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Not as well adjusted/happy as your kids are I'm sure, macie.
It's not funny. If you can't even tell us why you working outside the home is ok, but us working outside the home is not, then you don't have much of an argument.
A membership the YMCA is not in my family's budget. As a stay at home mom I don't get a paycheck so we have to be extra careful with our finances. It's one of the cons of being a stay at home mom. None of my local rec centers offer child care. Gym childcare is not available to all as you imply.
An hour for lunch in an 8 to 5 job is pretty standard. If you don't get a lunch then you generally still work an 8 hour day (8 to 4 or 7 to 5). Not a bad trade. At my last job I got a half hour. I brought my lunch everyday. I haven't been out of the work force for that long and I still know a lot of people in it. I'm not that out of touch. No need to be rude.
I have been speaking about infants and young babies, not preschoolers or school aged children in all of my posts that you have responded to so yes, that was the topic at hand.
Nobody ever said that EVERY SAHM goes to the gym for 2 hours every day. You questioned whether or not care for infants was even available at gyms. I showed that it is. Why you keep harping on that one detail, I don't know. Where I live, the gym is "free." We have to pay the HOA whether we use the gym or not. I realize where I live is hardly indicative of the whole country, but infant care at a gym is hardly unheard of.
Yes, being a SAHM is hard. There is no real "break." I get that. I did it. But part of being a SAHM is also juggling the housework, errands, maybe some gym time or a lunch with a friend. Again, my point is it isn't 100% hands-on child care, and simply being with the child doesn't equate to "good" parenting. Just as going to work doesn't equate to "bad" parenting.
Correct, I was "present", not parenting, as I stated.
When I AWS'd and had to be at the office/commuted, it saved commute time to/from on my one day off so there is a synergy in time saved that you forgot to include in your "analysis".
Perfect? No. Better than many have in a similiar situation? I think yes.
I try to do the same thing. I'll work from home one day a week. It's also why I commute at an ungodly hour. Not only do I skip the traffic, commute time is not lost time since my family sleeps through it and my day lets out very early. I have a colleague at work who has a SAHW, but she's doing something these days so he's switched his schedule. He does the morning routine with the kids and takes everyone to school, then comes to work around 11AM. He leaves after 5pm.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stevek64
Given we weren't financially independent at the time, yes, we felt one of us had to work and the highest salary won. Mine. And given my wife wanted to stay at home, it was an easy decision for us. If she made more money than me, and wanted to work, I'd love to have stayed home as work was just a means to make $ in my view, didn't give me anything beyond that except aggravation for the most part, ha. I don't get off on being the macho bread $ winner as the reason for my existence as many seem to feel. Working to live, not living to work, was my mantra. Hanging with family, the dogs, doing some hobbies, etc. is much more fulfilling to me.
My husband offered up that idea since I earned a little more than him. I wasn't game for it. Although, my SIL has a husband who stays at home with the kids and my cousin had that, too.
Nobody ever said that EVERY SAHM goes to the gym for 2 hours every day. You questioned whether or not care for infants was even available at gyms. I showed that it is. Why you keep harping on that one detail, I don't know. Where I live, the gym is "free." We have to pay the HOA whether we use the gym or not. I realize where I live is hardly indicative of the whole country, but infant care at a gym is hardly unheard of.
Yes, being a SAHM is hard. There is no real "break." I get that. I did it. But part of being a SAHM is also juggling the housework, errands, maybe some gym time or a lunch with a friend. Again, my point is it isn't 100% hands-on child care, and simply being with the child doesn't equate to "good" parenting. Just as going to work doesn't equate to "bad" parenting.
Look. I'm not trying to fight with anyone. If you read the posts I was responding to you might understand where I was coming from. If not, oh well. This is a pointless side conversation that's gone way too far. As I've stated in my posts, I see pros and cons to both choices and don't think any mom has it easy. I hate the mommy wars.
Not as well adjusted/happy as your kids are I'm sure, macie.
Next topic....my dad can bet up your dad, nah nah nah nah, nah.
Been fun ladies. Peace.
I didn't say anything of the sort. You on the other hand tried to imply that my kids might not be as nice as I believed they were. When you have nothing to base that on. It was simply a weak response from someone who had nothing of substance to offer.
You still won't address my question.
And now you've taken your ball and gone home.
*shrugs*
Last edited by maciesmom; 04-01-2017 at 07:31 PM..
Look. I'm not trying to fight with anyone. If you read the posts I was responding to you might understand where I was coming from. If not, oh well. This is a pointless side conversation that's gone way too far. As I've stated in my posts, I see pros and cons to both choices and don't think any mom has it easy. I hate the mommy wars.
The mommy wars are ridiculous. Unfortunately some folks seem to feel the need to denigrate the choices of others. I think anyone who's been around long enough will remember that those who have supported working mothers on this thread, have just as passionately supported SAHMs on previous threads. And some are (or have been) SAHMs themselves. Happily so.
Last edited by maciesmom; 04-01-2017 at 07:32 PM..
The mommy wars are ridiculous. Unfortunately some folks seem to feel the need to denigrate the choices of others. I think anyone who's been around long enough will remember that those who have supported working mothers on this thread, have just as passionately supported SAHMs on previous threads. And some are themselves SAHMs. Happily so.
I agree that the mommy wars are ridiculous. I also think that sometimes when a person is defending one choice they cross the line and inadvertently devalue, degrade and belittle the other choice just to prove their point. That started to happen in this thread, even if no one meant for it to happen.
I think that most moms here, especially those with older kids recognize the pros and cons of both working and staying at home. Neither option is ideal. They both have pros and they both have cons.
What's interesting about this particular conversation is that most of the opposition to working moms came from men. One dad and one non dad. Two people who've never had to actually face the decision themselves to work or stay at home.
I agree that the mommy wars are ridiculous. I also think that sometimes when a person is defending one choice they cross the line and inadvertently devalue, degrade and belittle the other choice just to prove their point. That started to happen in this thread, even if no one meant for it to happen.
I think that most moms here, especially those with older kids recognize the pros and cons of both working and staying at home. Neither option is ideal. They both have pros and they both have cons.
What's interesting about this particular conversation is that most of the opposition to working moms came from men. One dad and one non dad. Two people who've never had to actually face the decision themselves to work or stay at home.
Yep. Interesting indeed, and not the norm for this forum.
I agree that the mommy wars are ridiculous. I also think that sometimes when a person is defending one choice they cross the line and inadvertently devalue, degrade and belittle the other choice just to prove their point. That started to happen in this thread, even if no one meant for it to happen.
Probably. When people feel attacked on something, it's normal to feel defensive. Particularly when those attacks are about your family and children.
Quote:
I think that most moms here, especially those with older kids recognize the pros and cons of both working and staying at home. Neither option is ideal. They both have pros and they both have cons.
What's interesting about this particular conversation is that most of the opposition to working moms came from men. One dad and one non dad. Two people who've never had to actually face the decision themselves to work or stay at home.
It is interesting isn't it? It's awfully easy to point the finger when you are comfortable in your knowledge it will never ever apply to you.
That and an OP who "didnt want to stir the pot" but did a post-and-run..
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