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I am curious if there is any overall consensus to when to stop giving Godchildren presents ?
In the case of my significant other, they have been a very young Godparent.
My Godfather stopped when I turned 18. Which makes perfect sense to me. You're not a child now, you are a grown up.
SO was just 13 when they were made a Godfather. Their Godchild is now 27 and just graduated college.
From an Ivy.
With no student loans either, because their parents paid for everything. Including a 2 bedroom apartment in one of the most expensive cities.
The Godchild (Godadult ?) is a perfectly pleasant person, I like them a lot, but I am thinking that SO needs to stop sending presents.
Probably because a few years ago, after years of thoughtful gift-giving, Godchild requested money over gifts.And we're not talking just 50 bucks here. Hmm.
I let that go. They're not my relative, so whatever.
But things came to a head when I was told that Godchild's Dad owes SO $ x,xxx from a decade ago, (SO dropped this bomb on me just before a family dinner with them) but the Dad has been giving said Godchild enough money to jewelry shop at Chopard and Piaget. So regularly so that Godchild invited a Chopard salesgirl to family dinner.
The poor, middle aged salesperson seemed so uncomfortable. Like they were doing this as a favor. You know, so Godchild would keep giving them sales.....
Also, I might add that Godchild doesn't give Godfather any gifts, but does write thank you notes.
So witnessing that Godchild has money aplenty has started to leave a bad taste in my mouth. Plus, its frustrating that SO complains to me bitterly about his Uncle not paying him back, but won't confront him. Argh.
Since I know SO went into credit card debt back when the Uncle borrowed money from him, it annoys me even more.
TL;DR Significant other's nice, but spoiled Godchild is nearing 30, time to stop giving gifts (money) ?
I voted for 18 in the poll, but I don't really see any reason to continue even that long. What kind of gifts are you talking about?
My God parents never did anything God parent-like for me. They stood up during the church service and that was it.
My kids' God mother has given gifts for baptism and first communion. She will probably give something for other church milestones, high school graduation, weddings. I don't expect her to give birthday or Christmas gifts, although she sometimes does. If she didn't, I wouldn't think anything of it.
You got two different issues here and they have to be resolved separately
First off, there is NO set age to stop giving gifts, large or small -- to godchildren or to anyone else. Presumably the giver loves the younger person and gets some satisfaction from him having nice things. You don't stop giving anniversary gifts to your spouse because you're married 25 years and she/he is too old for that, or to your sons and daughters just because they're grown and birthdays aren't a big deal like they are for ten-year-olds. You don't stop getting flowers from Mom on Mother's Day, even if she's 100 years old and going blind. Gift-giving is a gesture of love and respect from the giver, whether its a blood relative or not, and it would be wrong to deny any person that.
The separate issue is about the money owed from many years ago. The guy/gal just has to suck it up and ask for it, and figure out a way to do it that's both graceful and insistent. Ordinarily I would say stay out of it, but if the issue is impacting your marriage then you're already in it. Let the SO do the talking, though you might be able to help figure out what to say. Be prepared for anything from getting an agreement to work it out, to open hostility, to something in between. But it'll be better if the issue doesn't fester. And whatever the outcome don't let it wreck the godparent/godson relationship. After all, the boy had nothing to do with this.
I voted for 18 in the poll, but I don't really see any reason to continue even that long. What kind of gifts are you talking about?
My God parents never did anything God parent-like for me. They stood up during the church service and that was it.
My kids' God mother has given gifts for baptism and first communion. She will probably give something for other church milestones, high school graduation, weddings. I don't expect her to give birthday or Christmas gifts, although she sometimes does. If she didn't, I wouldn't think anything of it.
We don't do the Godparent thing, but I stopped buying nieces and nephews gifts when they turned 18 and moved out. Pretty much our whole family only buys gifts for the young children. The grandparents send some money to each of the grandkids for xmas only, but not a lot...too many of them.
My godparents never gave me anything. Is it really customary for godparents to give gifts?
If so, the gift for high school graduation should be the last one, and then cards after that.
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