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Old 05-23-2017, 02:36 PM
 
15,546 posts, read 11,923,867 times
Reputation: 32595

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Quote:
Originally Posted by IndyDancer View Post
I've tried that tactic a few times on my kid - walking away - it has never worked. He either just stood there or turned around and went the other way. I pretty much had to cave and return and grab him before I got too far away for it to be a safety risk
It doesn't work because you always cave. Your child knows you're not going to go far and that you'll just come right back. I'm not saying to actually leave your child, but I don't really understand what the consequence is. That a parent walked 10 feet away?

 
Old 05-23-2017, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,316 posts, read 120,219,944 times
Reputation: 35920
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew View Post
Oh brother. Here we go again. We can't just talk. Someone always has to get defensive.
"Just talk". I'm sorry, but
Quote:
Explain to me how not going to the beach, not eating lunch or not going to the park again tomorrow is a problem for anyone? Especially if the pattern is set with your first. I never much liked taking the kids to the park, so if we don't go, that is no skin off my nose. And if they don't eat lunch, I am ok with that. They will be offered food at the next meal. How does that bother me?
is not "just talk". It's pretty snarky really. And I don't think you "got it" with the lunch thing. Two kids were hungry, one wasn't and didn't want to leave the park. Maybe Mom was hungry, too and ready to go home. Just because YOU don't like the park, that doesn't mean no one does. As HL Mencken said "For every complex problem, there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong".
https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/a...l_mencken.html
 
Old 05-23-2017, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Canoga Park, CA
93 posts, read 94,782 times
Reputation: 283
Interesting that no one responded who was spanked as a child. I was. It was the only way my dad could get me to behave. I was very strong willed. But he spanked - he did not beat - and I understood that the spanking was a consequence of my having crossed the line, not the way to solve a problem. Reasoning with me was pointless - I wanted my way, period. Sending me to my room was pointless - I didn't have a room to begin with and was an introvert, so being alone didn't bother me. He spanked me until he noticed that my freedom to leave the house was more of a deterrent than a spanking, then he began to ground me and never laid a finger on me again. It really all depends on the child.
 
Old 05-23-2017, 02:57 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,316 posts, read 120,219,944 times
Reputation: 35920
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00 View Post
It doesn't work because you always cave. Your child knows you're not going to go far and that you'll just come right back. I'm not saying to actually leave your child, but I don't really understand what the consequence is. That a parent walked 10 feet away?
See the Mencken quote above. It's not always that simple. What if the trip home from the park is not straigtforward, and the kid can't see the parent/siblings walking down the street? What if the kid, thinking like a kid, decides it's OK to stay at the park without adult supervision? After all, a kid's world view isn't very broad yet. S/he may not understand the situation as an adult does. And for all this talk about being arrested for spanking your kid, what do you think would happen if your kid were reported abandoned?
 
Old 05-23-2017, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Posting from my space yacht.
8,452 posts, read 4,712,530 times
Reputation: 15354
Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
Me? Yes, I have 4 children. Delightful, intelligent, curious, kind, well-behaved, compassionate children, for the most part. We do not spank them.

As for pushing the limits and throwing tantrums, I just can't imagine can be all that effective...

And it's certainly not necessary.
I have found during my parenting career that my children's intelligence and curiosity were almost always in play on the rare occasions that I had to resort to spanking them.
 
Old 05-23-2017, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Houston
26,979 posts, read 15,796,413 times
Reputation: 11259
You only use physical torture up to the age where mental torture is more effective.
 
Old 05-23-2017, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Southern California
29,267 posts, read 16,573,832 times
Reputation: 18901
Who wants to be Hit....no one.
 
Old 05-23-2017, 03:06 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,128,010 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
"Just talk". I'm sorry, but is not "just talk". It's pretty snarky really. And I don't think you "got it" with the lunch thing. Two kids were hungry, one wasn't and didn't want to leave the park. Maybe Mom was hungry, too and ready to go home. Just because YOU don't like the park, that doesn't mean no one does. As HL Mencken said "For every complex problem, there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong".
https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/a...l_mencken.html
Ok I am not sure what you are saying. If you were eating lunch at the park, it was not something I chose to do. The funny thing about the other kids getting sucked into the natural consequence is that when the other kids are sucked into the consequences, they become your allies next time.

And really, I was discussing parenting. If anyone was snarky, it was you. And Mom, really, if you are hungry, you are the master of the kitchen and can wait.
 
Old 05-23-2017, 03:12 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,128,010 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by Katarina Witt View Post
See the Mencken quote above. It's not always that simple. What if the trip home from the park is not straigtforward, and the kid can't see the parent/siblings walking down the street? What if the kid, thinking like a kid, decides it's OK to stay at the park without adult supervision? After all, a kid's world view isn't very broad yet.
Then you have kids without a natural instinct for self preservation which is actually quite unusual. Or they know you are just playing games with them and are pushing your buttons.
 
Old 05-23-2017, 03:13 PM
 
14,294 posts, read 13,128,010 times
Reputation: 17797
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bully View Post
I have found during my parenting career that my children's intelligence and curiosity were almost always in play on the rare occasions that I had to resort to spanking them.
Just saying.
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