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OK, I did it again! I avoided this thread, then this morning I decided to take a look at it. As usual, the best comments are at the beginning, before it started devolving. However, there's some good stuff on here later about maternity leaves and the like. I'll take it a few pages at a time. To post #80:
I hear you loud and clear. Pretty much exactly what happened to me, especially starting over at essentially an entry level salary. Let me assure you though, as we are now in the "early days" of our retirement (will be 2 years in August), we are "comfortable".
My uncle died when my cousins were 3 and 5. Fortunately, he did leave my aunt with a paid up house, and she got SS for the kids through age 18, I believe. He was an insurance salesman himself, and yes, they had life insurance, but that's not going to carry you through for 15 years (length of time until the younger one turned 18).
Who's Dave Ramsey and why should I do what he says?
OK you two, don't break your necks falling off your high horses.
You've made it very clear that money/career/retirement is more important than raising a child from infancy and that an infant is perfectly fine being put into daycare, spending 50 hours a week in daycare by a $10 an hour paid worker, separated from its mother at a very early age.
Got your message loud and clear.
Money > relationship and bonding with infants/young children.
Take a poll. I'd guess you are in a tiny, tiny minority that does not reflect the majority of kids in daycare who are desperate for attention from mom.
How do you know this? Have you met them? Have they personally told you this?
How do you know this? Have you met them? Have they personally told you this?
Common sense?
Are you really taking the standpoint that kids who spend 50 waking hours/week in the care of other people don't miss/need/want their moms?
Or are you saying that since kids in daycare are so accustomed to relying on people other than their mom for basic needs that they have learned to depend on others in PLACE of mom since she is rarely there?
Or are you saying that moms are unnecessary because daycare is a perfectly acceptable/equal substitute? (Why don't women who give birth just sign the infant over to the state after delivery, then none of those pesky motherhood nonsense is needed? The state can take care of all needs, and women can go straight back to work.)
Common sense??? Kids spending 50+hours in daycare means MOM IS NOT THERE.
Are you really taking the standpoint that kids who spend 50 waking hours/week in the care of other people don't miss/need/want their moms?
Or are you saying that since kids in daycare are so accustomed to relying on people other than their mom for basic needs that they have learned to depend on others in PLACE of mom since she is rarely there?
Or are you saying that moms are unnecessary because daycare is a perfectly acceptable/equal substitute? (Why don't women who give birth just sign the infant over to the state after delivery, then none of those pesky motherhood nonsense is needed? The state can take care of all needs, and women can go straight back to work.)
Common sense??? Kids spending 50+hours in daycare means MOM IS NOT THERE.
Why must it be one extreme or the other?
Why are you so angry about people making decisions about their own family when they are not judging you for your decisions?
Are you really taking the standpoint that kids who spend 50 waking hours/week in the care of other people don't miss/need/want their moms?
Or are you saying that since kids in daycare are so accustomed to relying on people other than their mom for basic needs that they have learned to depend on others in PLACE of mom since she is rarely there?
Or are you saying that moms are unnecessary because daycare is a perfectly acceptable/equal substitute? (Why don't women who give birth just sign the infant over to the state after delivery, then none of those pesky motherhood nonsense is needed? The state can take care of all needs, and women can go straight back to work.)
Common sense??? Kids spending 50+hours in daycare means MOM IS NOT THERE.
I get it now. You're assuming. You can't let people make their own decisions based on what is best for their families. You feel the need to judge based on your sense of what is best.
Why are you so angry about people making decisions about their own family when they are not judging you for your decisions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Riley09swb
I get it now. You're assuming. You can't let people make their own decisions based on what is best for their families. You feel the need to judge based on your sense of what is best.
Neither of you addressed the point that babies/young children need their moms, and that kids in daycare spend more time with paid workers than they spend with their moms.
FACTS can be neither angry nor judgmental. It's a FACT. Own it. If your baby/young child is in daycare, at least be honest, that the baby/young child spends MORE waking hours without their mom, in the presence of strangers.
Neither of you addressed the point that babies/young children need their moms, and that kids in daycare spend more time with paid workers than they spend with their moms.
FACTS can be neither angry nor judgmental. It's a FACT. Own it. If your baby/young child is in daycare, at least be honest, that the baby/young child spends MORE waking hours without their mom, in the presence of strangers.
Do you dispute that FACT about daycare?
You have no idea how long kids are in daycare. It varies depending on the family. If you are counting waking hours, do be sure to count daytime naps as well. Also consider that just because a mother is "home" doesn't guarantee she is attentive. There are just too many variables to make the sweeping generalizations you so desperately want to make.
I think you will find, as children get older, you won't be able to differentiate "daycare kids" from kids of SAHMs.
Take a poll. I'd guess you are in a tiny, tiny minority that does not reflect the majority of kids in daycare who are desperate for attention from mom.
I'll be part of your survey. When I was a SAHM I was worried about money to the point of having dreams about it at night. The kids were on my last nerve by the end of the day. I was much happier and easier to live with after I went back to work. My kids and I were able to look forward to seeing each other at the end of the day, instead of getting sick of each other.
It's ridiculous to think you can speak for everyone every where. You can't.
My kids would report massive wtf with this entire conversation. Son reading over my shoulder. Yah Mom you ruined me. That's why I want all my friends to live with you since their SAHMs are so awesome.
I'll be part of your survey. When I was a SAHM I was worried about money to the point of having dreams about it at night. The kids were on my last nerve by the end of the day. I was much happier and easier to live with after I went back to work. My kids and I were able to look forward to seeing each other at the end of the day, instead of getting sick of each other.
It's ridiculous to think you can speak for everyone every where. You can't.
I'm not speaking for anyone.
I am simply pointing out that babies/young infants of professional working mothers spend MORE time with strangers than their own moms. Their day is longer than a working mother's day, because they are dropped off BEFORE work and picked up AFTER work.
Why won't anyone acknowledge this FACT?
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