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Fair point strictly from what is posted, but I cannot go through all of the different people and factors involved in this setting. We're lucky to be very financially secure, but the opinions/feelings/implications of those involved do matter--hence my post here.
I simply believe this isn't as big of a burden or deal as my wife might think, just from the obvious undertones of the word "adoption" in general. I could be wrong, which is why I'm asking.
If I didn't care and am just being selfish about it, I wouldn't be posting here at all.
TBH, adoption should be one of the topics to be covered before getting married. Some people are just not into the idea of adopting. Your wife could be very well be one of them. Circumstances do change... but right now, your wife's stance is colored by jealousy and resentment. This makes her the ideal candidate to NOT adopt. You framing this as an act of charity, or thinking that it's not a (or as) big deal or burden is simply dismissing her feelings. She's not going to be won over that way.
I don't know how anybody can be persuaded otherwise. It has to be something she can come into on her own, without your pressure. I think you're going to have to accept that this isn't going to be done.
TBH, adoption should be one of the topics to be covered before getting married. Some people are just not into the idea of adopting. Your wife could be very well be one of them. Circumstances do change... but right now, your wife's stance is colored by jealousy and resentment. This makes her the ideal candidate to NOT adopt. You framing this as an act of charity, or thinking that it's not a (or as) big deal or burden is simply dismissing her feelings. She's not going to be won over that way.
I don't know how anybody can be persuaded otherwise. It has to be something she can come into on her own, without your pressure. I think you're going to have to accept that this isn't going to be done.
Darn, you're right. I'm making all of this up just because I have nothing better to do. Can't believe you caught me!
(Also, it's "seams"--not "seems". Hopefully you can catch the next person correctly.)
Thanks I fixed that. Interestingly, people do make stuff up for no reason...quite often. Its always a new member with some outlandish story that is likely to get people passionate but that doesn't end up holding water. Spend some time around, you will see.
I have a 10 year old daughter...if a man, even a friend, had this much interest in her, I would not let my daughter with in 100 feet of him.
Thanks I fixed that. Interestingly, people do make stuff up for no reason...quite often. Its always a new member with some outlandish story that is likely to get people passionate but that doesn't end up holding water. Spend some time around, you will see.
I have a 10 year old daughter...if a man, even a friend, had this much interest in her, I would not let my daughter with in 100 feet of him.
An interest in her ability to have an equal opportunity in life? I feel sorry for you. That's why we still have a glass ceiling.
In this vacuum you presented, it sounds extremely strange/creepy/all of the above.
The only problem is that this doesn't reflect the circumstances or situation in the least.
If that's true, why not help the parent's become legal rather than concentrating on THEIR child? I'm sorry to say I suspect ulterior motivations of the creepiest sort. Your wife sounds like she has the same intuition.
See immigration and now women's rights? No, this thread wasn't meant to impassion at all. You don't even get to talk to be about either.
I didn't make this about women/girls/weird sexual undertones. You did. If I was talking about a boy, it looks like I would've gotten completely different responses. It looks like I should lie next time, because the gender of the person has no bearing on this.
I don't understand your last sentence; I don't think it makes sense.
If that's true, why not help the parent's become legal rather than concentrating on THEIR child? I'm sorry to say I suspect ulterior motivations of the creepiest sort. Your wife sounds like she has the same intuition.
If you understood anything about immigration law or the INA, you would get this. Her parents have a single option only. By the time they can exercise it, this child would have aged out and not be able to participate. This happens all the time.
I don't blame you for questioning some random internet person, but these are the facts.
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You don't even get to talk to be about either.
