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The reason I ask is because a woman I know recently had twins at 44! I don't know much regarding the circumstances, but even so, is that not selfish considering you are far more likely to have children with mental and/or physical disabilities at that age not to mention even if they aren't born with issues you will be far older when they graduate high school and aren't likely to be able to run around and play with them or keep up with them as if you were younger? It also must be very embarrassing for the kids to have such an old mother.
There's nothing wrong with it. Life expectancy isn't what is used to be. Older mothers have more patience, spend more time with their kids because they have more money. Younger moms are often desperately trying to make ends meet and very busy. Older parents also seem to have the smartest kids who make amazing contributions to society. Plus, our society needs more children, we're barely at the replacement rate, or we may have already dropped below it.
The reason I ask is because a woman I know recently had twins at 44! I don't know much regarding the circumstances, but even so, is that not selfish considering you are far more likely to have children with mental and/or physical disabilities at that age not to mention even if they aren't born with issues you will be far older when they graduate high school and aren't likely to be able to run around and play with them or keep up with them as if you were younger? It also must be very embarrassing for the kids to have such an old mother.
What physical disabilities happen with older moms? I've not heard of that. There is a very slight increase in trisomies such as Down Syndrome, but the odds are still quite low. At age 40 the odds are one out of a hundred. At age 45 the odds are one out of 30, and of course the baby can be tested for Downs early in the pregnancy.
It's not the least bit embarrassing for a child to have an older mother. Kids don't notice or care. To a little kid all moms are old.
When my oldest child entered a special school for highly gifted children the first thing I noticed was how old all the parents were. The kids in his class were all 8 or 9 and nearly every parent had gray hair. The whole school was filled with older parents. The kids didn't find it strange, they didn't know the difference. These parents spent so much time with their children. Almost every child grew up in a two parent home where they got gobs of attention. The parents had the time and patience to spend with their children. It was as if they had spent their whole lives planning and saving to be parents. Their children were the beneficiaries of all it. They were very lucky children to have parents who were so well prepared to be parents.
I don't think selfish is the right word for it, but that being said it's not for me. I have no desire to be 62 at my child's high school graduation or a senior citizen at college graduation. The thought of having a teenager and all the worries of raising a teenager, when I should be retiring no way. I think it also makes a difference if it's a first time parent or not. I really don't understand somebody who has raised their children and when they're grown starts another family. But each to their own.
One thing I absolutely think is selfish is when a woman or man has a new baby at 50+, this is becoming more common.
I don't think its selfish...maybe stupid. She will be 62 when that child is 18. You need mental strength, stamina, and scotch to parent a child during their teenage years.
My mother was 42 & my father was 47 when I was born & it absolutely sucked.
And yes, I was constantly teased by other kids regarding my "old" parents, & even had teachers tactlessly address them as my grandparents.
However, this was years ago. I wasn't a planned or wanted child, & my parents looked even older than they were. If a child IS wanted & planned, & the 40-something parents have taken care of their health & have decent energy levels, it can be a beautiful thing.
But, as other posters have mentioned, dealing with a teenager while being in your 60's would be...challenging.
It's better than the opposite scenario - teenagers having babies.
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