Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I just don't get it. I am a woman and if I ever had a child I would have to be a working mother. I just think it is too risky to rely on someone else for survival. I would only be comfortable having a baby if I could provide for all my baby's needs. Anything could happen in life. Your spouse or partner can suddenly drop dead, or leave you. I am not knocking stay at home moms. I think everyone should do what they feel is right for themselves and their families. I actually am in awe of women who are comfortable being SAHM's. I am just not one of those people. I just think it is sad some people, mostly religious people, think that working mothers and feminism has ruined the family or society somehow. I think that is ridiculous. I think working to provide for your baby and family is never selfish. I just want some of your perspectives on this topic. honestly not trying to start a flame war. Do you think that babies need at least one parent to stay at home or do you think two working parents is ok?
The problem is that babies can't talk and most of us do not remember anything from our infancy, so it can be difficult to figure out what things are really like from the perspective of a baby. Nor can we ask a baby at the end of the day "What was day care like today?"
I answered the question you asked. You tried to pose a question you thought could only lead to one answer by a caring mother. You appealed to your own ego.
A baby's actual needs can be met by a variety of people, including a loving daycare provider. Additionally there are all kinds of needs that families have that are separate from the needs of one member. Are all daycare providers loving and nurturing? Not any more that all mothers are loving and nurturing. An infant who is in daycare for part of her day can thrive just as successfully as an infant cared for by parents only.
And stop putting words in my mouth please.
You haven't answered the question. You've defended the CHOICE of daycare, but have not answered: What is better for the INFANT? Mom or daycare?
It's not an ego question. It's a very simple question. That you are still refusing to answer.
[quote=ncole1;47743951]The problem is that babies can't talk and most of us do not remember anything from our infancy, so it can be difficult to figure out what things are really like from the perspective of a baby. Nor can we ask a baby at the end of the day "What was day care like today?"[/quote]
That's why you are the mom. Do you let children decide what is best for them? Ice cream for dinner? Skateboarding on the interstate?
Shocking at the absolute refusal to say: Infants need their moms.
Why bother having children at all? Just smh. Mothers who refuse to say infants needs them. Mothers who believe that daycare takes better care of their babies then they do. Just so pitiful.
What pro daycare people ALWAYS forget in these kind of discussions is the needs of the INFANT.
It's all about the needs of the bank account or the needs of the mother or the needs of the ego/career. The needs of the INFANT are, ever, ever discussed.
If that question was answered honestly -- which is better for infants, daycare or mother? -- the conversation would be very very different.
But they will never address the needs of the infant.
And what single-minded SAHP's always forget in these kinds of discussions is that children have needs all of their lives. They will need a college education or some sort of training and they'll need a solid financial base to start their lives. And when they're raising their own families, they'll need their parents to be financially self-sufficient.
If those issues were addressed in a rational and respectful manner, the conversation would be very different.
But they will never address the needs of a child past infancy.
And who is addressing the needs of the infant? As I predicted, no one will answer that question:
Which is better for an infant, being in care of its mother or at a daycare?
WHY the absolute REFUSAL to answer the question?
My daughter was in daycare at 10 weeks and all of her needs were met. While she was at daycare she ate, she was cuddled, she napped, she laughed, she played, she drank breast milk. When she was home, which was 16 hours a day plus 48 hours on the weekends, she also did all of those things. At daycare she did them with a wonderful woman who had cared for children in her home for forty years. At home she did them with her parents and grandparents.
You really need to take a step back because you absolutely do not know what you're talking about.
What I find interesting is that the posters here who are stamping their feet about working mothers being bad mothers or even bad people, have felt the need to resort to personal attacks to make their point. "YOU must feel..." "Your kids must be..."
Many of us are able to have a calm and logical discussion without resorting to those methods. My ego is just fine without it. I'm secure enough in my parenting to know that someone else holding or feeding or watching my baby sleep did not take away from the love or the bond with my own children. And they turned out great.
Who takes better care of an infant: Its mother or a daycare worker?
I don't know. It depends on the people I guess. With that said, why in the world are you guys advocating for people to not work? I mean, is it laziness, privaledge, entitlement? What exactly are these poor children learning having parents that don't want to work? At the very least mom works during the day and dad works at night. No need to deprive your kids of anything.
Who takes better care of an infant: Its mother or a daycare worker?
It depends. A child raised by a self-righteous, judgmental, close-minded mother will grow up with stunted intelligence and social skills, no matter how many hours she spends dangling jingly toys over her baby while watching the soaps. A good substitute at a daycare in such a case may well teach a child things that are lacking in the home, thereby setting the child on the path to a better life.
The question IS a simple one: Who takes better care of an infant: Mom or daycare worker? Not hard, not confusing, does not need a bunch of random excuses ... just pick one. BUT: instead of answering the question honestly, you are throwing out lots of random examples to show that YOU believe that a daycare worker will take better care of your infant than you will.
By avoiding the question, you've answered it.
You believe daycare workers take better care of your infant than you could. Got it. Loud and clear. If you believe that statement is WRONG, then answer the question DIRECTLY.
In at least one instance, the lady who took care of our daughter did a better job than we did.
Our daughter was born with strabismus, or crossed eyes. If it's not caught early enough, vision can be compromised forever. Neither my husband or I knew what to look for, but when our daughter was four months old our caregiver told me that she thought one of her eyes was turning inward. I asked the pediatrician who recommended we see a pediatric ophthalmologist. Our daughter was treated with patches (which the caregiver was better at putting on and taking off than I was) and had surgery at 8 months.
Thank goodness for Momo. She may have saved my daughter's vision.
Other than that, she took equally as good care of our daughter as we did. She house was cleaner than ours and she cooked meals from scratch. When I'd drop my daughter off in the mornings the smell of coffee and homemade tortillas made it hard to leave. When I'd pick my daughter up she'd be happy, well-rested, and clean.
My daughter received excellent care from a lovely woman. I have no regrets at all.
In at least one instance, the lady who took care of our daughter did a better job than we did.
Our daughter was born with strabismus, or crossed eyes. If it's not caught early enough, vision can be compromised forever. Neither my husband or I knew what to look for, but when our daughter was four months old our caregiver told me that she thought one of her eyes was turning inward. I asked the pediatrician who recommended we see a pediatric ophthalmologist. She was treated with patches (which the caregiver was better at putting on and taking off than I was) and had surgery at 8 months.
Thank goodness for Momo. She may have saved my daughter's vision.
Other than that, she took equally as good care of our daughter as we did. She house was cleaner than ours and she cooked meals from scratch. When I'd drop my daughter off in the mornings the smell of coffee and homemade tortillas made it hard to leave. When I'd pick my daughter up she'd be happy, well-rested, and clean.
My daughter received excellent care from a lovely woman. I have no regrets at all.
This reminded me of the in-home daycare my older son was in. Well, he was the only child, so not sure if you could call it "daycare". It was the wife of a Lebanese man that I worked with. She wouldn't cook anything out of a can or package, only fresh food. She made her own bread and pasta. One day I came to pick him up and her teenagers were teaching my son Italian.
It was also very comforting as a new mother in my early twenties to have an older and wiser person to discuss my child's particular habits, growth and needs. (This was before the internet). To know that this or that is completely normal and not something to worry about was a huge relief to me.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
