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for real, an honest advice from someone who has been there? tell your son to bop him in the nose and fight. for real, they are kids, and have to have a fight at least once. it is a life lesson. Have your son find a nickname for the bully, and when the bully comes around, and your son say "here comes big head" the bully will get a taste of his own medicine. hit from behind if the kid is bigger.
Also encourage your son to hang out with the bigger kids, possible a big kid that gets bullied as well, but has the presence to kick but. Also show your son to defend other kids that get bullied.
My son has stopped 3 bullies before, and is working on his fourth one this summer. My son has many friends and has become popular with all, because he is nice, righteous, and stands his ground.
report it to your childs teacher as well, and the school in person. Dont confront the parents, but let the school get you guys together. Involve the parents if they are standing right their in the act. If they dont respond, order your kids to kick some butt.
Hmm, I get where you're coming from, but if the OP's son hits the boy he will be suspended. I wouldn't advise him to hit anyone. He's young and you don't want him learning that behavior!
Teaching children te defend themselves is necessary. Some conflicts can be reolved by talking, but that does not work all the time.
The current bully in our lives, spends all day at the park, the bigger kids let him play sometimes, and he feels he owns the park. He manipulates all , and feels he needs to be the smart ass center of attention. My son doesnt got to the same school as him, but tries to fit in with the kids. The kids is smaller in size as well.
My advice to my child is that I am sitting nearby, and my son should tell him to mind his own business, and to stay away. Punks not allowed. Get up right in his face, and dont back off.
The bully is starting to get the picture, but not fully. This bully has threathened to stab my son, at 8 years old, only repeating BS he heard in the park. A kid from such a religious family.
I need some advice. There is a little boy in my son's first grade class who is bullying him. He tells other kids in the class not to play with my son and if they do he won't be their friend. He calls my son a crybaby, loser, gay and more. I've talked to the teacher but she said it doesn't happen when she's around which leads me to believe it's happening on the playground. I have the father of the child's phone number and am tempted to call and talk to him about it but don't want to make it worse for my son. My son is generally pretty tough and lets most of it roll off him but it definitely bothers him. Two weeks ago I picked him up and he was crying uncontrollably about it.
My question to y'all is what would you do? We talk about how not to react to the child, how to kill him with kindness and how he should just walk away and ignore him. We've been to the teacher. We are in year round school so it's not like they're going to be out for the summer and they're guaranteed to be in class again next year (and every year really-it's a one class track). As a parent I'd want the other parent to call me but I can also see this backfiring. I've met the dad before but he wasn't overly friendly. I just don't want this to go on for years and years and feel like it's time to stop it.
I remember my mum telling me stick and stones break my bones but names cannot hurt me.
Are you teaching your child the opposite.?
Oh this breaks my heart. I understand you want to trust the teacher is doing the right thing, but your gut is fully telling you something different that you are on this board asking what to do.
Tomorrow go to the school, talk to the principal, counselor and teacher. Demand that your son is not bullied. It doesn't matter that it isn't happening in front of the teacher, it's happening to your son. That is what matters. The earlier you stop it the better.
My son was bullied very badly in third grade. I kept talking to everyone at the school and was promised it was being dealt with. It wasn't until my son broke down in tears and literally fell at my feet asking what was wrong with him that I realized the toll it took on him, it forever changed him.
I can't go back in time, I can only advise you to advocate for your son and not allow this to happen. You are his voice.
Oh this breaks my heart. I understand you want to trust the teacher is doing the right thing, but your gut is fully telling you something different that you are on this board asking what to do.
Tomorrow go to the school, talk to the principal, counselor and teacher. Demand that your son is not bullied. It doesn't matter that it isn't happening in front of the teacher, it's happening to your son. That is what matters. The earlier you stop it the better.
My son was bullied very badly in third grade. I kept talking to everyone at the school and was promised it was being dealt with. It wasn't until my son broke down in tears and literally fell at my feet asking what was wrong with him that I realized the toll it took on him, it forever changed him.
I can't go back in time, I can only advise you to advocate for your son and not allow this to happen. You are his voice.
I agree with many others. You need to go beyond the teacher. I substitute teach and sometimes for long periods of time. When a parent or child tells me there is a problem, I handle it.
One thing I have done is divide the play area into sections. One child goes to play on one side and the other goes to another side. I usually blame the crowd size for this set up so all the children get divided.
It is not so easy to tell a child to hit another. Good kids at that age DON'T WANT TO and it's very hard to override that instinct. The response from the teacher is completely unacceptable. Even if it happened when she wasn't seeing it, it can still be addressed to the entire class that this behavior is unacceptable. And once she was made aware of it it would likely be easy to catch this kid doing it, had she tried. Also - there is SOMEONE on the playground. I am a lunch aid at a school and there are no teachers on the playground or in the lunchroom. We would not tolerate this kind of behavior at all. We watch for it ourselves and stop it. The teachers bring "issues" to our attention (like certain kids not getting along, one child exhibiting a certain behavior, another having an especially bad day). I do the same when I bring the class back. Tell your son that he needs to tell an adult and make them help him when it's happening.
I'm not sure I would immediately bypass the teacher. How much longer will he be in her class? I would not give her another chance to ignore this but I wouldn't want to antagonize her either if your son has to be with her for months. I would instead e-mail saying that the situation is getting worse and that you want to set up a meeting with her and the principal asap. State that the bullying you discussed with her on X date has not only continued but worsened. Maybe mention that it is causing school to be an unsafe place for him. Make sure it's in writing that you have already spoken about this and that nothing has changed. Bullying. Previously discussed. Unsafe place. Use their buzz words to get them listening.
Have you tried role playing with your son? It feels ridiculous, I know. But I think it helps my (kind hearted, thinks everyone is his friend) son speak up for himself. Ask your son what he wishes he could say to this little jerk and then practice doing it. Have him practice screaming "stop it" or "leave me alone" or something that will get an inattentive adult's attention.
Thanks! You all have some wonderful ideas. I am already volunteering as much as I can - I take a day off work every month to do so. And the teacher is overall great, I just think with the class sizes they can't possibly see everything. I've talked to my son about it how he doesn't know what's going on in that boy's home life and that we should be empathetic. We have also invited the boy to his birthday party in hopes that would improve the relationship. Unfortunately there's no way to change classes without totally changing calendars and with new legislation in our state that's nearly impossible. We are on a break right now but if it continues afterwards I will definitely start involving everyone at the school to fix it.
for real, an honest advice from someone who has been there? tell your son to bop him in the nose and fight. for real, they are kids, and have to have a fight at least once. it is a life lesson. Have your son find a nickname for the bully, and when the bully comes around, and your son say "here comes big head" the bully will get a taste of his own medicine. hit from behind if the kid is bigger.
Also encourage your son to hang out with the bigger kids, possible a big kid that gets bullied as well, but has the presence to kick but. Also show your son to defend other kids that get bullied.
My son has stopped 3 bullies before, and is working on his fourth one this summer. My son has many friends and has become popular with all, because he is nice, righteous, and stands his ground.
report it to your childs teacher as well, and the school in person. Dont confront the parents, but let the school get you guys together. Involve the parents if they are standing right their in the act. If they dont respond, order your kids to kick some butt.
This is good advice. I'm getting a kick out of some of these new millenial responses- "threaten to sue".
I know its tough, but we need to teach kids to stand up for themselves to a point. Every one of us got picked on at one point.
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