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What's kind of dumb, is assuming your situation is applicable to everyone's.
And if being a SAHM works for you, yippee! Go nuts, stay at home all you want.
But pretending that your choice is the "correct" one is as stupid as someone telling you that yours is the wrong one.
My daughter was born when my husband and I were still in grad school. She was in daycare 2-3 days a week, for 3-4 hrs a day on and off for most of the toddler years. And the kicker? I didn't need to work. Technically, neither of us "need" to work, but I am realistic enough to know that our financial situation is not applicable to other people, and would not remotely pretend to know what is best for their families. Odd that you think you do.
I work because I enjoy it. When my daughter was young, we arranged our schedules to limit her time in daycare, but I feel zero guilt for having her in there occasionally. And why would I? Like most daughters of working mothers she has been a high achieving student, has surpassed her peers in education level, is in a great grad program, and is happy healthy well adjusted adult (well as well adjusted as a grad student cane be). But unlike the WM bashers on here, I know that most of that success is due to her SES, having a stable two parent home environment, and only minimally influenced by whether or not I worked when she was a baby.
This is what I mean. Having children while both parents are in grad school is the absolute height of bad decision making and irresponsibility. The day care was a reaction to a poor choice. And that is what we will usually see when we examine most day care situations. There is usually a "doing things backwards and out of order" that leads to it. Then the guilt sets in and the hysterical self-righteous "I couldn't help it, life isn't predictable" nonsense gets trotted out.
The absolute truth of it is that over the last 50 years most women have been brainwashed into thinking a career is more important than raising an infant. And before you flame me, re-read all these posts about women who chose work over kids. Why? Work is more important for XYZ reasons.
Socrates — 'When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.'
The absolute truth of it is that over the last 50 years most women have been brainwashed into thinking a career is more important than raising an infant. And before you flame me, re-read all these posts about women who chose work over kids. Why? Work is more important for XYZ reasons.
Sanctimonious much? Most? Where do you get that information? Your spidey senses? No one is brainwashed into thinking anything, most people just realize this is not 1950, and women can make decisions for themselves.
I have primarily been a SAHM. Do you know why? Because it was a decision made by myself and my partner, and we decided that it was the best decision for OUR family. Was it the best decision? Time will tell. Is it something every family should do? It's none of my damned business how other family live their lives.
I think we can move on. Everyone's opinion has been expressed, so we are starting to go in circles. In my opinion, the SAHPs are at the top of the pyramid and deserve all the respect and admiration for running their lives correctly and making it happen for their kids. If you can't personally raise them, then don't have them. If someone has a 3 year old kid and really and truly doesn't want to be home with them, then they are not parental material and should never have had kids. That's just a fact.
Do you get off the farm much?
My son and daughter-in-law are both health professionals and have their daughter in daycare. Granted, it is an expensive daycare, but the social environment and experiences that she has been exposed to did not occur when I was a child when the majority of mothers were stay at home moms.
This is what I mean. Having children while both parents are in grad school is the absolute height of bad decision making and irresponsibility. The day care was a reaction to a poor choice. And that is what we will usually see when we examine most day care situations. There is usually a "doing things backwards and out of order" that leads to it. Then the guilt sets in and the hysterical self-righteous "I couldn't help it, life isn't predictable" nonsense gets trotted out.
So, I assume you abstain from sex outside of marriage, when in school, when not adequately employed, and always have.
The day I take parenting advice from an unmarried non-parent who consistently posts misogynistic codswallop out of 1952 Reader's Digest.....please send help. You'll know I have been invaded by a pod person.
My son and daughter-in-law are both health professionals and have their daughter in daycare. Granted, it is an expensive daycare, but the social environment and experiences that she has been exposed to did not occur when I was a child when the majority of mothers were stay at home moms.
Sorry dear, they are doing the wrong thing. And you probably know it in your heart of hearts.
So, I assume you abstain from sex outside of marriage, when in school, when not adequately employed, and always have.
What does sex have to do with anything? One can have sex without getting pregnant. And if an unwanted pregnancy results, abortions are available to correct the mistake. Or adoption if abortion is against one's religious convictions. I personally have no problem with abortion, but some people do.
The day I take parenting advice from an unmarried non-parent who consistently posts misogynistic codswallop out of 1952 Reader's Digest.....please send help. You'll know I have been invaded by a pod person.
Codswallop. Now that's a cool word. I might use that in other posts.
What does sex have to do with anything? One can have sex without getting pregnant. And if an unwanted pregnancy results, abortions are available to correct the mistake. Or adoption if abortion is against one's religious convictions. I personally have no problem with abortion, but some people do.
I'll have to tell my son he was a "mistake".
I guess it's a good thing you have no control over our choices. I wonder if that keeps you awake at night. All these moms in the workplace who should be barefoot in the kitchen. -shudder-
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