different. Rapes happen, and it is no ones fault but the rapists.
I'm so sorry for your experience, and though you (seemingly) understand it now,... it wasn't your fault.
I'll say it mostly for all the posters who think that maybe it was or sexual assault is at least partially the woman's fault. It isn't. It wasn't her fault. It was her rapist's fault. Not a difficult concept.
How do people feel about their sons getting the **** beat out of them for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time? That's far more likely than rape or sexual assault is
Few things are worse on a person emotionally than being sexually assaulted, especially raped.
1 out of 5 or 6 American woman has been the victim of rape or attempted rape. For other types of sexual assault, it's even more. Almost half of all women in the US have experienced sexual violence other than rape.
I think part of the problem is that people don't understand how diverse rape is. They tend to think being dragged into an alley or van by some random, or "having sex" while too drunk. Rape happens in many many ways, and usually the victim knows her rapist. Not to mention other types of sexual assault...
There is a HUGE difference between a cat call and rape. It is weird to have them included in the same sentence as if they are related.
Simply put, they're both forms of unwanted sexual attention. Yeah, some forms of cat calling can maybe be considered harmless. But Ive had men say sexual things to me and then get angry and start following me when I didnt acknowledge them. Or I had a guy say something out his window, u turn, and follow me as he continued to "cat call" out his window. Its a scary and dangerous situation to be in. They may just be words, but it can lead to something more violent. Even if it doesnt, it can still cause a woman to become fearful.
Simply put, they're both forms of unwanted sexual attention. Yeah, some forms of cat calling can maybe be considered harmless. But Ive had men say sexual things to me and then get angry and start following me when I didnt acknowledge them. Or I had a guy say something out his window, u turn, and follow me as he continued to "cat call" out his window. Its a scary and dangerous situation to be in. They may just be words, but it can lead to something more violent. Even if it doesnt, it can still cause a woman to become fearful.
I once had a guy smile huge, creepily, and waggle his eyebrows at me when I walked by him, his eyes on me the whole time we passed on the sidewalk. I was 12.
Simply put, they're both forms of unwanted sexual attention. Yeah, some forms of cat calling can maybe be considered harmless. But Ive had men say sexual things to me and then get angry and start following me when I didnt acknowledge them. Or I had a guy say something out his window, u turn, and follow me as he continued to "cat call" out his window. Its a scary and dangerous situation to be in. They may just be words, but it can lead to something more violent. Even if it doesnt, it can still cause a woman to become fearful.
One is a felony and the other isn't even a crime. And some women it's unwanted, others are flattered. I guess I grew used to it, but also found out if I turned to them straight on and gave them "the" look, they apologized pretty darn fast. But yes there are creeps, and the guys that make you uncomfortable. Probably the same kind of guys that bully guys too.
I've had a guy whisper things to me all night in a club (I would leave for bathroom or play pool, etc.), I could barely make it out, but it crass and vulgar. I marched right up and told his friends, and they made him apologize to me.
I guess what I teach young women is to walk with your head up, make eye contact, speak up (do not talk to me, etc.), and walk to the nearest safe spot (into a restaurant, etc) if you feel unsafe. Do not be vulnerable around strangers (drunk, etc.).
Just for the record, I have had women in bars say some pretty vulgar stuff hitting on women.
Bullies are bullies, to men and women. Women are possible a tad more of a target (I fought off an attempted rape, and was molested by my 4th grade teacher), but I think we need toughen up a tad too.
YMMV
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One is a felony and the other isn't even a crime. And some women it's unwanted, others are flattered. I guess I grew used to it, but also found out if I turned to them straight on and gave them "the" look, they apologized pretty darn fast. But yes there are creeps, and the guys that make you uncomfortable. Probably the same kind of guys that bully guys too.
I've had a guy whisper things to me all night in a club (I would leave for bathroom or play pool, etc.), I could barely make it out, but it crass and vulgar. I marched right up and told his friends, and they made him apologize to me.
I guess what I teach young women is to walk with your head up, make eye contact, speak up (do not talk to me, etc.), and walk to the nearest safe spot (into a restaurant, etc) if you feel unsafe. Do not be vulnerable around strangers (drunk, etc.).
Just for the record, I have had women in bars say some pretty vulgar stuff hitting on women.
Bullies are bullies, to men and women. Women are possible a tad more of a target (I fought off an attempted rape, and was molested by my 4th grade teacher), but I think we need toughen up a tad too.
YMMV
You were simply lucky. Sundaydrive00 was very unlucky.
Simply put, they're both forms of unwanted sexual attention. Yeah, some forms of cat calling can maybe be considered harmless. But Ive had men say sexual things to me and then get angry and start following me when I didnt acknowledge them. Or I had a guy say something out his window, u turn, and follow me as he continued to "cat call" out his window. Its a scary and dangerous situation to be in. They may just be words, but it can lead to something more violent. Even if it doesnt, it can still cause a woman to become fearful.
After my attacker was arrested ( before the trial) his brother followed me around for a while. He never approached me... just made sure I saw him, and then he'd disappear. There was nothing that the police could do as he hadn't committed any crime. Couldn't even be charged with witness intimidation, because he never approached or threatened me. I told the DA that I did feel intimidated and I was in fear of my safety, but what he was doing didn't meet the standards for WI. I couldn't even get a restraining order against him.
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