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I'm sorry it makes no sense to you. If you instill in your child that financial status should be a priority in searching for a mate, the child may miss out on someone really great. That was my point. Financial status shouldn't really play into choosing a mate IMO - whether it is BECAUSE of it or DESPITE it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ackmondual
FWIW, this article (and by extension this thread) could've also been about teaching boys to work out, get muscular + sexy, and become boy toys.
Yeah its dead because some people think you should make a lifelong commitment to someone you actually like and get along with rather than someone with a healthy bank account.
Yeah its dead because some people think you should make a lifelong commitment
to someone you actually like and get along with rather than someone with a healthy bank account.
You say this like it's impossible to have both.
It's about where to look for someone you'll actually like and get along with.
Keeping it simple... do you tell your kid to look on Uni campus or at the unemployment office?
Yeah its dead because some people think you should make a lifelong commitment to someone you actually like and get along with rather than someone with a healthy bank account.
You say this like it's impossible to have both.
It's about where to look for someone you'll actually like and get along with.
Keeping it simple... do you tell your kid to look on Uni campus or at the unemployment office?
I agree with Mr.Rational. A breath of fresh air. I repped his post.
As to Magritte25's post, by that logic a 16 year old would marry his or her puppy love. Perhaps that's a bit of an overstatement.
But on a more serious note the reason that we don't want that to happen is that an initial burst of love and compatibility can be quite strained when the need for financial independence sets in. It's one thing for someone living at home with a room provided by Mommy and Daddy to fall in love with "someone (he or she) actually like(s) and get(s) along with." Much harder when complications of paying rent or mortgage, pregnancy and babies set in. I certainly don't advocate gold-digging but I think both men and women need to evaluate how they're going to live and generate an income. And I mean both. A personal story.
My mother married my father in 1955. My father had gotten out of the Korean War and had a couple of years of interior architecture training under his belt. By and by he began earning a decent income, peaking at around $100,000 in 1971 and 1972, about $$590,000 in today's dollars. In September 1971 he developed colon cancer and died in January 1973 after a recurrence. He married my stepfather in June 1974. I think she loved him but it was hard to tell with her, but I digress.
His income was about $40,000 in the late 1970's, about $140,000 in today's dollars. Sounds impressive but not for the high-cost New York metropolitan area. She took a course in real estate sales and earned a modest income doing that through the 1980's until illness forced her to stop around 2011. She was always worried about money. My point is that someone must either develop skills, have between them and a spouse at least some money or preferably both.
It's about where to look for someone you'll actually like and get along with.
Keeping it simple... do you tell your kid to look on Uni campus or at the unemployment office?
Neither and nowhere. My kids' relationships is very little of my business. We've raised them demonstrating a healthy relationship, humility, kindness, laughter and teamwork. The most effective lessons are shown not told.
I don't think its impossible to have both but judging from the amount of women who complain about not being able to find a "good" (aka healthy bank account) man, I'd say it bears reminding that men of less means can be great mates too.
Woman have gotten a raw deal in the employment world, obviously, and that unfair gap while closing still exists. But let's not forget the pressure a man feels to earn a decent income. We have heard from plenty of woman here who still demand this. Is that fair? Was it fair that I was forced to earn a lot of money to compensate for my wife's low income throughout our marriage? Not at all, but this situation still exists.
By the way I would not change at thing about my wife. To some of us money is not as important as finding the right partner. And that goes for men looking at woman as well as women evaluation men.
This is very true.
We do not get the same wages, but we are expected to support ourselves and children on our much smaller salaries.
I was actually told by my boss that I only got a 2% raise because I am not a butt kisser, a favorite or eye candy. Those that were, got significant raises.
Yet somehow single moms can run the household, work full time and take care of kids...
Yes they do and kudos to them. But they don't do it alone. No one does it alone. They either use a nanny or a combination of daycare and school and aftercare and before care. And if the father is still around, they probably get days and nights off when the kids are with him. And a lot of single moms rely on family help if they are around.
If I worked the same type of job as my husband, which I was on track to do, I would be working 60+ hours a week and I would be traveling 50 nights a year. And yes, the only way to manage two careers like that would be a FT nanny/housekeeper. Probably a live-in who could drive.
Last edited by bookspage; 04-24-2017 at 08:35 AM..
Most men on that trajectory don't marry the dumb-as-a-rock hot chick. Most women on that trajectory don't marry the dumb-as-a-rock muscle bound ape. They're off doing affluent people things where they meet other affluent people on a similar career trajectory. I ski. I've never run into any high school dropout single mothers on the chairlift. Everybody I ever dated through all those years of skiing went to college and had a real job. I sail. Same thing there. I've always lived in affluent towns where everybody in town is on that kind of trajectory.
So the 21st century advice is "marry your socioeconomic equal". If you're a 6%er, that means you're highly likely to pick another 6%er. The 1960's Mad Men thing with the corporate executive marrying their secretary largely doesn't happen in 2017.
This is the truth and this is why daughters should be pushed to reach just as high as sons.
Since women started going to college and since all of the professions opened up to them socially, men are marrying women of equal education and socioeconomics. This is part of the reason why SEC parents go bananas about getting their kids into the "right" college. Because that is where people pair up
Last edited by bookspage; 04-24-2017 at 08:37 AM..
This is the truth and this is why daughters should be pushed to reach just as high as sons.
Since women started going to college and since all of the professions opened up to them socially, men are marrying women of equal education and socioeconomics. This is part of the reason why SEC parents go bananas about getting their kids into the "right" college. Because that is where people pair up
And that's why divorces go up because equality is really bad for marriages. Marriages are about compromises but when the social and economic status are the same of the couple. Often you get disagreements because in any business you need one person or 3 people to break a tie when it comes to decision making. People who are often in high economic status end in divorces when their mate has disagreements.
If you disagree, research what type of marriages are the longest without divorce. The higher the pay or status the more people divorce because of their economic mobility.
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Both money and love are needed
Yet somehow single moms can run the household, work full time and take care of kids...
